Do I break up with my cheating long term fiancée before Christmas or after?

[BeltSecret7422]

I just found out that my long term partner of 10 years is cheating on me and looking to buy nudes off of younger women. It is 10 days until Christmas and i'm freaking out a little. What do I do? we have small children and I don't want to disrupt their holidays - I finished doing all of the Christmas shopping and i think i'm still in shock that he would be so disrespectful and embarrass me like this. I just need advice, maybe from someone who has had a similar situation around the holidays with children.

 

**As bad as it sounds, id feel guilty not letting him see the kids and spend Christmas with them, i keep telling myself to just fake a smile, and take it until Christmas is over, so my kids are not traumatized by the situation.

I don't know what i'm doing. 

[catfeeder]

I read your other post, and I'm so sorry you're going through this. Your partner has been mistreating you in other ways beyond cheating, and there's nothing to try to salvage with him. So I wouldn't raise the issue with him, because there's nothing either of you can say that would resolve the problems, and it could only escalate things and may possibly provoke him to harm you.

Do you have family you can go to? If so, then get there safely and immediately. Move the presents along with you and tell the children you're doing special holidays with family who wants to see them. If you can go while your partner is away on one of his trysts, you won't need a confrontation. You can pull over to a safe place to text him that you have a family emergency and will speak with him later.

If you don't have a place to go, contact your local hospital's human services department and ask for a referral to a counselor from a domestic violence prevention group. These groups are trained to help get people away from potentially unsafe partners, and you don't need to have been physically abused in order to use their services. They have resources available that are not know to the public.

Once you are in a safe place, use local hospital services as mentioned above for a referral to legal aid or a case worker who can help you obtain legal services for advice on all your options to keep you safe and to protect you financially.

My heart goes out to you. I'd get away from this man as quickly as possible with the least amount of confrontation. Anyone who has mistreated you so badly has the potential to harm you the moment he realizes he's been discovered, and that's not a safe situation. 

 

[smackie9]

No time like the present....yup do it now.