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I haven't been getting much attention from my partner.

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I've been busy with things and haven't been able to see my partner for about a week. I try to communicate online but my partner doesn't communicate very often back. I have also been feeling sexual desire but I can't do anything about it because i haven't been able to see my partner. For some context i have never been the person to watch porn but suddenly the urge for a release became too strong to resist and i indulged in it. I felt extremely guilty immediately after and wasn't even able to get satisfaction from watching it like expected. That brings me to now and i don't know what to do. The feelings of guilt won't leave and the lack of my attention from my partner isn't helping this sexual desire. Should i communicate what happened or hide it or is there a better option?

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45 minutes ago, midoriya said:

 i don't know what to do. The feelings of guilt won't leave and the lack of my attention from my partner isn't helping this sexual desire. Should i communicate what happened 

How long have you been dating? How old is she? Is masturbation/porn taboo in your culture/religion?

When will you next see each other? A week is not an eternity. Are you both busy or just you? 

Please do not inflict this on your partner as if she's responsible or has to deal with your unfounded guilt. 

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2 hours ago, smackie9 said:

You can watch porn, use a toy, fantasize about other people....doesn't matter. Whatever you do in your personal sexual time is nobody's business.

I agree. Learning how to satisfy yourself sexually empowers you to be less dependent on anyone else. This takes pressure off you and your partner. It also leads to better choices because it reduces sexual motives for engaging with people who you otherwise would choose to avoid.

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The issue here is the lack of communication and connection between you and your partner. When two people are close, they come to rely on and desire that time together. It uplifts there spirit and brightens there mood. In not being around each other and they not communicating at all with you, you aren't getting any needs met - be it physical, emotional or mental. 

The porn was a quick solution to try and get at least one of those things fulfilled. But you discovered the problem with porn - it's ultimately unfilling because it lacks the connection with another person. If it was really just about a release, you wouldn't be having a problem with your actions right now. Instead you feel guilty. Don't be too hard on yourself, what you did was fine and understandable. If anything, it showed you that porn isn't the solution you thought it was.

I wouldn't focus on the porn. Instead, work to have better communication in the relationship and spend more time together. If you can't be together in person, speak to them. Don't just rely on being online, actually call and talk to the person. Hear there voice. If you have to be online, do a five minute Zoom call so you can actually see them. When I've cared for someone, we've done our best to speak every night so that we still feel that closeness and connection with each other. 

And if you still feel sexual desire, there are other ways to deal with it even if the two of you can't be together in person. Just make sure both of you are okay with it. 😉

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