Was this behaviour abusive or just "tough parenting"?

[greendots]

20 hours ago, Coily said:

This topic went from, okay the OP's mother may have given a spanking or two and a stern talk; to holy wow destruction of property, cutting hair, and such.

You need to draw a hard line here and not allow this woman near your developing family, unless it's under heavily controlled circumstances. This is not normal parenting, or behavior at all.

Agree with this 100%.

In the olden days it was common for parents to give a spanking or two when kids were rowdy because that's how many of our parents had been educated by theirs. What you went through is abuse. Unacceptable.

 

[tattoobunnie]

22 hours ago, abykann said:

this behaviour hasn't fully stopped

So she still treats you like a little girl?  

If a person is treating you the way you do not want to be treated, you let them know you won't accept it, and leave.  Not sure how old you are, or if you have kids, and were treating them like your mom did, or still live with you mom, but if you don't feel your mom is able to treat you well, then don't take it.

My mom use to hit me to discipline me until I turned 12, but unlike her, her mom beat her every day.  My point is, people can grow.  Different generations did different things for disciplining their children.  I use to hold it against her, but I have learned how to move on from that. 

And, you learn to figure out how you want to do things with your own kids, and just do it.  

No one can change the past.  But you can choose whatever you want in your present life.