Is she seeing someone else

[dan082953]

I have read that it can be really damaging to even sugget ot your spose that they are cheating. Id they are not a lot of damage gets done.

 

So what should I do? About a month ago my wife came home from work about 2 hours late, she had called and said she was going to go have drinks with some co workers. It was normal for her to work until 8:00 - at a race track. She came home and I was dozing off when I heard her sobbing in the bathroom. When I sked her whay she said it had nothing to do with me...for days I tried but she would tell me no more of the why with the crying. the two days ago as we were ending an eveing out, As I parked the car in the garage out of no where she blurted out

"If you want out, why don't you just say so" I never got close to that thought and up until these two incidents everything had been just great, now there seems to be a feeling of , well not a close or something...what am I to make of this....

 

Make A

[brando]

I think you need more information from her.... give it a day or two and try asking her what is wrong.

[Your1Desire]

There's nothing wrong with you bringing this up.

 

My ex brought it up with me a few times when we were together and because I wasn't cheating, it never bothered me for her to ask. I'd just shrug it off and say "Of course not silly!"...

 

However, if she's holding things back from you then that's another problem altogether. I don't think the people in this site are going to be able to solve the problem for you or tell you what she might or might not be doing. You're just going to have to talk this one out with her.

 

Good luck!

[RandomAdvisor]

My ex brought it up with me a few times when we were together and because I wasn't cheating, it never bothered me for her to ask. I'd just shrug it off and say "Of course not silly!"...

 

Whoa. You're definitly the exception and not the rule. Most people would be deeply hurt and offended for their loved one to accuse them of cheating.

 

As for the original poster, I think we need more information. You should talk to your wife about what she said to you in the car. Let her know you love her and have no intention of leaving her, and want to hear what's bothering her...

[heloladies21]

Whoa man, tons of red flags just filled up my cpu screen. Something's going on and you need to find out what. I think you're right, and she's feeling really guilty about it too. Not good at all. Talk to her again, but let her do all the talking. Don't even bring up cheating, that's something she's going to have to admit on her own. Ask her why she was crying, ask her why she was trying to get you to dump her. If she says it's nothing, tell her this won't just go away so she should be honest with you and talk to you about it. Tell her you're worried about her. Whatever she feels, you need to figure things out. Don't end the conversation until you get some answers.

[OceanEyes]

Whoa. You're definitly the exception and not the rule. Most people would be deeply hurt and offended for their loved one to accuse them of cheating.

 

I think this depends entirely on why he would even ask in the first place. I know that, at times, I can appear distant and leave for the whole day without calling, so I could kind of understand why my boyfriend would think that there was something going on. Sometimes peoples' behaviour merits suspicion, but never outrightly accusing and being aggressive.

 

 

dan082953: There is definitely not enough information to determine whether or not your wife is being unfaithful. However, there is enough information to determine that she's not being a fair communicator and is definitely keeping something from you. Nobody just sits and cries for no reason and refuses to discuss it with the person who they are sharing their life with.

 

You should not feel bad about bringing up issues with your wife. As a person in your relationship, you deserve to know why your wife is so upset and refusing to talk to you about it. Who wouldn't be suspicious?

[dan082953]

Thanks for all your comments. I have tried someone here in the last day. This time when I brought up the crying she got sort of angy and defensive and agin told me it had nothing to do with me. then I asked her what and who it did have to do with. the I nicely and affectionately said...if it has to do with you it has to do with me...we are a team, I am your husband...I will aways be here for you. She siad..."no that's not always true" then left the room. Later I asked about the comment in the car..why would you think I would ant out? She replied "well do you" I said absolutely not..never..it never crossed my mine ...she said "then okay you don't want out - what else do you want me to tell you" then I said you can tell me anything you want to anytime, ever....she then said I don't have anything to tell you you are the one that should be asking all the questions...(what the hell did that mean)

 

Guess I am naive...but Help me some more thanks

[Dissed]

Sorry to say but it sounds highly suspicious to me.

i would go with your gut feeling, i would ask her if she was seeing someone else.

I asked my wife about 4 times & each time she denied it unto I finally caught her out so asking does not always solve it..

[Hope75]

How was your relationship before this happened? Did you communicate well with one another? Did you spend time together and do things with one another to keep the relationship alive?

 

Do you know any reason she would think you wanted out?

 

Love is verb, it is initally something we fall into, but the giddiness and novelty merely sets the platform, and thereafter love is a conscious choice, a seed we need to nurture in order for it to continue to flourish.

 

Just wondering if you guys got really comfortable and forgot to do the things necessary to make each other feel loved and appreciated.