Saying "I love you"

[dustinthewind]

hey guys..

 

i have posted today already about some troubles in my relationship. I realize that maybe what I need to do is tell him how I REALLY feel...ie. the big 3 words. We have been together for 9 months....so its not like im rushing into anything. I am sure that I feel this way...and the thought of being without him makes me feel sick. I think its importatnt to know how I feel....but I am so scared to tell him. He hasnt said it yet...but has made jokes about it...like "you love me....wooo" in a joking manner but its a big step...one that I wanted to be sure that I felt ..before I took it...

 

ANy advice on how to say it?? or....how long it usualyl takes to say it? should I wait longer? we are 22....and I really really care about him...I think us having a fight a few days ago..and almost losing him, made me realize how I feel.... Thanks

[passions1]

Some people say they have received the "I Love You" by 6 months. However, I think it all depends on the 2 individuals & how much experience & how much they have gone through with e/o.

 

If you feel that you honestly, truly love him & not afraid to lose him despite saying it to him, then it sounds like you would be ready to say those 3 words.

 

For some people, they say I love you by setting up the mood. A friend of mine cooked a romantic dinner for her bf with all his favorite foods.

[HajiMaji]

I think you are ready to say it! My advice is dont be akward about it. Make it smooth and sweet. Dont wait for his reaction. Say it as if you dont care if he says it back.

[ladyluck]

go on a date or even stay in with a movie and follow what hajimaji say's. that's the way to go about it

good luck sweetie

[sidehop]

If you truly love him, tell him how you feel

[Hope75]

I think you should just tell him how you feel. Be prepared in case he isn't ready to say it back, but that's not why you are telling him in the first place, you are telling him because you want to share your feelings with him.

 

Best of luck!

[Hope75]

I'm having the same problem. I have been with my boyfriend a year and three months and he still hasen't said "I love you". I told him once that I loved him and he said that he couldn't say it back. You should tell him how you feel but be prepared for him not to say it back because it hurts.

 

After 15 months he doesn't know if he loves you? Are you concerned about that at all? Has he given you any reason why he has not and cannot say that yet?

[ShySoul]

Don't think about it, don't plan anything. That will only make you more nervous. When you are together and the thought crosses you mind, just tell him. You will feel so much relief for just getting it out. And the first times the hardest. From there you'll probably want to say it every chance you get.

 

liz22,

 

Is there something in his past preventing him from saying it? Some people have been through alot so they close up and its hard for anyone to get through. He has to be the one to get through it. If everything else is fine, its great that you stick with him. But if he isn't returning the affection at all, he's not worth it.

[Pash]

Well my gf said she loved me when we had been just chatting for a bit... Took me COMPLETELY off guard... I just paused for a couple of seconds. Like woah! This is big, This was after two months of going out, yet we knew each other for 8 total. I was glad to know how she felt. Even if i didnt feel the same way it was still good to know. I would say that if he freaks out after 9 months from hearing that then there would be alot of other things involved.

[dustinthewind]

Hey guys. thanks for your replies...I still haven;t said it yet. I dont think that there is anything reallyl preventing my from saying it..e.xcept that I am scared. It just seems to weird to hang up the phone now....and NOT say it...its like I have to catch myslef from saying it....or when we are saying goodbye I WANT to say it...I know I love him. I dont know why he hasn't told me. He was in a serious relationship when he was younger (3 years with the girl...1 year of just "seeing her -with sex..after they broke up) and then he finallyl cut all contact and it took a year for him to get over her....so maybe there is something that is preventing him from saying it. I really dont want to be the first person to say it..I dont know..I am so scared. I know that he wont be upset..or anything. he will probably be happy...but its just.....intimadating...any suggestions?

[Diabra]

This is a touchy situation for sure. I am in the same sort of position as well right now, so I can totally relate to what you're saying. I find myself wanting to say it all the time to my b/f but since he already knows how I feel (I've told him I love him in a roundabout way when we were chatting online before) but he has not yet said those three words to me.

Neither of us have yet said it in person...but more importantly than actually saying it is how this guy is treating you.

Is he *ACTING* like he loves you? Is he romantic and affectionate towards you? Does he show an interest in your life and what you are doing when you two aren't together? Does he ask about your work/school? Does he open himself up emotionally to you? There are many ways to detect if a man loves you other than having him actually come out and say those three magic words.

Look for his love to show in his eyes when he looks at you, in his kiss when his lips meet yours, and in the way he strokes your arm or back when you are just sitting around watching movies together at home.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all want to *HEAR* those three words, but even more important than hearing him say them is the ways in which he *SHOWS* it.

[Diva_Lee]

girl u sound just like me. im in the exact same situation. my b/f and i will be together 9 months on tuesday. we had an argument a few days ago and today i was thinking a should tell him i love him this weekend( not because of the argument but because of how i feel deep in my heart). girl i really want to let him know how i feel. ive been running from it for a while but now i think its time. see he told me he loved me when we first got together and i wasnt ready for love. but i feel im ready now. well we'll see. but good luck girl. i think u should go for it if u feel it in ur heart and it truly feels like love

[elveden]

There's no right and wrong baby - just let it flow! No one can decide the definative time to say 'i love you' - each his own..

 

If you feel the time is right then go for it, and if he's been making jokes about you loving him, i'd call it a definate sign that he wants to take the relationship further..

 

It sounds to me as though he's shy to make the first move, and if that is the case, then he'll be SO wanting you to make it..

 

Go for it..

[jerseygirl3]

If you have trouble saying those three magical words, maybe you should do it in a more original and unique way. Let me suggest sending him a heart shaped soap that says "I love you".

its a really special way. i recently bought my boyfriend a gift from this website called link removed

 

check it out. he really loved the gift i gave him

hope i helped you

[The_Doc]

question...

 

How soon is 'too soon'... or are we wrong to put any kind of time frames on this kind of thing??

[darkblue]

There should be no time limits on this sort of thing.

 

Go with feelings; not time.