Cutting a friend I grew up with

[sweetlady]

31 minutes ago, SherrySher said:

But you're not cousins.

This person has ben terrible to you more than once. Once should have been enough for you to cut her off for good.

As for people telling you about her, it's not difficult to cut them off and tell them you're not interested.

I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but if you truly want no drama and no more upset with this person, you need to actually cut them out of your life and not bring them back as soon as drama kicks back up again.

It does make me wonder why you keep going back after she has cut you down, and kicked you when you're down, so many times over.

There is no complications in that.

Block, delete, end of.

I think it's not her it's her children. I don't keep going back. We hadn't spoken for ages but obviously heard about the situation as it just went bad to worst. I'm think I did say to those people I can't deal the situation they understood. Now I don't mind hearing how the children are but her couldn't care a less.

Mostly I keep to myself she lives to close. I haven't responded to her today although tempted to say something but I know if I open that can of worms that's it she got her way in. Think she going to try use me as a weapon against her children father and someone she use to be friends with. 

I know so many people don't talk to her because they realized what she like. I won't either.

Thanks for your opinion 

 

[sweetlady]

36 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Not really. She congratulated you and shared news about her son. So a polite one line reply isn't anyone  "getting their way". 

You can shoot off the one line reply and then just delete it block her again. That way you're "getting your way" by discontinuing contact.

I might do this thanks 

[Batya33]

I think you have to show a ton more restraint and affirmatively tell people not to share info about her with you. Any info, any related info.  I have to do that in my life -actually both ways and I do. I had to just last week.  It's just about being an adult and avoiding drama.

[sweetlady]

On 4/24/2023 at 9:52 AM, Wiseman2 said:

Not really. She congratulated you and shared news about her son. So a polite one line reply isn't anyone  "getting their way". 

You can shoot off the one line reply and then just delete it block her again. That way you're "getting your way" by discontinuing contact.

So just quick update

I haven't responded at all. Even though I considered your suggestion. 

It's because she wants a reaction and right now so annoyed with her. 

She basically ignoring someone else responded to me but normally she wouldn't even bother with me. She normally close to the other person who tried contacting her. So she trying to get at her.

Then what I been told is both she and the father are just doing what they always done.

Plus when the father came to visit the children she was trying to stop her daughter going but she still went to meet her dad thank god. 

They argued on a video call to their son they haven't changed both still at war.

So I am distancing myself from even the father. 

Because at the point if I talk to her it won't be about our friendship. Or to be polite and say thanks or even clarify the information I received wasn't from the father. Although I should say no it wasn't from him. As she will attack him and use anything to stop him seeing the children and use whatever to have build a case. They both as bad as each other.

My only concern is I feel sorry for them children. 

So best I step away concentrate on my life and let her keep destroying hers. 

 

 

 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, sweetlady said:

I haven't responded at all. 

It's because she wants a reaction and right now so annoyed with her. 

Maybe it's time to delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

This way you can stop being so annoyed by contact from her. It's better than playing games or feeling resentful. 

[sweetlady]

On 4/28/2023 at 9:26 AM, Wiseman2 said:

Maybe it's time to delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

This way you can stop being so annoyed by contact from her. It's better than playing games or feeling resentful. 

I have distanced myself from the father of her children.

Yesterday I made a phone and no one knows about it. Finally I hope this situation get sorted.

I wasn't doing it to get her in trouble but had to do what is best for them all.

Now I am out of this I have done what I should have done many years ago..

 

 

[Wiseman2]

26 minutes ago, sweetlady said:

Yesterday I made a phone and no one knows about it. I wasn't doing it to get her in trouble but had to do what is best for them all

Did you report her anonymously to someone? It's best if you delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.  

[Batya33]

8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Did you report her anonymously to someone? It's best if you delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.  

What does that mean, you made a phone?

[Cherylyn]

On 4/24/2023 at 2:19 AM, sweetlady said:

I think it's not her it's her children. I don't keep going back. We hadn't spoken for ages but obviously heard about the situation as it just went bad to worst. I'm think I did say to those people I can't deal the situation they understood. Now I don't mind hearing how the children are but her couldn't care a less.

Mostly I keep to myself she lives to close. I haven't responded to her today although tempted to say something but I know if I open that can of worms that's it she got her way in. Think she going to try use me as a weapon against her children father and someone she use to be friends with. 

I know so many people don't talk to her because they realized what she like. I won't either.

Thanks for your opinion 

 

My opinion is this:  I don't like anyone who is off,  strange,  weird,  odd or doesn't follow conventional rapport when it comes to interacting with others in a respectful manner,  investing in the friendship with reciprocal behavior (not always monetarily either) nor participating in a consistent connection with me.  Sure,  we can pick up right where we left off if each person is extremely busy or we hadn't seen each other in awhile.  I get that.  What I'm referring to is this:  If we're going to just remain acquaintances in an indifferent friendship,  I don't want said person in my life because I can have that with complete strangers at the grocery store check out line. 

The closest people in my life behave accordingly.  It's an unspoken code filled with  common decency and common courtesy.  Anything short of common sense is not worth my time,  labor,  energy,  resources,  heart and soul.  It's an exercise in futility.  I'm better off going my own way in life by surrounding myself with high quality, extremely honorable people. 

I've had to weed out bad apples all my life.  I'm no longer naive and starry eyed regarding people.  I've been around the block a few times in this thing called life.  I've since developed a lot of street smarts along the way.  It's best to remain realistic.  It either works or it doesn't work. 

 

[sweetlady]

14 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Did you report her anonymously to someone? It's best if you delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.  

I probably will block her tbh.

I can't be a friend with someone who thinks it's okay to not be accountable for things they do and apologize. It's everyone else but you.

I did report her but to be malicious or nasty especially when they understood said your a good friend. I shouldn't be forced to intervene but I done it now. Good luck to her from now on. I didn't give my name but gave enough details for them to know I know her well. So they probably found it interesting what I said. 

Let's hope she soon realized her mistakes with everything.

The thing with me I sit back let people walk over me time and time again once I feel I had enough. You basically done for it I take action. I have so it's done.

 

 

[sweetlady]

14 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Did you report her anonymously to someone? It's best if you delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.  

Oh I have blocked her already.