I messed up… need advice

[Jake1276]

Hello,

I am currently in a long distance talking stage. The girl that I am talking to lives about 3 hours away, and I see her on most weekends. A few days ago, I went to a party and unfortunately made a mistake I regret deeply. I hooked up with another girl. (For context, I am in high school). I regret what I did. I found out that there are some videos of me and this girl floating around, and I was sent the videos today by two of my “somewhat” friends. I am worried about the videos getting in the wrong hands, and possibly being sent to my talking stage. For context, my talking stage has little to no mutual connections via social media. Also, few people know that we are talking. (Some of my friends even think that we stopped) What I need advice on is how to get these videos deleted, and to make sure they don’t get sent to my talking stage. I understand that I messed up, I just need help. Do I confront the people who have the videos, and tell them to delete them?  How do I make sure they don’t spread? I don’t want these being used as potential blackmail. I feel like the chance of someone sending them are low, since nobody knows who she is. I just want to make sure nothing happens in the future. Any help would be greatly appreciated. 

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, Jake1276 said:

I am currently in a long distance talking stage. The girl that I am talking to lives about 3 hours away, and I see her on most weekends. 

Are you or is she away for university? How did you meet? Why is it a distance situation? How old is she? How long have you been seeing each other? Are you intimate or dating or exclusive?

This isn't about erasing videos, this is about your nebulous situationship and seeing her every weekend and calling it "talking stage" (whatever that is) but not wanting her to find out you're sleeping around. 

Why not try to define your relationship? Are you exclusive or casual or FWB or something else? You wouldn't be worried about sleeping around or videos unless you are not clear with her about seeing each other every weekend and what that is. 

[Batya33]

What is talking? I'm married and I talk to a lot of people including men.  Did you promise each other exclusivity? When you see each other is it one on one and if so are you talking in a friendly way or flirting and are you intimate? I would tell her you hooked up with a woman at a party if you'd promised exclusivity.  Otherwise if she sees or hears about it simply tell her yes it happened and we were friends then so I didn't think it was any of your business.