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HELP-My cousin says things to me and I'm feeling uncomfortable


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Hello, I'm new here but came rushing looking for help... I'm sorry if it sounds bad but I really need some advises.

I know most people would take it easy but I'm a really sensitive person and I can't handle stress when things like this happen. For context I rent an appartment with my sibblings and a cousin (he's a distant cousin, but we still have family in common and a very close one).

Yesterday I went with my him to play table tennis (we have been close for years now but to me he has always been like my family, we even call ourselves cousins from time to time). I started to him about an old relationship I had and that maybe I still liked that guy. He suddenly started to give me "advises" and asking me what would I do if that guy asked me again and I told him I would feel confused about it. Then...suddenly he asked me what would I do if he asked me out, if I would feel confused? I was startled, but decided to ignored it and take it as a joke; I told him using him as an example would not work since family is not the same as the person you like. He didn't say anything.

I then changed to topic to stuff that I wanted to have a pet but that it wouldn't be possible because the appartment didnt allow it, he told me "when both of us live together we can have one" and I was like... "well yeah, but with my sibblings too, they still have to say if they want it or not". I was really starting to feel uncomfortable, because I would never live together only with him, come on! we are family but if I have to choose I would obviously pick my sibblings or living alone.

Then when we were going back from the metro station I was talking with a friend via the phone how I would get myself a boyfriend this summer, and my cousin said "if you don't find one, here's me, its better than nothing..." and there I exploded and shouted to him "NOO, NEVER, NO IT'S NO" And he left me alone...

He still gave me a compliment when I went out with a dress, I mean I heard him but decided to ignore it...

I feel so bad, I mean... I like him as family but I feel so uncomfortable thinking a relative might like me romantically, I really don't want him to stop being my friend but I'm not sure if I did something wrong to make him believe I would give him a chance, I mean... I'm really happy and easygoing with him, I trust him a lot and sometimes I tell him personal stuff (like past relationships or things I really like), but we are family... nothing should be weird about that right?

Should I avoid him? should I stop telling him about my life so he stops feeling whatever the heck he feels about me? I know I should talk about it with him but it's making me sick even saying the word "liking" and "cousin" coming together. Should I lie to him and say I'm dating someone already?

 

Please consider I don't have relationship experience whatsoever, so this is a really difficult matter to me. If you can give an advise I would be incredible grateful!

 

 

 

 

 

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Just tell him the truth, that you don't like his comments that they make you feel uncomfortable. Girl being firm and putting your foot down was the right thing to do. 

Edited by smackie9
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3 minutes ago, CarolSits said:

Should I avoid him? should I stop telling him about my life so he stops feeling whatever the heck he feels about me?

Yes and yes.

You already told him no is a no. That's your boundary there. So stick to it and get away from that man as far as possible. Can you rent a place without him? Cause he sure gives the creeps. Yikes. If you live in the same place, lord knows if he takes a peak at you when you leave the shower, or does some other creepy stuff. 

If he ever brings this up again, you tell him you find this inappropriate and that he needs to stop or leave the apartment.

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8 minutes ago, CarolSits said:

I rent an appartment with my sibblings and a cousin .

 he asked me what would I do if he asked me out, if I would feel confused?. I was really starting to feel uncomfortable

Be very straight up and crystal clear with him that you don't want to date.

Tell him clearly that his advances are unwelcome.

Tell a trusted friend or family about it. Don't act like chums or roomies. Avoid him

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36 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

Yes and yes.

You already told him no is a no. That's your boundary there. So stick to it and get away from that man as far as possible. Can you rent a place without him? Cause he sure gives the creeps. Yikes. If you live in the same place, lord knows if he takes a peak at you when you leave the shower, or does some other creepy stuff. 

If he ever brings this up again, you tell him you find this inappropriate and that he needs to stop or leave the apartment.

I don't think I can rent a place without him, specially now that my sibblings are fond of him (and that I don't earn much money to pay a higher rent just for my sibblings and I). I don't think he does creepy stuff because he's not a bad guy...but it's still really uncomfortable. 
I'll totally follow your advise here and tell him that, with a threat of him leaving the house he might leave me alone.
Thank you so much for your fast reply! 

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35 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Be very straight up and crystal clear with him that you don't want to date.

Tell him clearly that his advances are unwelcome.

Tell a trusted friend or family about it. Don't act like chums or roomies. Avoid him

I think I might go and tell my sister about it, don't really want to make things uncomfortable for them but I'll follow your advises here.

Thanks for everything guys! I'm really grateful for your responses, it's really helping me a lot

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