I met the ex - chemistry, tears, what now?

[troutboy]

We had a nice night, a few drinks and stared at each other for what seemed an eternity... We talked and talked, flirted, she kept touching me. I acted all happy and upbeat, shes said she loves me, always did and would've married me... but she is sort of back with her ex, but he lives in another town, she has been undecided for the last 6 months whether to move to be with him or not, and she hasn't left yet - 6 months on, she says if she does it will be for good, kids, marriage with him etc. She says 'he's changed' and is a much happier person now. Although I doubt this.

 

I love this woman to bits, she seemed to know everything that I have been up to which was interesting, and I mean everything!!!! Right down to what I have been buying via the internet! She was especially interested in the women I have been seeing... we hugged for ages when we left the pub and we gave each other a small kiss on the lips, then she started really crying (she hardly ever cries!). I talked to her for a bit on the phone when I got home which was nice, like old times (after shed checked in with her ex on the phone!) I acted all happy and upbeat which I was.

 

How can I get her back, I miss her and I think she misses me???, half of me wants her to go live with the ex again so she can see what shes missing in me, her ex and her were together 4 years, me and her just 1 year, he never said he loved her in that time and wasn't affectionate at all, loved his job more etc. - but now all of a sudden he is saying these things constantly since he's sort of got her back (she hasn't moved yet - 6 months later!)

 

She left me in January, we got back together briefly after that and slept together in again in mid-april. I am a bit lost as what to do now? I did N/C for about 2 months which was great, I'd like to be her friend but even more I'd like to be her partner again - how should I play this now, leave her alone again, she hinted this morning (we work together) we get together again soon to burn some CD's at my place, I asked her up last night but she said "I don't trust myself" round you repeatedly, then she suggests this???

 

Help me...

[suprema99]

Hey trout. I think you should try to get her back in your life. It sounds she's not sure and is choosing what to do. Maybe she hoping your gonna make things work here, who know's by what you described the last time you saw her. I would try that approuch if you have that feeling.

[DN]

What was great about NC? Because she contacted you after a time or because you started to move on?

[troutboy]

Because I feel I have moved on, met new people etc. I coped really well, much more together than I expected to be when meeting her. N/C obviously had an effect on her, you could see she'd been following my life through others which says to me, she really cares.

 

I have no regrets about meeting her. She seemed sad and I was happy - just after we split up she had an abortion to me - which I think has made her a bit emotional, she didn't tell me this, she let it slip last night after a few drinks...

[suprema99]

Hey trout, I think nc worked on you as well. Maybe it's more of a comlicated situation probably. But then again touching you and drinks with her as you described, should't matter if you didn't want her back I think DN posed a good question about your situation

[DN]

If no contact worked well for you then, it will probably do even better this time. This girl is too conflicted to be able to make you happy any time soon. Best to move on. And, you will know best, but I frankly doubt the abortion scenario. That is not the sort of information you accidentally let slip, even after a few drinks.