Help. im stuck at this weird feeling of my ex

[yolo]

Recently my ex finds me to apologize for the improper breakup she did to us few years back. She mention to me that only recently she found out that she was wrong and wanted to apologize properly. We meet up and she told me that she was in really bad depression during those few years back. Only recently she feels like she's slightly healed from it . I was also impatient during that time and i ask her if she's okay if she were to give us both 2nd chance to get back together and to which i'm surprised that she said yes.

things was great at first, but i gradually realize that i need to meet up with her expectation, she asked me to change some of my behaviors that she didn't like and i agreed. At first things was going slow and steady, she asked if we're going too fast and which i replied a bit. She told me if we can go a bit slower in our relationship and i agreed. I tend to buy her stuff that she posted online, but she told she was happy and i bought her the stuff but she's happier if she buy it herself. Not denying the fact that i was really hurt when she said that. To one point in our relationship, she suddenly cried and doubt herself and said by giving us the 2nd change was worth it or not. She also told me that she cant reciprocate my feelings for her as i told her I'm deeply in love with her. She said i might be at 100% but she's only at 10%. She asked me if i can wait for her to be ready to love me fully and which i replied yes.

After that, few days gone pass and she gradually seems distance. She didn't message me as much and my gut feeling is telling me something is wrong. I meet her few days after and i tried to hold her hands but she seems distance and not happy. I asked her what's wrong and she said you remember the other we talked about giving us the 2nd chance was a good choice or not? i replied yes and she said she have an answer for that which explains her being distance from me
Few days after, we meet up and i told her that this few days I've been thinking a lot and i apologize for not being able to treating her better, and all i wish is for her to be happy and i hope to fix whichever problems that comes at us. Her reply was that she was happy during this few months that we're together. She enjoyed it but she apologies because she shouldn't have jump into a relationship with me if she wasn't ready and properly healed from her depression and anxiety. She was being honest to me that all she wanted that time was to experience love and the feeling of getting loved by somebody. Now that the feeling gradually lost, she said its better to end the relationship because mainly she's not ready and her gut feeling told her this is the best choice. 

Before we go, she told me not to wait for her anymore because after this she will properly move on and told me i deserve better. I replied her with i cant promise that, but i wish you the best and let God decide our fate. 

Please help, i need some advice and insight about this

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, yolo said:

Recently my ex finds me to apologize for the improper breakup she did to us few years back. I was also impatient during that time.  she told me not to wait for her anymore because after this she will properly move on.

Sorry this happened . What was the breakup about? Inpatient rehab?

Focus on your physical and mental health. She's bad news. 

Whenever an ex contacts you, it's for their own agenda often dressed up as an epiphany. Most likely she was dumped by someone and backtracking for attention.

Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

[Rose Mosse]

21 minutes ago, yolo said:

Please help, i need some advice and insight about this

All you can do is respect her wishes and move on. You both gave it a second try and it didn’t work. 

What issues or changes did she want you to change about yourself? 

[yolo]

31 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened . What was the breakup about? Inpatient rehab?

Focus on your physical and mental health. She's bad news. 

Whenever an ex contacts you, it's for their own agenda often dressed up as an epiphany. Most likely she was dumped by someone and backtracking for attention.

Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

  

30 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened . What was the breakup about? Inpatient rehab?

Focus on your physical and mental health. She's bad news. 

Whenever an ex contacts you, it's for their own agenda often dressed up as an epiphany. Most likely she was dumped by someone and backtracking for attention.

Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

From what i knew, she told me before she was suffering from mental depression and anxiety all these years. She wants to break up because she doubt herself giving us the 2nd chance was a good choice or not. I did my best to compromise in things she didn't like me to do but at the same time i don't feel she's giving me enough time to change. She wants things to happen instantly. She knew its her bad behavior and yet the worse case happened, the breakup.

My friends opinion to me was, she's just looking for someone to love her and somebody to love her back. She was never in love with me. Once the "Honeymoon Period" ended, she's not willing to give this relationship a go.

I'm still badly in love with her and couldn't let go. 

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, yolo said:

I'm still badly in love with her and couldn't let go. 

It's been over for a long long time. You need to move forward. Don't get stuck.

Why were you in inpatient treatment? Surely that had as much to do with the breakup as her poor mental health.

[yolo]

24 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

All you can do is respect her wishes and move on. You both gave it a second try and it didn’t work. 

What issues or changes did she want you to change about yourself? 

I know but deep inside my heart i wish things wouldn't end up like this. Before we get together again, we told each other we would communicate instead of bottling up our emotions like last time. We promise each other we wouldn't run away from problems and will face them together. But when this happened, im so dumbfounded at her. Her actions and the things she say doesn't match with the things she wanted. Which makes me think from the start, does she ever love me in the first place?
I was so mad at myself for not being able to be the perfect guy she wanted me to be. I tried my best to change and yet it doesn't seem to work. All this while, there's day where we're happy and after that it turns into a gloomy and serious talk. Its hard for me to even try making her happy because i need to think twice before i do anything for her and i still need to think a lot after i did something for her because I'm scared to make her unhappy.

Even now im still hoping that she would find me back. I know it wont happen but i cant deny my feelings for her is really strong.

[yolo]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It's been over for a long long time. You need to move forward. Don't get stuck.

Why were you in inpatient treatment? Surely that had as much to do with the breakup as her poor mental health.

Deep inside i know i need to move on. But at the same time i cant. Im still blaming myself for not trying my best. She seems to be happy and relief for letting go this relationship. She doesnt seem sad like me.

Not sure why but im kinda mad at her for not trying her best, i know its not right.

[Rose Mosse]

22 minutes ago, yolo said:

I know but deep inside my heart i wish things wouldn't end up like this. Before we get together again, we told each other we would communicate instead of bottling up our emotions like last time. We promise each other we wouldn't run away from problems and will face them together. But when this happened, im so dumbfounded at her. Her actions and the things she say doesn't match with the things she wanted. Which makes me think from the start, does she ever love me in the first place?
I was so mad at myself for not being able to be the perfect guy she wanted me to be. I tried my best to change and yet it doesn't seem to work. All this while, there's day where we're happy and after that it turns into a gloomy and serious talk. Its hard for me to even try making her happy because i need to think twice before i do anything for her and i still need to think a lot after i did something for her because I'm scared to make her unhappy.

Even now im still hoping that she would find me back. I know it wont happen but i cant deny my feelings for her is really strong.

This seems very one-sided. You are the one doing all the work and making changes while she judges you and keeps telling you to change. 

I’m sure she cared in her own way but this woman is not in love with you at all. Don’t keep jumping through these hoops and making the same mistakes. Keep moving forwards.

[yolo]

9 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

This seems very one-sided. You are the one doing all the work and making changes while she judges you and keeps telling you to change. 

I’m sure she cared in her own way but this woman is not in love with you at all. Don’t keep jumping through these hoops and making the same mistakes. Keep moving forwards.

Really? Im really sad, i thought it will be different this time. Seems like she's still the same person I knew back then. But when my friends say she's just using me for her own comfort, that isn't true right? I wanna believe the moment we have was genuine.

[Rose Mosse]

11 minutes ago, yolo said:

Really? Im really sad, i thought it will be different this time. Seems like she's still the same person I knew back then. But when my friends say she's just using me for her own comfort, that isn't true right? I wanna believe the moment we have was genuine.

Appreciate the past but I hope you slowly come to realize that all this is in the past and ended, long gone.

You seem to be contorted and haunted by past memories and questioning her intentions. Leave it alone and don’t do that. Cherish the memories but let go totally. This woman doesn’t want to be with you. 

Be in the present. Live here now. And look forward to your future. She’s not a part of that so stop going backwards.

 

[MissCanuck]

She tried again and realized she just doesn't have those feelings for you anymore. 

It's hurtful but there's nothing you can do about that. In time, it will sting less. You will realize she was not the right one for you either, because the right woman would not be saying goodbye. 

[yolo]

2 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

She tried again and realized she just doesn't have those feelings for you anymore. 

It's hurtful but there's nothing you can do about that. In time, it will sting less. You will realize she was not the right one for you either, because the right woman would not be saying goodbye. 

Yeah, the truth hurt so much. Deep down I still hope that we can work things out but the truth speaks everything out. I'm gonna try my best to forget about it. Thanks so much for the help. 

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, yolo said:

Deep inside i know i need to move on. 

Just put one foot in front of the other. Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women for a brief coffee. That will help you see that you can move forward with the right person.

[catfeeder]

If someone were to tell me that they were only 10% in with me, I'd be gone.

So the rest would be irrelevant.

Just because someone who dumped you is sorry for how they treated you, that doesn't automatically make them good relationship material today.

Some people are just messed up.

As a grown adult, you have the observation skills to recognize that. If you choose not to use those skills, well, look what happens.

I'm sorry you're hurting, but learning some discretion power could be a great outcome from this if you're willing to do that.

Head high. We all learn from living.

[yolo]

On 1/23/2022 at 7:18 AM, catfeeder said:

If someone were to tell me that they were only 10% in with me, I'd be gone.

So the rest would be irrelevant.

Just because someone who dumped you is sorry for how they treated you, that doesn't automatically make them good relationship material today.

Some people are just messed up.

As a grown adult, you have the observation skills to recognize that. If you choose not to use those skills, well, look what happens.

I'm sorry you're hurting, but learning some discretion power could be a great outcome from this if you're willing to do that.

Head high. We all learn from living.

Thank you soo much for the advice. Im still trying to forget about her. I should have known better that the things that happened to me is too good to be true. 

I know I'm lack of confidence in relationship. Maybe thats also why she left me for the 2nd time. Trying my best to change that.

[WildPump]

Yeah, well you are responsible for this situation before it gets messy leave it and move on.

[yolo]

Jst recently knew from my close friends that are friends with her, she recently posted a twitter status that said her longest relationship was with me but apparently I suck, she said. So for the 2nd time she said i still suck at relationship so its a goodbye,again.

[Wiseman2]

28 minutes ago, yolo said:

, she recently posted a twitter status that said her longest relationship was with me.

Talk to your doctors. Delete and block all unwanted and disturbing people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

[boltnrun]

7 hours ago, yolo said:

Jst recently knew from my close friends that are friends with her, she recently posted a twitter status that said her longest relationship was with me but apparently I suck, she said. So for the 2nd time she said i still suck at relationship so its a goodbye,again.

If these are supposed to be your friends, why are they deliberately telling you things they know will upset you?

Some "friends"!

I think you need better friends, not people who try to hurt you on purpose.