How to be happy with what you have?

[Wiseman2]

On 12/12/2022 at 1:37 PM, Ironman3 said:

 trying to pay back my credit card and not buying things that I want but don't need.  

It's actually a very common problem. It used to be colloquially known as "shopaholic". It does create the issue of reward feedback to regulate emotions and some people suffer significant debt problems as a result. Perhaps a therapist could help you find the root causes and replace shopping with less financially detrimental rewards. It's similar to gambling or other compulsions to regulate emotions.

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, Ironman3 said:

Sometimes, I feel like I don't have anything to look forward to other than some phone or headset

Have you ever considered looking forward to seeing your portfolio/nest egg rise in value? I look forward to my daily exercise (which I think is unusual since it's really hard!) and then I look forward to the reward (coffee, breakfast, a shower). 

Find something that gives you the lift -maybe it's planning a travel adventure or a day time adventure or experience or tickets to something.  I know easier said than done.  

When my son was 6 an older boy on his school bus got him to trade one of his items -maybe a hot wheels card or pokemon card! -for cookies.  My son loved trading -trying to get something better etc.  My son was so upset because he realized the cookies were now "gone" -so the thrill of trading was short lived. I'd imagine that the shiny/new box also has a short-lived thrill.  

The bottle of wine example is different (for me it would be dark chocolate lol) - you look forward to consuming something delicious and in a relaxing environment after a long week.  That's only an issue in excess.  So the issue is not something to look forward to - so many of us love that -but the excess plus the frequency - it's finding something to look forward to that continue to have it's lookforwardto-ness even if it's "same old same old" and even if you don't up the frequency.  I do think the focus makes a difference because shiny and new stuff is great -in moderation -right?

[Lambert]

5 hours ago, Ironman3 said:

Sometimes, I feel like I don't have anything to look forward to other than some phone or headset. I have a lot of things going on and I have a life outside these things, don't get me wrong, but I don't look forward to those things.

Maybe look into Buddhist philosophy, specifically the concepts around living in the present and detachment from things.  

Just because you have a life, doesn't mean it's the one you are happy with.  I think a lot of people go through feeling a lot of "boredom" or "nothing to look forward to."  

A Zen proverb, I actually put on a post it, where I would see it often, comes to mind, "what is is always a gift"

You have nothing to look forward to?  What are you doing now?  Do you like that?  Does it make it happy? 

Work on your mindset.  Change your perspective.  

[Betterwithout]

Might be late to the party here, but I have a couple of tips for you that I use.

Use the "24 hour rule".  Put the items in the online shopping cart (or imaginary shopping cart) for 24 hours and give yourself the time to see if you really need to have that item(s).  You might find that the "want" wears off.  Determine whether it is a need or a want.

Drastic approach.  Block the credit card from yourself.  Then work on paying it off entirely, then cancel it and rely on interac only.

Less drastic approach:  Call the credit card company and ask for a reduced spending limit.  (example: estimate you spend $500 on essential things, food, car gas/maintenence, etc)  Ask CC company to change limit to $1,000 so you can't go over that amount.  (purchases will be declined)

Another idea is to set yourself financial goals for this discretionary money instead of spending it frivolously. 
Look at your total discretionary spending from 2022 (it will likely surprise you) and whatever that figure is, think of another place you can park the money instead.  Such as a 401K or online stock trading.  

Personal example of reworking your money spending....
I don't play the work pool lottery, I pack a lunch for work, I don't smoke and I don't drink.  
Financially that amounts to a savings of $208 + $2,080 + $2,500 + $1,500 per year.  
So, I instead use that $6,288 for savings/investing instead.  
These habits gave me wonderful gifts....I have 0 consumer debt, paid off car and house will be paid off in about 8 years.