What kind of a person was he atp

[Annannspaspan]

 

 

In the initial five months of our relationship, he exhibited a charming and appealing side of his personality. However, as time went on, a toxic pattern emerged. He became controlling in subtle ways, discouraging me from spending time with my friends and expecting constant companionship, even though my commitments as a law student made that impossible. He also engaged in negative conversations about my male friends.

His profound insecurities, which he refused to acknowledge, led me to shoulder the responsibility for his emotional well-being. I found myself cooking for him and fulfilling various domestic roles, akin to a traditional wife. He did seem to acknowledge and appreciate these efforts.

However, a significant downside emerged as well. He had a short fuse, easily becoming angered and quick to criticize not just others but also me over minor inconveniences.

After ending our relationship, I approached the breakup with kindness, expressing my feelings of being overwhelmed and weary. I conveyed my care and love for him, genuinely wishing him the best. However,

he began stalking me relentlessly on social media, bombarding me with calls from various phone numbers, and even intruding into my personal space by showing up uninvited at my home, despite my repeated pleas for him to respect my boundaries. He had emotional outbursts in public display that made me feel so bad. He didn't stop there tho, he extended his unwelcome advances to include my mother, by calling her.

 

Our past relationship was undoubtedly serious, but I couldn't endure this torment any longer. He end the contact once and for all (that's what I thought) saying how much I helped he, how he won't find a girl with morals like me , thanking me for teaching him thinks, and for not exploiting his "kindness" and congratulating my parents (lol) I thought it was really genuine.

 

Then, two months ago, an acquaintance of mine, who happened to be an influencer with an enticing online presence, chose to message him. My feelings were conflicted—I didn't want to reveal my lingering emotions, bc I used to think that i was being to harsh . However, when she initiated contact, he swiftly seized the opportunity.

 

Within just three hours, he professed his desire to marry her, extolling her as the most beautiful woman he'd ever met, and calling me "cheap" . He portrayed me as the 'naive' girl, despite his previous 24/7 declarations of how pretty and cute I was. All the cute names and stuff that seemed he meant them. He lied for his age and occupation to match hers (she was in her 30s), and he claimed a preference for older women, branding younger ones as troublesome and immature. I was 5 years younger than him (he was 25) . And he told me once how much he likes younger girls.He even had the audacity to label me as 'ugly,' a direct contradiction to his prior sayings lol.

 

All of this shook me to the core, forcing me to confront the stark reality that the man I thought I knew was a stranger beneath the surface. He shattered the image he'd cultivated of himself as a moral and honest man who prioritized deeper connections over physical during our time together. I was left with the unsettling realization of how easily he was swayed and how vulnerable I had been to get cheated on. Was that all a lie ? What he said about me ? What kind of a person is he at the end of the day. I don't get it...

 

 

 

 

 

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, Annannspaspan said:

I found myself cooking for him and fulfilling various domestic roles, akin to a traditional wife. 

Sorry this happened. How long were you dating? Unfortunately this is a classic abusive relationship. Initial charm, quick involvement, jealousy, possessiveness, isolation, extremist male-privilege attitudes, stalking, etc. 

Please read up on red flags for abusive relationships. It could help you avoid such relationships. 

Hopefully you have gotten a restraining order as well as deleted and blocked him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. 

Stay safe and don't isolate yourself from friends and family.

[Annannspaspan]

20 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. How long were you dating? Unfortunately this is a classic abusive relationship. Initial charm, quick involvement, jealousy, possessiveness, isolation, extremist male-privilege attitudes, stalking, etc. 

Please read up on red flags for abusive relationships. It could help you avoid such relationships. 

Hopefully you have gotten a restraining order as well as deleted and blocked him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. 

Stay safe and don't isolate yourself from friends and family.

Almost one year. Thank u so much

[Kwothe28]

54 minutes ago, Annannspaspan said:

He shattered the image he'd cultivated of himself as a moral and honest man who prioritized deeper connections over physical during our time together.

What? The guy was one move away from a looney bin and restraining order. He is terribly toxic individual that really doesnt care about yours and anybody else well being and he was being abusive toward you. Are you really surprised that kind of person wasnt what you thought he was?

Also, I am sorry, but you are 20 so you would have to learn this: some people lie to get what they want. The same way he told you how he likes younger girls, he is telling her how he likes older, how you are nothing special and that she is his dream woman. Again, its really no surprising thing to do from people like that. Liers and cheaters remain just that through life. Same with "trash talking". He trash talked your friend. Are you really surprised he did it to you after you broke up? That is why you need to "read" better to what kind of individuals you hang out. All this, from what you described, shouldnt confuse you in the slightest. Because you cant really expect better from a person like that.

[Coily]

He's the classic abuser type, charming enough for casual acquaintances to believe his deception. Glad you were able to escape from his clutches, not an easy thing to do.

And yes everything he told you was essentially a lie, use him as a lesson learned.

[tattoobunnie]

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.  It happens to the best of us.  Go easy on yourself, and take the time to work through it.  He tried, and failed, and you got out.  You did nothing wrong, but dated a bad apple.  No point in judging others by every single relationship a person has, nor judging you on the choices another person made.

Took me 5 years because I shoved what happened to me under a rug...so take the time to work through what happened to you.