Making good with her father

[brokenjerseyheart]

My story is a pretty long one that you can [link removed About Here . But to basicaly sum up I've been in a serious four year relationship with a girl up until the end of April. Literaly an hour up until a phone call that resulted in us splitting because of her having to spend the summer we were totaly perfect.. always talking and joking, telling how much we loved one another, always there for one another through thick and thin and planning a future with one another.

 

However, the reasons that she cited for the break up was that it felt like we were going in two different directions (she's a very busy motivated person and I'm much more go with the flow), that I would become defensive on certain topics (specificaly about me not having a job.. we're both full time college students, though) so that she felt she couldn't talk to me about certain things, and that she wanted space since we have been together since we were in High School.

 

Now I'm using this time apart to grow and become a better person but I still love her so much. I've gone to bars with friends, taken up hobbies, and everything else to keep my mind at ease but it's only temporary.

 

We've been NC for almost 3 weeks now and I am trying to become a better person for my own sake.. the first step is to become more responsible with money. You see, on Valentine's day she booked a trip for us. I paid my half of the plane and hotel but when we checked in we discovered that the bill was twice that what we accepted. I was broke after treating her to an expensive dinner so I couldnt foot the difference. She paid (through her father's credit card) and I havent had the money to pay her back. I get along well with her father.. when I would come over we would talk, joke around, and i'd help him out with things around the house (he's a widower who only recently remarried). However, when it comes to money he's very serious and keeps track of the who, what, where, when and why when it comes to spending. I know for a fact that he became increasingly concerned about my spending habits and lack of steady income which he would tell my ex. This bothered her, too, since many of her concerns arose from me not having a job and not doing much other than go to class.

 

At any rate, I have money now and intend on becoming more savy when it comes to finances. I want to prove this to the father by giving him the money owed from the trip. My question is how do I go about this? I am going to be in a play next week and was thinking of maybe inviting him t osee it then after the performance giving him the money.. I was thinking this could show him that I'm doing a lot with myself and I don't plan on just staying where I am in life. Should I instead just email him to see when's a good time for me to stop by the house and give it to him? I want to come accross as confidant and more mature but I dont want to seem cold. I was thinking of also telling him that I have nothing but love for his daughter and never intended on hurting her or putting doubt into her mind when it came to our relationship. Is that appropriate? Should I say more?

 

Any and all help would be greatly appreciated.

[heloladies21]

Don't invite him to your play, don't go visit him, and certainly don't mention anything about your ex. You can just mail him a check and that would be fine. You don't have anything more to prove to him but to keep your word.

 

And don't believe any of that garbage about why your ex broke up with you. You going to school and not having a job (which is actually smart) had nothing to do with it. She dumped you because she lost interest and she may not even know why. The real reason doesn't matter. Stay in NC and work on healing so you can find someone new.