No "I love you's" over the phone except in person

[xmrth]

I have been wanting to ask this for a while but I just never did.

 

Okay, blah blah. Been with my boyfriend for many years now, over 5.5

But what's with saying "I love you, too" over the phone? He stopped doing that about 2 years ago, maybe slightly more. BUT, in person, he will say it and it is genuine, so all is well.

 

Is it bad he doesn't say it over the phone? I have asked him why he doesn't and he says it just makes him feel weird. I'm happy he says it in person, but I am wanting to know why someone wouldn't say it when they're saying their goodbyes over the telephone. He says it sometimes, actually. But alot of the times he wont.

 

I tell him I like it alot when he does, and I think that gets him to, but other than that he only says it in person. I guess I just like to hear it over the phone still, too.

 

Anybody else not like to say it, or does your S.O. not say it back on the phone?

[misery12]

Well I don't think you have anything to worry about..

He says it in person which is MUCH better than the phone if you ask me.

He's been true, and genuine to you for 5.5 years now, he seems like a great guy, and I don't think you should be worried AT ALL.

 

Maybe if you keep pestering him to say it.. he will feel obliged to say it all the time, and it will become less sincere slowly, and you will be the cause.

 

So just don't make too big of a deal about it, you know he loves you..

and he says it whenever he see's you, and even occasionally on the phone.

He told you that it makes him feel weird, you should respect that.

Believe me, some girls don't hear it from their guys at all... be thankful you have a guy like that.

 

Hope this helps.

[xmrth]

Some people really don't hear it at all? aggh I think I'd never be able to handle that.

Yes, he is so genuine when he says it back. It's very sweet, but unfortunately I have to be the one to say it first. Sometimes I'll help him along and tell him "heey, I think it would be so sweet if you tell me you love me so much and more than anything" and he'll say it very genuinely. He's never been Mr. Romantic, which is fine. He kind of eased into not saying it on the phone. It was never sudden. If I don't say "I love you" to him for a while, he'll definitely say it over the phone, but if I say it even as little as 2 times over the week or two, he'll not say it... but if I repeat myself he'll say it. So I should probably not repeat myself heh.

[ReadyorNot]

My bf only says I love you over the phone if I wont be seeing him that day... I mean, if he just calls to ask me something or see how I am doing I dont expect an "i love you".. especially days when he is bored at work and he calls me a million times...

 

He says it in person so thats all that counts....

 

Im sure its not so great anyway if they say it over the phone... i worked with a girl and she would call her fiance a million times a day and every time they hung up "i love you"... it gets sickening...

[xmrth]

hehe yeah I started to wonder if maybe it gets to a point where it seems too "automatic." I just like to hear it only because I don't see my boyfriend often. Sometimes a day over the week, and always on the weekends. When he started to stop saying it, we saw eachother much more than this, but I think he is just uncomfortable still.. Not sure.

[socalguy123]

saying the famous 3 words means a lot, to everyone, in one way or another. i personally think he may not want it to become or sound trite; i could be reading into it...

 

 

valuing those 3 words, and withholding them for use during the right and special occasions, at least in my experience, is more important that putting them out there all the time. i wouldn't worry about it; you may even appreciate your boyfriend more...

[misery12]

I agree with these posters,

but also, you have to realize that saying I Love You should not be forced, he does love you, and he probably feels secure to say it when he feels it's needed. I know you love to hear it, but don't base your conversations with him to see the big finish if he'll say it or not.

Just don't get caught in a cycle where you're counting the times he says it per week, you'll get way too tangled emotionally and he'll be confused when you start throwing numbers, and facts at him.

 

He's done nothing wrong, and you should accept him for what he's done, and who he is. I am sure you have flaws that he doesn't bring into the open, or ease his way into making you correct. Just let him be, you know he's your man.. don't worry about anything else.

[Mr. B]

...I don't think I can add much here, althoguh I'd concurr that you have nothign to worry about. Perhaps he takes these words very seriously, as he should IMO and does not wish to trivialize them into an automated greeting.

[RayKay]

I think perhaps your boyfriend does not feel that "I love you" is something that should be trivialized or used just like a "goodbye" or be automatic.

 

I don't think one needs to say it all the time...if the love is true you know it is true, even when it is not said all the time. Because then when it IS said, you know it is meant.

 

Some people say the words a lot, but sometimes it desensitizes the person to it...I'd say if he says it in person, and you know he means it don't worry about it!

 

I have had partners that RARELY said it (like maybe once every couple months!) but he absolutely loved me, to ones who said it several times a day, to my current partner where we do say it a couple times a day, but always mean it absolutely, and don't say it just to say it.