Understanding11 Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 My boyfriend has been separated but still legally married for 4 years now. I've asked him about getting a divorce over the course of these 4 years and he always says it's an easy thing but he never did anything about it. This July he told me that he'd have the talk with her but he never did. He always says I'm going to call her and tell her and then the day ends and nothing ends up happening. He's had ample opportunity to have this talk and get the proceedings going. So today he talked to his wife who had been trying to obtain citizenship for a friend but the friend got denied so my boyfriend suggested to her that they divorce so that she could marry the friend and he could get citizenship that way. It took me a minute to realize what he said then it hit me and all kinds of emotions came flooding in. I realized that in the 4 years that we've been together that he could never have this conversation with her (even knowing my feelings) and now he finally decides to. He says the outcome is the same, that he killed 2 birds with 1 stone and that I'm being dramatic but it's actually VERY hurtful to me. I've been doubting our relationship for it's entirety but I didn't want to give up and now I think today is what I needed to hear to end it. Am I being too dramatic? Link to comment
LotusBlack Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 1 hour ago, Understanding11 said: It took me a minute to realize what he said then it hit me and all kinds of emotions came flooding in. I realized that in the 4 years that we've been together that he could never have this conversation with her (even knowing my feelings) and now he finally decides to. Firstly, I’m very sorry you’re going through this. Secondly, I’m a little confused as to what you’re referring to? You were hurt because it was so easy for him to discuss divorce with his wife when it mattered to her, but he just couldn’t be bothered doing so for you and your relationship when it was so important to you? Or are you implying that they also married out of convenience? 1 Link to comment
Understanding11 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Share Posted September 12, 2021 Thanks for your reply and yes I was hurt because he mentioned divorce solely with the purpose of helping his ex wife and her friend. He couldn't be bothered to mention it the whole time we've been together knowing how important it was to me. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 7 minutes ago, Understanding11 said: . He couldn't be bothered to mention it the whole time we've been together knowing how important it was to me. Being with a married man is usually the best route to headaches and heartaches. He is wholly uncommitted to you and you know this. Step way back from this. Your relationship is just a tug-of-war at this point nagging him to get divorced and him lying to you and being dismissive. He doesn't respect you because you don't respect yourself. This is not a quality man. 2 Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 Multiple accounts not allowed. Link to comment
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