Leave for good ?

[Michaelac]

Need some advice I’m struggling right now with depression and axierty and I’m really down and I think it’s the relationship that I can’t seem to leave. I do love him that’s why I’m finding it hard to get rid of him even tho I no I should, he has messaged other woman behind my back at the start one of was his ex of just 6 mths, eventually that led into them sleeping together he finished with me first said it was not working but when she didn’t want a relationship with him he came back to me telling me it was a mistake and wouldn’t of happened if we had been ok, but she sent me his messages and he was saying he missed her and wanted to be with her that hurt, then we got Back togther he then caused another argument and we fell out he then slept with another girl far younger than him I only found the msg a year after this had happened but the msg was really bad he said he’s sick of sleeping with her when he’s drunk and wants more and he loved it and to take pictures off fb so I don’t see that must of fizzled out as she was far younger he then came Bach to me again saying he loved me I’m not sure what else he’s done or anything since but I can’t trust him and it’s driving me round the bend. We went on holiday he made me pay for my half and my spending money which is fine but the ex he was with 6 mth he paid for a 7k holiday for her and her kids and spending money he forgot my birthday recently not even a card nothing he makes no effort with me at all and it’s starting to depress me he seemed to do a lot more with the ex and others than with me it’s not about money it’s about effort and there’s nothing, it’s like I’m not important for him to impress me he would pay for weekends away with them nothing with me at all, I really want out but I’m staying coz I love him nothing else I can’t stand him when I think what he’s done with other woman in his house I don’t even want to be there , he slags me off to Everyone and it’s like he’s no respect he stares at woman when we go out even msg his friend a few week ago about a bar maid to say he liked her but he says it’s banter and nothing in it I’m really not happy and feel so down with it 

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this is happening. How long have you been dating? How old is he? Do you live together?  Do you both work? Live with parents or have your own place?  Do either of you have issues with drinking or drugs?

Unfortunately he doesn't seem to want to be in an exclusive relationship. He seems to just come around like an alley cat when it's convenient. 

Please see a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health and get some tests done especially STD testing. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. 

He doesn't seem like BF material or that he even cares. Reflect if you would be better off without the headaches and heartaches of someone who just comes around here and there,  on and off then spends the rest his time and money chasing women. 

[MissCanuck]

7 hours ago, Michaelac said:

I’m staying coz I love him

What exactly is your definition of love? 

[HeartGoesOn]

No offense, but you've given him the message that he can continue with his reckless behaviour, and return anytime he wants to.  He knows you'll be there with open arms where he can hang his hat and stay for a while.

You're better off by raising your standards while having enough self respect to walk away.  My guess is he'll have much more respect for you while learning a tough lesson....Hopefully!

[shouldhavelearned]

Leave him

Go NC

 

Work on yourself 

[Michaelac]

Yes I agree he needs a lesson of me walking for good and realising what he’s lost yes to say I love him is crazy I don’t know why he’s treats me like crap and has always done and your right I’m always there waiting, I think I’ve got my answer to walk away for good my mental health is suffering. 

[MissCanuck]

13 minutes ago, Michaelac said:

he needs a lesson of me walking for good and realising what he’s lost

He doesn't care enough about you for your lesson to have any effect on him whatsoever. 

This is what you are not getting, harsh as it may seem. You walking away won't be any skin off his back - but it will be great for you. 

[Capricorn3]

13 minutes ago, Michaelac said:

 I don’t know why he’s treats me like crap and has always done

He treats you like crap because you allow it.  Think about it.

[Michaelac]

I don’t mean a lesson as he will care a lesson he will one day realise what he’s lost no one else will put up with his crap no way 

[LINDA]

Wow! Am curious why u even love this man ?

[Wiseman2]

Just now, Michaelac said:

 he will one day realise what he’s lost no one else will put up with his crap no way 

Please delete and block him on all your social media and messaging apps. Please don't try to fix or change sleazeballs. 

Please reconsider and reframe thinking that being the best doormat he ever had is a good thing. 

[Michaelac]

Yes agreed definitely a door mat and he’s got away with far too much he’s a good manipulator and a narcissist very good at what he does