Am I an idiot??

[misery12]

Okay, she dumped me 3 weeks ago.. we've been staying close ever since.

Last night she found out from a mutual friend that I was still interested in her, and that I was willing ot take things slow, if she was wiling to give us another shot. she said she will see how saturday goes, and will think about getting back together.

 

Anways, I didn't talk to her all day, so when she came on, I sparked up a convo with her, and about 2 messages in.. she said "brb I have to ask my mom if I can spend the night at steve's house friday night".(steve is having a party, and "everyone" is going in their grade, and their pitching tents/drinking". I tried to keep the convo up beat, and tried to make it look as if I didn't care and said "haha ok".

 

when she returned, she said her mom was thinking.. and then I said "wont your mom care if you spend the night with boys in a tent, ahha"

 

and she said "haha, I just wont tell her, if we do".

 

and this ripped my heart out.. then she said "we need more liquor".

 

we were planning on hanging out saturday, because my pool is ready, and we were gonna swim, and hang out. she then said she had to go, so i asked if she still was up for saturday, and she said "I dunno, maybe", and then she had to go.

 

I don't know!!! She told my friend that she was gonna see how saturday went, and would think about giving us another shot..

and now she's planning on staying the night at the party..

I feel left out/jealous/insecure.. used..

 

I also found it weird that she said "I have to go ask mom if I can spend the night, etc..." why wouldn't she just said "be right back"... does she want to see how I would react to it?

 

What do I do??

[GettingOverIt]

Nothing. Don't do a dang thing. Actually, yeah, go out with some of your friends, have a good time, and don't stress over this. Who knows why she said what she did - she may have been looking for a reaction (which you gave her, no matter how laid back you think you were) or if she was just talking to talk... In any case, find something to occupy your time so you wont be mulling around about it....

[DN]

Relax - see what happens before you jump to conclusions. If you over-react you could drive her away for good.

[misery12]

I also said "haha ... just dont do anything stupid"

and she just said "?", so I said "what" and her reply was "oh nevermind"

 

I told her to have a good time..

I also just fear that if she does do something, she will say, "well I was drunk".. or I wont find out at all.. and I will always wonder if she did something that night or not.

 

because I said "who's going" and she labeled off at least 10 different guys/girls.

[Hope75]

Mis,

 

Remember, if this is too much for you at any time you have the right to walk away. That's your choice if you can't handle this anymore.

 

Right now, you have no rights to be telling her what she can and cannot do, and who she can and cannot see. It's tough, I know you have feelings for her, but that's the hard truth.

[heloladies21]

I think she's just stringing you along. She won't give you another chance and eventually she'll get bored with you and drop you like a bad habit. Best course of action is to go No Contact and start talking to other girls.

[misery12]

Thanks guys..

Hope, I know it is tough.. I do have feelings for her, and tonight at my sister's graduation I saw her mom, and her sister.. and they both came up to me and said hello.

 

Sometimes I wonder how she could treat me like this, because when she's over, she's so nice to my parents, and she's so comfortable here, and sometimes it seems that she takes me, and what we have/had for granted.

 

I know I don't have any right to tell her anything, that's why I swallowed my insecurities, and told her to have a fun night. The thing is, I don't want to be sitting home saturday, waiting for her to make up her mind..

 

Heloladies...

I see where you're coming from, and I see why you think that, but from my point of view it seems a little different. She is a social girl, and likes hanging out with her friends and having a good time. I find myself asking why she isn't more like her sister, (who is more into staying home some nights, with her boyfriend.. and a VERY nice person.) But I cannot expect her and her sister to be twins, they're 2 different people.

 

Summer is just starting, and maybe she just wants to go out and have fun... and I am not going to stop her. We will have our chance to work on things.. and believe me, I have dignity, and self-respect and if I personally think that she's taking advantage of me, I will step in, and tell her.

 

I think that it's worth one more attempt, I know what I have to do.. and im going to try it out. If I fail, then at least I will see her true colors.

But, I think if I play my cards right, and don't be overly protective or insecure about our relationship, things may work out.

 

Tonight when I got home, I had a message waiting from her saying "$10 tomorrow please =) " because we have our graduation tomorrow, and I'll see her. (I owe her that money).

 

We'll see how things work, and i'll keep you all informed.

[Hope75]

Hang in there Mis,

 

and try to remember that when enough is enough, you can leave and take care of you, ok?

 

I hope that for your sake you get your second chance and it works out for you, but if not, than understand that you did what you could and if it doesn't work out, there are alot more ladies out there that will appreciate you, and as you mature some more you will learn to control your insecurities a little more too, when you realize that you are worth it.