How to get past these feelings?

[robowar]

My ex of six months dumped me about a week ago, although I must say that knowing what I know now, I would have dumped her, so I can say that we both decided it was for the better. I have always been an irrationally jealous person and whenever my ex would talk about her exes, it would make me extremely jealous even though the rational part of me knew that it was part of the past. I guess what really cemented this jealousy for me was when she told me (when we were going out) that her previous bf was hotter than me.

 

Now that we've broken up, I still am left with feelings of jealousy and anger when I hear about other guys hitting on her, her looking at other guys, etc. even though I don't want to have her back. Rationally, I know that my relationship with her is a part of my past and that we should put it behind us; I should go my way and she should go hers. However, there's still this part of me that gets all riled up when I hear about her and other guys.

 

Can anyone tell me how I can rationalize this and make these feelings go away?

[DN]

Any girl who would tell you that her ex is hotter than you is not worth a second thought.

[WebChick]

Ditto to DN's reply....

Sounds like a flake.

[brokenpogostick]

if you were together for 6 months, i'm sure that you still have some sort of feelings for her - no matter how small they might be.

 

I agree with the above posters, that's ridiculous for her to tell you that her ex was hotter than you. what a biotch.

 

anyway, it will take you a while to get to a point where you just don't care what she does. it's tough though. just take everything in stride, remember that she hurt you & she doesn't deserve your attention - positive or negative. you're better than that.

[heloladies21]

It's hard to get over the anger. I'm still not over mine. It's either going to take opening a new chapter in your life (ie. new girlfriend who you're really interested in most likely) or a lot more time. Work on dating a lot. Try to hit on a ton of women.

[Falucchi]

Can anyone tell me how I can rationalize this and make these feelings go away?

 

Getting a life usually helps.

That is, go DO stuff that keeps you busy and engaged, rather than sort of sitting around thinking about everything.

if you feel angry- go learn to do karate or go to a gym, go boxing, go mountain biking and work it out of your system. Go beat the heck out of a punching bag.

[robowar]

In response to Falucchi, yes I do have a life, I get out of the house a lot and I'm involved with summer high school wrestling and weight lifting.

 

However, it's been a couple more weeks and when I hear that she was getting hit on by some guys at the movie theater or that she thinks emo boys are hot, I get a huge knot in my stomach and I feel so angry and I know it's not healthy because it's stressful. I guess what really makes me mad about it is because the reason she dumped me was because she didn't really feel as attracted to me as she wanted to be in a relationship, and she would always talk about how dressing in black and being emo was hot, but for me, that sort of style doesn't look good on me. I would prefer to wear normal clothes and not have to fit the "emo" stereotype because quite simply, I love life. So what upsets me is that she finds these guys attractive that are how I never was, so it's like a slap in the face to me, like grinding my face in the ground to make me feel inadequate.

 

I know that rationally, I have no reason to feel this way, but emotions are irrational. Please help me to not feel so lost when I hear her talk about other "emo" guys being hot. It makes me feel like such a failure.

[kazman32]

If someone told me my ex is hotter than me,I would say well why don't you go be with them?Goodbye!That is very tastless behavior,you don't need someone like that in your life.Move on and find someone better.Take care!