it gets harder and harder.....

[overit1607307174]

hi guys,

 

ive posted here a bit about my bf and I but havent exactly fully explained everything... so here goes:

 

my best friend worked with his best friend and after meeting his best friend online and he sent me a link to my bfs website (he makes movies and has a website for them) anyways after 7 months of watching these movies i decided to contact him and tell him how much i enjoyed his movies. we started talking online and met in person a week later. at the time i was seeing someone, but broke things off when him when he tried to pressure me into doing things with him.

 

anyways my bf and i have been inseperable since we met and talk everyday for a few hours. getting into this relationship i knew he had a medical condition that was causing him to have these weird attacks, but the doctors cant figure out what it is. well recently things have gotten pretty bad and he has these attacks at least once a day..... i have been there for him through all of this. ive sat there and watched him cry and ask why he cant be normal (that was quite possibly one of the hardest things ive ever had to do). well since things have gotten worse..... the docotrs are considering putting him in the hospital for a few days and monitoring him.....

 

everyday i am so scared that im going to get a call from the hospital saying that hes in a coma (he has a 1 in 10 chance of going into a coma with every attack he has). statistically he wont live to see the age of 26... and thats really tough to think about.... weve decided to get engaged after i finish high school (hes a year ahead of me so hes graduated).

 

my biggest fear in life is being with out him, and his is leaving me a widow and (possibly in time) a single mom......

 

i am absolutely in love with him and if i could i would take his place in a heart beat (he says he would never allow me to go through what he has to go through if he could help it).

 

so i guess im just wondering if anyone else is/ has gone through something similar or if anyone has any words of encouragement..... i have become an emotional wreck these past few weeks.......

 

 

 

btw sorry this is so long......

[MetallicAguy]

That is really depressing. Try to not think of the negative things that MIGHT happen to him and try to think of the POSITIVE things you two can achieve while he still has "time". It should help with the emotional wreck thing.

[Your1Desire]

And know that this is just another of lifes challenges. A very hard one at that which you've managed to handle so far and be brave throughout.

 

Fight for your happiness, don't let it get you down. Be strong for him so he can live the rest of his life knowing he makes you happy.

[overit1607307174]

he makes me soooo happy, and ive been the strongest i can be for him, its just, things r so hard having to watch him struggle to breathe, check his blood pressure 3 times a day, and wear a heart monitor and have docotrs ask him what he was doing to make his heart race, when actually all he was doing was sitting down....... (if that makes since)

 

weve both been looking forward to the future, and i think thats helped him a lot, but i know in the back of his mind, he wonders if he'll b alive to see his children. he wonders if he'll b able to make it through college or if he'll die before he gets there.

 

i love him with all my heart and i want to make him as happy as i possibly can. but thats so hard to do when i can hardly spend a day with him and i have hard time not crying becuase of everything hes going through....... i swear if that could b me instead of him id change that in a heart beat......

 

is there anyone else out there thats gone through this or is going through it that can offer any support