why Suddenly..

[LINDA]

My ex reached out to me via text early today to discuss a new job opportunity and how I am a good fit for it. He told me to check on it
My heart sank because he suddenly showed up on my contact list after leaving me 4 months ago. 
I did not reply to his message and I am not planning to do so. Did I do it in the right way?

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, LINDA said:

My ex reached out to me via text early today to discuss a new job opportunity and how I am a good fit for it. He told me to check on it
My heart sank because he suddenly showed up on my contact list after leaving me 4 months ago. 
I did not reply to his message and I am not planning to do so. Did I do it in the right way?

No need to reply -check out the job if you wish.  If  you reply I'd simply write "thanks.  take care" so he knows you're not open to being in contact and are simply being polite

[LINDA]

20 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

No need to reply -check out the job if you wish.  If  you reply I'd simply write "thanks.  take care" so he knows you're not open to being in contact and are simply being polite

I deleted the message and assumed it never existed. I don't want to contact or initiate contact with someone who caused me a lot of pain.

[smackie9]

3 hours ago, LINDA said:

I deleted the message and assumed it never existed. I don't want to contact or initiate contact with someone who caused me a lot of pain.

You did the right thing. He had no real reason to contact you, especially when he was the one that caused you so much grief. I would say he's casting a line out to see if you will bite. Well too frickin bad I say...he can go stuff it. 

[Cookie24]

He's testing the waters to see if he can still shoot his shot with you, and you did the right thing especially that he caused you pain.. 

[SooSad33]

Good for you!  Shows your strength 🙂 .

I had an ex or two try that crap as well.  Stoopid me, replied once and the chatter went on for a cpl weeks.. then I was triggered, as I felt in ways, I was being led on.. again and quickly put an end to that! He ended up asking me why I stopped talkin to him via email, so I eventually did respond with .. ' I appreciated you & never lied to you - sadly, I didn't get it in return'. - and felt it had all triggered me again 😕 .

This was back near end of Oct and we hadn't spoken in about 4+ yrs!  Then he msg'd me again on NY's, wishing me a Happy NY's.. blah blah.. and then to view my profile recently on dating site?  - whatever.

hey buddy, your loss 😉 .

Carry on.. as I remind myself,, 'the past has nothing new to say'.

 

[poorlittlefish]

I don't know the circumstances of your break-up, but the guy knew you well enough to think you'd be good at a particular job that has become available.  If he just told you about the job and didn't start asking how you are or anything else, then maybe there was nothing else to it.  Maybe he was appeasing his conscience?  Whether that was the case or not, you not replying should have given him the message not to try again.  Block and delete his number if you don't want to hear from him.  

[ShySoul]

After all this time he still thought of you in enough of a positive light to consider recommending a job that he thought you might be good at. He wasn't trying to get back with you or force himself into your life. Seems like he was trying to do a nice thing for you. If the job is something you would be interested in, no reason to ignore it and possibly miss out on a great opportunity just because of your past with one person.

What were the circumstances of the break up? If he did something really bad, then of course, feel free to ignore him. But if it was relatively amicable and he's not doing anything too rude or uncomfortable, a polite thank you doesn't seem too much to say.

[LINDA]

5 hours ago, ShySoul said:

After all this time he still thought of you in enough of a positive light to consider recommending a job that he thought you might be good at. He wasn't trying to get back with you or force himself into your life. Seems like he was trying to do a nice thing for you. If the job is something you would be interested in, no reason to ignore it and possibly miss out on a great opportunity just because of your past with one person.

What were the circumstances of the break up? If he did something really bad, then of course, feel free to ignore him. But if it was relatively amicable and he's not doing anything too rude or uncomfortable, a polite thank you doesn't seem too much to say.

I appreciate your input. Thank you, please feel free to read my story

Since then, I haven't heard from him. I won't accept any kind of offer, and I won't be thankful for it.

[ShySoul]

Given the history, you did the right thing. No point in putting yourself at risk again, emotionally or financially. For what it's worth, your kindness is admirable. Unfortunately, there are people who take advantage of that. Lots of people fall victim to these people. Don't blame yourself, but do make sure to be careful on who you trust. Relationships are 50/50, not 99/1. Hope you've been doing well and ignore him.