valentines to ex

[piscean guy]

I sent a flower to my valentine today. She received the flowers and texted me to say thank you. I replied with "You're welcome. Did you like them?" Unfortunately, I never received a response from her even though she read the message. I asked her again if she was busy, but still no reply. I noticed that she had seen the message, which leaves me confused. I would appreciate your advice as I am not sure what is going on.

[Coily]

You did your diligence, now is the hard part is waiting. It's going to be uncomfortable, but waiting is all that's left. No more messages, just find something to distract you.

[bluecastle]

In your heading you refer to her as your ex, but in the text you call her "your valentine." Sadly she can't be both, so which is it? 

If you've broken up, I'd say the reason you're not hearing from her is because you're no longer in a relationship. I get the desire to change that with a grand gesture—and, hey, those moonshots have probably worked out on rare occasions—but at the end of the day you can't change another person's feelings this way.

Anyhow, just sit back and stay busy. If she's wanting to be in contact, she'll respond. And if she's not, I would take today as one to understand that this is not a relationship she wants to resuscitate. 

[Wiseman2]

22 minutes ago, piscean guy said:

 I am not sure what is going on.

Sorry this happened. Are you currently dating? 

[kctiger]

That’s a really sucky feeling. I take it you sent this to your ex? That’s typically not a good idea but I don’t know enough about your circumstances to have any context on how this went down. 

[piscean guy]

instead i sent her again another text

 

[kctiger]

How long were you two dating and why did you breakup? How long ago did you breakup? 

Regardless, I would highly encourage you to stop reaching out to her and give her a chance to respond on her own terms as she processes what this gesture meant. 

[piscean guy]

Just now, kctiger said:

How long were you two dating and why did you breakup? How long ago did you breakup? 

its about just right about 9mons but it seem though we've know for each other a long time. 

she broke up with me august then sept-dec our communication is sporadic but some awkwardness, i occasionally went to her house around that time. but what i was confused about is that when i am there as if nothing happened as if we didn't broke up 

jan - no contact whole month

feb till today.

[piscean guy]

17 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. Are you currently dating? 

no, i cant seem to get over her

[kctiger]

So you would show up at her house after she broke up with you? Did you show up uninvited or did she ask you over? Went NC from January until now then you bought her flowers while telling her your respect her boundaries. Do you see the issues in any of this? 

It takes more than a month to get over someone. Now that’s different for everyone, but the contact, the grand gestures, they simply do not work. Especially if she broke up with you. The best thing you can do is respect her decision and show the maturity of an adult. Walk away. Let her come back to you if it’s meant to be. I’m sorry man. I’ve been where your at and it’s a really awful feeling to have. But with the right mind frame and commitment, you’ll get over her. 

[boltnrun]

Please do not triple message someone. I'm sure she saw your other two messages and chose not to respond for whatever reason. 

If she wants to get in touch with you she will. If not, please don't contact her anymore. You don't want to harass her. 

[piscean guy]

1 minute ago, kctiger said:

So you would show up at her house after she broke up with you? Did you show up uninvited or did she ask you over? Went NC from January until now then you bought her flowers while telling her your respect her boundaries. Do you see the issues in any of this? 

since then I would never show up to her house uninvited. Some time she asked and sometimes I asked

[piscean guy]

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

Please do not triple message someone. I'm sure she saw your other two messages and chose not to respond for whatever reason. 

If she wants to get in touch with you she will. If not, please don't contact her anymore. You don't want to harass her. 

thank you should i just unsend the message. She still hasn't read the last message i sent to her

 

[kctiger]

I imagine all these feelings are exacerbated by Valentine’s Day. It is almost designed to make single people feel like crap. But the hell with that. Go do something for yourself. Get a good dinner, or treat yourself to some sugary food. Whatever floats your boat. Just leave her alone.  

[piscean guy]

1 minute ago, kctiger said:

I imagine all these feelings are exacerbated by Valentine’s Day. It is almost designed to make single people feel like crap. But the hell with that. Go do something for yourself. Get a good dinner, or treat yourself to some sugary food. Whatever floats your boat. Just leave her alone.  

about my last message should i just unsent it? she hasn't read it yet.

[kctiger]

Just now, piscean guy said:

about my last message should i just unsent it? she hasn't read it yet.

Yes, I would unsend it. 

[piscean guy]

Just now, kctiger said:

Yes, I would unsend it. 

or should i just leave it there, until she reads it. after that whatever the response will be take it from there

[Andrina]

Did she break up with you because she felt smothered by you? In reading about how you behave with her when you're not even a couple, I'm guessing this is the case.

What do you do as far as having a fulfilling life besides when you are dating or have a girlfriend? What's been your longest relationship? How old are you?

You're having trouble reading social cues. You lob the ball over the net and wait for it to come back. If it doesn't, move on to someone who will share an equal effort. If there is a delay, it means something came up and maybe they will have time to respond later, without any more nudging by you. You don't keep poking someone to give you what they don't want to give. That becomes annoying, and people run far from irritants. If you're experiencing a pattern in failed dating experiences, look within on what you should change for better outcomes.

P.S. No new woman will date you if you're paying attention to an ex. Staying friends is not in your best interest.

[piscean guy]

2 minutes ago, Andrina said:

Did she break up with you because she felt smothered by you? In reading about how you behave with her when you're not even a couple, I'm guessing this is the case.

What do you do as far as having a fulfilling life besides when you are dating or have a girlfriend? What's been your longest relationship? How old are you?

You're having trouble reading social cues. You lob the ball over the net and wait for it to come back. If it doesn't, move on to someone who will share an equal effort. If there is a delay, it means something came up and maybe they will have time to respond later, without any more nudging by you. You don't keep poking someone to give you what they don't want to give. That becomes annoying, and people run far from irritants. If you're experiencing a pattern in failed dating experiences, look within on what you should change for better outcomes.

P.S. No new woman will date you if you're paying attention to an ex. Staying friends is not in your best interest.

yes she broke up with me i'm not sure im not that needy of a guy. most of our conversation are through chat, will to go her place every 2 weeks and stayed for 3-5 days.

longest relationship about 6 years i am 34 and do motocross, outside activities

[boltnrun]

So you spend ten days or more each month at her place...but you two are supposed to be broken up? 

I guess I can understand why you're confused. 

When was the last time you stayed at her place?

[piscean guy]

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

So you spend ten days or more each month at her place...but you two are supposed to be broken up? 

I guess I can understand why you're confused. 

When was the last time you stayed at her place?

Thank you and yes exactly i am confused. december 2021 stayed there for 6 days before the christmas

[HeartGoesOn]

Multiple accounts...Closed.