How to improve my "rep" in regard to girls?

[DaXMan]

I am a Junior in high school and I have not had a gf yet, not have I kissed a girl, etc. I feel my looks are decent (no Brad Pitt but not ugly at all either), my social status in my school is not bad (was Homecoming King twice) and I play a Varsity sport (so I am in shape).

 

My friend and I were talking about "reps" in high school. According to my friend, based on what he's heard from other people, here's what mine is:

 

-I am considered a "good guy"

-I am not much of a partier (not too wild - I don't do drugs, drink or smoke)

-I talk a lot (I do the morning announcements at my school so that can be part of it)

-I try too hard sometimes (like at track practice for example)

-I am naive and "innocent"

-I am perceived as being pretty smart (A little smarter than I actually am).

-I am not likely to let my emotions get to me

 

Alright - for the most part, I can see this so-called "rep" is pretty accurate. My friend also said that people can react to their "rep" in a good way or in a bad way - and in some cases, people can see it.

 

Is there anything I can do, based on this rep (showing how others view me) that can possibly help improve my chances with girls (other than "be yourself", which I bet I would hear)? I know there has to be something - remember, I am still in High School...

[SimoneTiger]

When you say that you've never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl... Have you ever asked a girl out? Regardless of your 'reputation,' you can't simply expect girls to flock to you. Recruiting a girlfriend is an active process that requires much effort! ;-)

[Stinkweed]

You're a junior right now, or you're becoming a junior? Cause I'm a junior right now (and I've got only a couple of days left of my junior year...), so it kinda sucks that I never got to date in high school. I mean, I won't go to prom, so I guess I'll miss out on that chance (there's only one prom, after all...). So, yeah, it sucks... I doubt I'll be able to get a date next year.

 

Anyway, just like the above poster said, it's not about reputation... Girls don't flock on guys unless they're Brad Pitt (who's got the looks, the money, and the fame, lol). So, unless you're a guy like that, you are the one who's gotta approach the girls. It's all a set of skills required... You need to maintain eye contact, drop those little hints through body language (touching, teasing, etc.). If the girl seems to like it, keep on doing it, cause you're on the right track. Check this link out:

link removed

 

I know that thing works. I haven't actually tried it, though... Haven't found a "candidate" (a girl I'm intereted in) plus, I'm not in the mood to try it either... But man, it makes so much sense. You should try to follow the advice in that article. It'll probably help you big time. Good luck and best wishes.

 

PS: Don't be too desperate to get a gf. It'll happen, trust me. Just be confident, try and do what the article says, but most important: Live your youth to the fullest, cause you're only young once... So, don't be sad b/c you don't have a gf...

[DaXMan]

When you say that you've never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl... Have you ever asked a girl out? Regardless of your 'reputation,' you can't simply expect girls to flock to you. Recruiting a girlfriend is an active process that requires much effort! ;-)

 

Yes, I have asked girls out...0-7 to be exact.

 

I admit I am a bit shy when approaching girls, but I do approach them. I didn't go to my Junior Prom, but I will go to my Sr. Prom next year. I'll read the link you provided Dead Eyes - hopefully it helps.

 

I feel I approach girls more than some of my friends do, but guess who has more success? (my friends). It's not that they really look better than me too nor do they flirt more often. Sometimes it seems I just don't "click" with any of the girls I try to flirt with. At our Homecoming Dance, I was the "Prince/King", but I didn't get to dance with one girl (the "Queen" was too drunk) while some hot girls just pluck my friends onto the dance floor with them...as I'm right next to them! Why them and not me? I don't know. This is part of my frustration here (regarding the "rep") - girls do seem to flock to quite a few guys in my school, including a few of my closer friends, even when I'm talking to them, but the girls almost ignore me.

 

Perhaps this has to do with my "rep", maybe it doesn't. But it may be a clue to the puzzle.

 

P.S. Dead Eyes - You still have a year left in High School (as do I) - you can get a gf. As the quote says, "It's not over till it's over." You still have one more year and anything can happen.

[mattj]

lol sounds pretty much like me, lol i get on well with girls and all but i am notorious for never having had a girlfriend - don't worry about i think it dosent matter till your older, all the experiences i have had in the area werent too good either- do what u feel i guess

[Stinkweed]

P.S. Dead Eyes - You still have a year left in High School (as do I) - you can get a gf. As the quote says, "It's not over till it's over." You still have one more year and anything can happen.

 

Yeh, I hope it does happen... I tried this year approaching girls, and I gotta say I've gotten a lot better at it... It still doesn't work, but it's because I didn't do the "flirting" too well... You know, I didn't really do the stuff the article says (stuff which I've seen others doing, and they seem to get all the girls they want...). But still... And yes, I know it's not over till it's over... But I've screwed up so many times (not only in the "girls" department...), that I dunno if next year is gonna be much different... I know there's gotta be a chance, cause I used to believe this year would be the same as my other 2 years in Highschool, but it was actually better, even though just before it started, I believed it was gonna be the same crap. Still not the year of my dreams, but I hope I can make next year be even better... I guess, I'm just gonna try my best not to screw up again... Good luck and best wishes.

[sirhcorg]

-I am considered a "good guy"

-I am not much of a partier (not too wild - I don't do drugs, drink or smoke)

-I talk a lot

-I am naive and "innocent"

-I am perceived as being pretty smart (A little smarter than I actually am).

-I am not likely to let my emotions get to me

 

Those are the same things people thought about me in high school. I didn't start asking girls out until junior year. Before then, I know girls were interested and wanted me to ask them out but I was blind and didn't realize until after. Junior year, I was interested in one girl and she liked me as well but we disconnected after awhile (though she had a boyfriend during the whole process). Senior year, I didn't really think about having a girlfriend. I had the feeling that I was going to college so why bother. I joined the track team for some fun. (Keep in mind that I'm the kind of person that flirts a lot but not on purpose) I was joking about stopping by a girls birthday get together with her friends who I was on the team with. She actually called me up and asked if I was coming (I was joking about showing up but when she called, I ended up going). I had a blast and she asked me if I wanted to hang out with them at her friends house. I went and she told me she liked me. I guess all her friends knew and everyone one on our team knew. After that, we started dating and the rest is history.

 

All in all, some relationships happen when you least expect it.

 

A year or two ago, I was a too nervous to ask girls out. Now, I don't really have a problem with it. I always thought that you would get made fun of and etc for asking someone out by your friends or by others but then I realize that girls are very nice about it. If you get shot down a few times, that's fine. There are other girls out there. You have nothing to lose from asking someone out. You might feel bad for a total of 5 minutes if they say no but if they say yes (and I'm sure there are many girls that will) it's all great.

[Your1Desire]

I think in this case it's about confidence.

 

I used to be the same. I though, hey I'm smart, good looking, good body, funny, considerate blah blah blah but it's not what you are that counts, it's how you feel about being what you are.

 

Walk with pride mate. Look at your "rep" and think to yourself, damn I'm pretty good. Better than my friends. I CAN get women easy being what I am, not I SHOULD get women easy being what I am.

 

You have to have the confidence mate. Walk with pride. Talk with pride. You know you're good so don't hold those feelings inside, let everyone else see them.

 

Women often react to guys based on the guys reflection of himself. If you think you're "the man" then they'll start beleiving it

 

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[Amannamederic]

heh sounds like from your rep, if thats true, you should be rolling in girls,

 

Props for keeping something that clean up all through highschool

 

-Eric

[ShySoul]

With the exception of the talking alot thing, that could describe me as well. Plus you've got the whole homecoming prince thing going for you too. How do you improve on a "rep" that is already great? Hate to break it to you, but your problem isn't that he need to better your reputation, its that you've got one thats too good for most people to handle, especially at your age. Your the guy that any girl would be lucky to be with and everyone knows it, but they are too afraid or too oblivous to notice. Best thing you can is just forget about "rep," forget about what others think, and continue being the great guy you are. Before you know it some lucky girl is going to see how special you are, be stunned that your not taken, and make all the other girls jealous by being with you.

[DaXMan]

Hmm. Hopefully, something like this is true, but it doesn't seem like the girls "look up" to me. It seems like they're not "into me" or they just go talk to other guys. As I may have said before, at my Homecoming Dance, girls came up to dance with my friends... and I was only right next to my friends when these events took place.

 

You can definitely be correct, but this situation still intrigues me.

 

Thanks for the advice - you definitely seem to know what you're talking about and you can be right on this. Maybe everything is done for a reason, and I'll really like that "special someone" when the time comes.

[ShySoul]

Girls aren't going to look up to you, simply because they haven't developed the sense yet to know they should. I know I always say girls are smarter then guys, and they are. But that doesn't mean they are perfect. The vast majority of girls at your age, and mines for that matter, tend to overlook whats right in front of them. It's something that time, age, and hopefully wisdom will set straight. Unfortunately, good people like you and me are the ones who suffer by waiting for everyone else to catch up. But in the end we'll be happy because the right girl will be there.