here we go again..

[smiles21]

So, after about 2.5 weeks of NC. I saw her at the mall earlier in the week, she didn't see me i dont think. I was driving last night heading to one of the local clubs, and bam i see her car outside. Now i had a friend inside that bar, who never met the ex.

 

Said the club was really bad, only about 17 people total, really dead inside. I was trying to describe the EX and he said he might have seen her, with a guy.. holding onto him, kissing him. Now it might not have been her, but regardless its very odd of her to be out on a thursday night, she has class in the morning. Not to mention she had school all day, this is very not like her.

 

I know i shouldn't care, but it seems she changed so much. And if she is with someone it seems she got over our 2 year relationship pretty quickly.

 

As for the feelings i have, why do i still care about her even though she may be with someone else? (she might have just went out with her new "girl" friends, i dont know, making assumption). Why do i still want to know about her life? Why does it seem like our relationship was nothing, and she could have moved on so fast? I last sent her those text messages about 19 days ago. We had an argument about something, and i just couldn't take it anymore i needed NC. Mine were nasty, and i regret them. I said "Lose my number, i think its better we dont talk, have a nice life, its not my problem anymore etc". I really regret sending them, but i needed NC and couldn't take it anymore.

 

Maybe i expected her to realize what she lost, and call. But these new friends she made, work and school, some guys, have seemed to change her completely. She would have never went out on a thursday night, but i cant care, yet i do.. this is my problem. It seems like she moved on so fast, why cant I..

[punchy504]

it's not for you to say how long she should take to get over the relationship, she is doing what she needs to, and it is no longer any of your business, you should be concentrating on what you need to do to move on

[av82]

Who broke up with who...and why?

[TheSmilingTurnip]

It's natural for you to care. You're grieving your loss...and she's not taking time to grieve hers, which is a mistake. I know some people bounce back faster, but even so...alarm bells are ringing. So don't feel bad; it's not that she didn't value your 2 year relationship and it's not that she's OVER it already...she's not; she's probably just determined that she is going to move on. You can't get over a 2 yr relationship that fast. I mean, I was only dating my ex bf for 10 months and I do not wish to date yet because I am not ready.

 

Do your best to move on too. I know you miss her, but it ended for a reason and you can't go back now. You do need the NC, especially when you most wish it weren't so. Because that is what will help you move on.

[heloladies21]

I think everything you put in your texts was fine. She obviously didn't care about you very much and it's good that you got all of that out of your system. Your curiosity is normal too. As soon as you start thinking about her though, just think about how you were disrespected and how she never really cared about you. This should make you not want to know what's going on in her life. In the mean time stay busy and just start having normal conversations with other girls. Everything will be ok.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

I think everything you put in your texts was fine. She obviously didn't care about you very much and it's good that you got all of that out of your system. Your curiosity is normal too. As soon as you start thinking about her though, just think about how you were disrespected and how she never really cared about you. This should make you not want to know what's going on in her life. In the mean time stay busy and just start having normal conversations with other girls. Everything will be ok.

 

I agree...try getting angry instead of sad that she wasted your time and was nasty to you.

[smiles21]

thing is, she didn't waste my time and wasn't nasty to me all the time. The first year and a half was great, she was very loving and caring and i cant take that away from her. She just started to change when she met these new friends and started this new job at a convience store. She was working so much and was going to school, she was really just stressed out.

 

I think she wanted to just be free for awhile, we were fighting quite a bit towards the last few months.. but i thought it was normal, i guess i didn't see the warning signs. Also she may have started getting feelings for this kid at her work, as she was spending a lot of time there, and she hung out with him and a bunch of her and his friends 2 weeks after we broke up. I think she really missed having guy friends like she did before we started dating. I dont know, we just started arguing a lot about stupid stuff. Started to not apreciate eachother as well. I was having trouble finding a part time job while i attended college, lack of money, was a number of things. Sad when you think this might be there person i was gonna spend the rest of my life with. Yet, i shouldn't think that because she is young, 19, i'm 21 and young myself..

[TheSmilingTurnip]

If it was meant to be, you two will meet up again. You both are very young and that is a time of instability and growth. Emotionally, you're not fully formed yet. Your lives are not settled....you don't really know where you're going yet. I wish you luck and future joy.