D-Day

[manr]

Well the day i thought that would never happen happened today. The ex gf came out of the bllue and told me that she is dating someone else. It should not matter to me and and really i didnt want to know,. i have two feelings going 1 Angry. complete angry for her. other is depression. deep deep depression.

 

but theres nothing i can do ive gotten better over the weeks. but this kinda threw me through a loop. and i feel that i have backed tracked and the wprk that i have done seems like a waste.

 

God oh God why cant i forget about her. I want her off my mind os bad. I dont want to know she is alive.

[rionmccloud]

You have to accept things the way they are. That doesn't mean like it, but you have to accept it. I'm in the same boat Manr. My ex is dating the neighbor, and they're "In Love". Read my post in healing for the full story from yesterday and today.

 

It is a setback but you're not back to square one. Press on, friend. Liek I tell my toddler son when we're climbing stairs, look straight ahead and focus on what you're doing.

[heloladies21]

That's the problem No Contact solves. It helps you to move on because you don't know about what's going on in the ex's life. That's a really important step, but take it when you're ready. Just realize that cutting contact with your ex is the next step.

[manr]

ive found myself trying to nc. but no matter what i do i always seem to fail at it no matter what. am i not strong enough or just giving in to easy?

 

i want the nc so bad. im done with her hurting me and putting me through loops. time to move on for good.

[nix]

Its a sorry state we get ourselves into over these people that do nothing more for us than continually ruin our lives. I am getting the the point now where I am so angry with myself for letting him get to me that it is forcing me to get a grip and realise that i cant do anything about it except look after me.

 

I found out last week that my ex is engaged and engaged to our neighbour after being with her for all of 3 months! The thought makes me sick esp considering my ex tried to set her up with his brother last year and has always been adamant that he has no interest in her. Lies, lies lies! Our relationship of 5 years was quite obviously a total joke and I am so humiliated by it all but at the same time determined to rise above it.

 

What gets me is that shes been around all that time why havent they gotten together before now?! Desperation springs to mind!

 

NC definitely works if you dont still have mutual friends or live in the same town or have family connections etc etc. Fortunately I have managed to avoid him totally sice I left but a mutual friend of ours told me about the engagement. I would have found out sooner or later so at least I feel like someone has some respect for me he certainly doesnt.

 

Forgetting about someone you love isnt an option you have been to close to just to delete them from your mind. On the other hand they wont have forgotten about you either. You just have to try to be accepting of their behaviour, understand why you are no longer with that person and then look after you. Sounds easy? Its one of the hardests things you'll ever do but you'll be a better stronger person for it and be happier than you ever thougt possible. Stay strong and dont forget its all about you now.

[LostAngel]

Hi manr

 

I know exactly how you are feeling...

 

Don't know if youv'e read any of my posts...I was with my ex for 7 years, he broke up with me in June of 2004 but we had been on & off from then till now...(a year)

 

I have been in NC for about 1 month since I last spoke to him but just 2/3 weeks before this he was with me telling me how much he loves me & that he can't live without me.

 

Then while in NC in this past month ---I found out a few weeks ago that my ex was seen with someone new then I found out that they are now going out & its his new girlfriend. That means it wasn't even a month & he was with her after the last time he was me.

 

The worst part is that I had to hear all of this from other people.

 

 

 

 

I just don't get how they can just hurt us like this...as if we are nothing...

 

 

I hope you are hanging in there...

 

I have tried to build myself up again & tried to work on myself as much as possible... But when I too heard that he is going out with someone new ---IT DID SET ME BACK....But you just have to keep strong & keep doing things for you...Keep being the best you can be.

 

I'm Trying to heal as much as I can but 8 years is a long time to just get over someone ---Thats what is so hurtful about my ex ---It's as if I meant nothing & doesn't make sense how he could of just moved on so fast (not even a month).

 

 

Hangin there & Keep strong

 

 

 

LostAngel

[manr]

ty for the advise. i need to be strong i am a strong person i just know why im letting this person get to this much,

so many tihngs have happened to were i shouldnt have a problem moving on and totaly forgetting her. she has done so much to hurt me.

 

well summer is coming and maybe its going to be a fun one.

Once again ty all

[bittersweetly healed]

hi man r....i know how you feel too....and yes summer is coming and it can be a fun one if you make it fun! at first i saw this as "oh no! wat to do! no companion for the summer!" and then slowly i got more invited to go places...refused some, yes...but when u feel an ounce of motivation to get out n do something, go do it. i am taking my own advice. two of my friends are even takin me down the shore for my bday today. part of the grieving process is to take some time and feel it. not wallow in it, but allow yourself to feel it...after all, pain is just weakness leaving the body. im always here if any of you need me....my aim sn is profoundkissez...feel free to IM me, id like to talk.

[chai714]

Well the day i thought that would never happen happened today. The ex gf came out of the bllue and told me that she is dating someone else.

 

You can't tell me that you never expected your ex to date again, can you?

 

Sure, it's painful to hear that your ex (who you still have very strong feelings for) is dating someone. It's normal to have a negative reaction. Heloladies gave you good advice and I agree with him. Do not contact her. Also, don't keep up with her life. You will wear yourself down and you'll hinder yourself from being psychologically fit for the next person you date.

 

Stay away from her, and don't contact her. Also, do not accept contact from her, until you're healed. I can tell you from experience, that you won't take my advice. You'll learn on your own. Best of luck whatever you choose to do though. If you feel you can't handle the situation and it's becoming too overwhelming, don't hesitate to see a professional.