Girlfriends- Ex Lover

[Hxavier1411]

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 1 year and 1 month. We met last October(2022) and I asked her to be my girlfriend at the end of November (2022). So ever since I met her, everything felt right. Same interests, same ethnic background, my parents love her, her parents love me, even my her family who lives in another country has heard great things about me from her grandma who came to visit the US for the first time. Anyway, during our relationship(in the beginning) she told me about an old guy who she used to like. And I thought whatever, bc we all like someone in our past of course. I know I’m not the first guy she was attracted too. Anyway, not too long ago I was on her phone, specifically instagram, and I scrolled  thru her messages and saw she was texting the guy she once liked. I know you may think that I’m being nosy but we both let each other use each others phones, and I was doing it while she was sitting right across me. So I end up looking at her messages and she’s having casual conversation. But I scroll a little higher and the guys is talking about how he wants sex and how he is horny. I was so mad that she was entertaining this guy so I told her about it. She ended up saying nothing was wrong but I told her that it disturbed me and she continued to tell me that she love me only. Anyway, we talk more about this guy and she told me that this guy never gave her the attention back in the day, and she was always sad that he seemed to be only using her to have sex or get to that point. Of course my girlfriend said she never let him get that far so eventually broke things off with him. Then later she met me and completely broke contact with the guy. However, once the guy found out she had a boyfriend which was me, he was trying to take her back. Came to her dorm room and everything. Only thing is that she didn’t tell me about this until a whole year later and that’s because I was asking so many questions. Anyway, we then came to the conclusion that she was going to get rid of all these people who did her dirty by unfollowing so they wouldn’t contact her again. 2 months later tho, I told her what happened to the conclusion. And she told me she has done nothing wrong and that her conscious was clean. Two days later, I have her phone I scroll thru messages and see she was texting the guy again. I’m currently so mad at her and I’ve been thinking about breaking things off. However I really love her and I truly believe she is one of a kind. But I get enraged thinking that she’s only with me to piss off the other guy or because being with me get her his attention.

[lostandhurt]

Sounds like you are place holder until her dream guy finally wants a relationship with her.

She has told you straight out she did nothing wrong but you have plainly told her it is wrong to be messaging this guy that keeps trying to get in her pants.

 This comes down to boundaries, respect for the relationship and being faithful not only physically but emotionally.  She obviously still has feelings for this guy and always wanted to be with him so she hangs on waiting till he changes and wants her too.

  I am sorry but she clearly is not going to stop and no amount of love on your part is going to change that.

I think it is time to rethink how you view her.

 Lost

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, Hxavier1411 said:

I truly believe she is one of a kind

Nah, she isn't. 

She's out here having inappropriate communication with another guy, to the detriment of your relationship. One of a kind, you say? Pfft. She's your average immature young woman who isn't ready for a commitment. 

1 hour ago, Hxavier1411 said:

I’ve been thinking about breaking things off

That would be best. She is showing you very clearly she doesn't view your relationship the same way you do, and her heart and mind are not really in it.

1 hour ago, Hxavier1411 said:

we both let each other use each others phones

Moot now, but may I ask why? Surely you can use your own phone to scroll your own socials. Using hers to scroll her IG makes no sense. Have there been trust issues before? 

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Hxavier1411 said:

 her family who lives in another country  .she told me that this guy never gave her the attention back in the day, and she was always sad that he seemed to be only using her to have sex or get to that point. 

Is this guy from her hometown or local? If she's sexting other guys and you're regularly policing her phone it may be time to reflect how intact your relationship really is. 

[MrMan1983]

7 hours ago, Hxavier1411 said:

I truly believe she is one of a kind

No such thing, there will be plenty of other women out there who will treat you with more respect.

[smackie9]

nope she hasn't listened to a word you said....dump her. 

I don't care if you "love" her....she's not acting like someone that's in love with you. 

[shouldhavelearned]

Get out before your locked in for 18 years