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Guy I am dating is suffering from ED and wants to be alone...


jah234
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15 hours ago, BecxyRex said:

it sounds like he met a new woman during the trip, but is too cowardly to tell you. The ED and all the other stories about relatives dying sound like lies to keep you off his back. If you sense that someone doesn’t want to be around you, step back. 

I’ve been stepped back. I’m only venting here. I have not reached out to him until he reached out to me. He doesn’t have a new women. A mutual friend of ours confirmed it. They said they haven’t seen him. They said he has been MIA.

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14 hours ago, Andrina said:

This relationship could have ended far sooner than it had, wasting less of your time, if you would've just let him fade away, which he clearly wanted to do.

You were the one feeding that train all the coal. Ever hear of letting a person make an equal effort to gauge their continuing interest or lack of it? You called and he didn't answer, so then you texted. It's like you're clueless about reading people's behavior and can't take a hint. As for him, cowards don't want to deal with drama if he has to do the breaking up, and hopes his poor behavior will make you do the deed so that it was your choice.

Although you have some self worth, since you're not willing to not take him back, but it does need to be padded quite a bit. Why do you think a man who gets drunk every weekend and spends a lot of money on narcotics is a prize to win over and be your life partner? Even with life stressors, which I doubt were even genuine though you never even questioned that, a person usually wants the support of their exclusive partner and would make time for a daily phone call. I know if I had to go out of town to handle family issues, hearing my partners voice and discussing my day would be something I'd look forward to.

Do yourself a favor in the future and give a guy a chance to give equal effort without you doing all the asking, calling, texting in duplicate and triplicate. And if he doesn't, there is no need to delve into the whys and go into deep discussions. You give it a mental deadline and if he doesn't come through, you simply say, "This relationship isn't working for me."

 

 

Ok I don’t think you read anything I have written. I never call him. Ever. Unless he calls me.  I don’t even text him unless he texts me first. I only called him and texted him on the one day we were supposed to meet up to make sure he wasn’t going to waste my time. I also said that he never stopped calling me. He still continued to call me every single day, multiple times a day. I spoke with him every night and received good morning texts every morning. That never changed since the day I met him. If he was trying to fade away his communication would have dwindled but it never did. We didn’t speak for a whole week because he said he needed time to himself. The only thing that changed in the past 3 weeks was us seeing each other. I didn’t need to get any hint because he wasn’t giving any. He said he was dealing with his anxiety and it is really bad right now. I don’t jump to conclusions especially since he had been consistent with everything else. He said he didn’t break it off with me he just needed his space to relax with his anxiety. As for the ED, I do believe that because he had issues when we were having sex so I had reason to believe that.
 

secondly, I never said that I was trying to be in a relationship with him. We were dating and getting to know each other. He was the one who asked to date exclusively and still maintained that up until yesterday for the reasons mentioned above. Despite his shortcomings, we had great conversation and time together. I can still have friends even if it doesn’t develop into a relationship. I never said I saw him as a life partner but I do care about him this my concern and disappointment in all of this. 

 

Edited by jah234
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35 minutes ago, jah234 said:

I’ve been stepped back. I’m only venting here. I have not reached out to him until he reached out to me. He doesn’t have a new women. A mutual friend of ours confirmed it. They said they haven’t seen him. They said he has been MIA.

Don't go on rumors and I would ask the mutual friend to stop mentioning him.  He may be hooking up with people or trying to pursue a particular woman.  All irrelevant.  

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27 minutes ago, jah234 said:

The only thing that changed in the past 3 weeks was us seeing each other.

That is the only relevant change.  He didn't want to see you anymore as of three weeks ago.  That is the kind of change that is highly relevant to dating which requires going on dates in person unless the person is out of town or has an emergency.

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46 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Don't go on rumors and I would ask the mutual friend to stop mentioning him.  He may be hooking up with people or trying to pursue a particular woman.  All irrelevant.  

People mentioning him doesn’t bother me. Me finding out that he is dating someone wise wouldn’t bother me either. My issue with this whole ordeal was lack of communication and not understanding what happened in the last few weeks. 

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46 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

That is the only relevant change.  He didn't want to see you anymore as of three weeks ago.  That is the kind of change that is highly relevant to dating which requires going on dates in person unless the person is out of town or has an emergency.

He said that wasn’t true and that he can’t go out because of his anxiety. Now whether he is lying about that is a different story but avoidance is a symptom of anxiety. only he knows if he is using that as an excuse. 
 

He says he wants to go out once he gets better but I’m not going to be waiting around for him nor did I promise him that I would be available whenever he got better. He has no choice but to reps or that just as much as I have no choice but to back off and let him handle his anxiety the way he knows how. I am not trying to purpose or reconcile with him romantically at all. 

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