Lily04 Posted June 19, 2005 Share Posted June 19, 2005 Last summer I dated a guy for about 2 months. It got sexual pretty fast, not because I really felt ready but more because we were both inexperienced and naiive, and he wanted to try pretty much everything. I was easily way hotter than him, and he always wanted to show me off to all his friends. I remember one time his friend was visiting from another state and he got pretty angry because I wouldn't commute the hour and so to visit him, so he could introduce us... Anyway, I broke it off when he ended up leaving for grad school at the end of the summer in another country. But when we were dating he took naked pics of me. I trusted him then, but now I'm not so sure. I was really paranoid when we broke up about them but didn't think there was much I could do. I recently registered for link removed, however, just to check out the site (I never created a profile or anything, just wanted to see my friends' profiles) and after a few minutes I got a request from my ex-boyfriend to add him as a friend! I was really shocked... it was a really hard breakup for him I know, but I'm still pretty sure he's interested in me even though I broke up with him a year ago and haven't kept in touch. I'm just really paranoid now that he might have been showing my pics to his friends to show them off (since I'll probably be the hottest girl he'll date... I was really insecure at the time about my looks, although now that my sister started modelling I see that I actually am quite above average compared to a lot of people...) Is there anything I can do now to find out? I can't directly ask one of his friends because that would be so embarrassing, esp. if he never sent them... but I just don't know what to do... Any comments would help... I realize I was young & stupid, but he was my first boyfriend, 3 years older than me, everything was really new and I didn't really consider the consequences at the time. But at least we didn't have sex... one thing I insisted on. Link to comment
cichlid Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Facebook me too! LOL! J/K ...Yeah, I'm on there... Um...but seriously if he is showing your naked pictures to his friends and stuff that's his problems, not yours. How's he going to look to his friends...like he just can't let go. My opinion...forget about it. What's done is done and you will never know unless you want to risk embarrassment to ask a friend. To me that risk doesn't seem worth it unless you knew most the people he is friends with. Link to comment
xmrth Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Try to even better accept that there's nothing you can do-- not to feel helpless, but that there's so little you can do that you may as well NOT even worry. Know what I mean? What you did with having naked pictures taken was supposed to be personal between you and your boyfriend at the time. They were EXCLUSIVELY just for the two of you-- so there's really nothing you did wrong. It's not like you had a boyfriend and you were messing with another guy and the other guy got the naked pics, you know? If he's showing people naked pictures of his EX GIRLFRIEND then he'll definitely get teased that he LOST you, and eventually stop-- or lose them/throw them away, whichever comes first. Maybe he already lost them, or forgot about them? But in any case, I don't think you should even mention the pictures or ask where they are as tempting as it may be, and maybe try to stay away from him even online so he'll forget about you and not be reminded of the naked pictures he may (or may not) have of you still. By the way, I think you will be most relieved when he gets a new girlfriend, because you know he wont want his next lady to see them! I'd say when he does, that's when you'll know you can relax most of all. Link to comment
Lily04 Posted June 20, 2005 Author Share Posted June 20, 2005 Thanks that helped. I guess I'm just really mad at myself for letting him take them, although it was something personal between the two of us and I never thought at the time that he would show them to people, since he seemed to respect me a lot... but, looking back, he seems the type that would show them off just because he's insecure himself and would love getting compliments from his friends on dating a 'hot' girl. He's such a loser, honestly... I remember he sent me one of his friend's thesis (in the works) just to make fun of it because he thought his writing was so much better than his. I mean, who does that to a friend? I shouldn't have even dated him... but guys are usually intimidated by me so I never seem to get asked out, and he was one of the few that actually asked... and since I was bored in the summer and somewhat interested, I said ok... it seems like he's *still* not over me though, even though we only dated for 2 months, and it's been a year! I never accepted his Facebook request, however, I just wish he would let go... Link to comment
sidehop Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Being the guy, I have yet to see any of my friends showing off their naked ex g/f's picture...and like others have said even if he did, he's the one that is not with you any longer. Besides you considered yourself hot! The guys are probably drooling like dogs fantasizing. I wouldn't worry Link to comment
DropToZero Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Not really much to comment on the pics...if he shows them, there's not much you can do now...since you trusted him then. Otherwise, you dated him b/c you were bored? You don't get asked out often b/c you intimidate guys...? Yea, its too bad guys are too afraid to mess w/ you b/c of what you look like...probably all afraid you'll leave them, fumbling words...pretty much kissing up to you so they don't lose you haha you sound a little bit like a challenge...that's not a bad thing hehe, I dont think you could keep up tho (and I rarely use those...be glad hah) Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 i had pictures of my ex...never showed them to friends, even after the breakup..even when i "hated" her. It was not something I wanted to do and would not make me feel better either. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 The truth is that he could be showing your pics to his friends and you dont really know what he did with them. You let him take the pics, now you have to live with the consequences. Since there isnt anything you can do about it now why dont you just let it be. Link to comment
marijo2480 Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Sorry, but as others have said, you just have to live with the consequences. Lesson learned: don't get naked for anybody, especially for pics, unless that man is your husband...or you're 100% sure that he will be soon enough! Link to comment
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