I hope I didn't lose my friend

[Hcnarb]

About a week ago I confessed my interest in a friend. Long story short, Prior to me confessing my feelings I was talking to him as someone else through a texting app to see how he really felt about the situation. He text me back on my own number and said he wasn't interested, he's moving soon and doesn't want to do long distance. I responded maturely and said okay no hard feelings. However my *** goes back to the texting app and ask him what would he do if a friend showed interest but you didn't feel the same. In that moment he text me and ask if this person has anything to do with me ”lol” (idk what's funny). I played dumb and denied til I died. He then said ”lol nothing”. I said what are you talking about. 7 minutes later he said taking things too far, over it. I played dumb again. Fast forward to yesterday, a week since the incident, I checked in and said told him I hope he enjoyed his trip and had safe travels over the weekend. And no response. I ***ed up and I miss my friend and want to make things right before he leaves. Sidenote: the whole weekend he's been looking at my snap chat story and never deleted me so I figured he's not that mad? Idk if this tidbit of information matters.

[Wiseman2]

51 minutes ago, Hcnarb said:

About a week ago I confessed my interest in a friend. I was talking to him as someone else through a texting app to see how he really felt about the situation. 

Have you met in person? Why did you catfish to get answers? Just say farewell and next time be yourself and don't "confess" it's awkward and ruins things.

[Rose Mosse]

3 hours ago, Hcnarb said:

About a week ago I confessed my interest in a friend. Long story short, Prior to me confessing my feelings I was talking to him as someone else through a texting app to see how he really felt about the situation. He text me back on my own number and said he wasn't interested, he's moving soon and doesn't want to do long distance. I responded maturely and said okay no hard feelings. However my *** goes back to the texting app and ask him what would he do if a friend showed interest but you didn't feel the same. In that moment he text me and ask if this person has anything to do with me ”lol” (idk what's funny). I played dumb and denied til I died. He then said ”lol nothing”. I said what are you talking about. 7 minutes later he said taking things too far, over it. I played dumb again. Fast forward to yesterday, a week since the incident, I checked in and said told him I hope he enjoyed his trip and had safe travels over the weekend. And no response. I ***ed up and I miss my friend and want to make things right before he leaves. Sidenote: the whole weekend he's been looking at my snap chat story and never deleted me so I figured he's not that mad? Idk if this tidbit of information matters.

I’m assuming you would have liked a long distance relationship and that confessing your feelings to someone is more common culturally in other parts than North America, Australia and Europe, for example. 

The way you did it was to try to hide your identity and in a round about way talking about yourself in the third person. In reality you didn’t confess anything because it wasn’t coming straight from you. Yet he knows it was you. All it’s shown is that you aren’t open enough to be honest and upfront and he isn’t interested.

You can’t force someone to want to be with you or be around you. In future don’t trick your friends.

Let things cool off and let him come to you in friendship. It’s unlikely he will if he knows you can’t control yourself or will play games like this. Don’t keep messaging him or pretending you’re someone else. 

[Hcnarb]

Thank you for your feedback. I just sent him this message and I'm leaving it at that. 

”I know you're probably mad at me, hate me and won't ever want to see or hear from me again but I want to apologize for my childish and unnecessary behavior this far. I hope you can forgive me and we can move past this with time. I consider you a real friend even though my actions have shown that I'm ***. I'm thankful for everything you've done and for being there for me. I really want to make things better and I promise to be mature and a great friend going forward if you allow me?”

[Rose Mosse]

Ok just leave it for now. 

He’s not the last man on earth. Try speaking with other friends also and make new friends. Your happiness does not hinge on this particular person. Remember that he is entitled to his own choices. 

[reinventmyself]

Had you pulled that stunt on me, I would consider you someone I couldn't trust.  His interest wasn't there to begin with.  I don't know how you can recover from this.  Consider this a lesson learned.

[MissCanuck]

Speaking honestly, I would be very put off if I found out a friend was attempting to catfish me online - for any reason. 

It would tell me that I cannot trust you and I would not be interested in keeping the friendship going. I realize you have now apologized, which is good, but it would be something that I personally could not overlook. I would just be too uncomfortable. 

Leave him be now. It doesn't sound like a friendship is a good idea anyway, considering you have feelings and he does not. It will only hurt you to be his friend but watch him date other girls. 

 

[Capricorn3]

4 hours ago, reinventmyself said:

Had you pulled that stunt on me, I would consider you someone I couldn't trust.  His interest wasn't there to begin with.  I don't know how you can recover from this.  Consider this a lesson learned.

^ Agreed.  Hopefully you learned from this not to play such immature games as it is extremely off-putting and certainly won't win you many friends.  I would say it's fairly clear he wasn't impressed and that's your cue to leave him be.