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Hi I’m new here. So I have just found out my boyfriend is on cam sites which I’m ok with that’s fine but the problem is I managed to log into his account and realised he talks to them all, he adds them on all social media accounts including what’s app Snapchat Instagram and also on Skype. In the conversations he sends pictures of his bits, really grafic pictures then asks to add them on Skype for 1-1 shows.

I feel disgusted and totally betrayed! We have been together 4 year, had a baby split up then got back together we now live apart so don’t get to have sex much, but from the profile he has been on it for the last 10 years so it’s not a new thing. Is this cheating and how should I confront the situation. Please help.

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1 minute ago, Worriedgirl2 said:

Hi I’m new here. So I have just found out my boyfriend is on cam sites which I’m ok with that’s fine but the problem is I managed to log into his account and realised he talks to them all, he adds them on all social media accounts including what’s app Snapchat Instagram and also on Skype. In the conversations he sends pictures of his bits, really grafic pictures then asks to add them on Skype for 1-1 shows.

I feel disgusted and totally betrayed! We have been together 4 year, had a baby split up then got back together we now live apart so don’t get to have sex much, but from the profile he has been on it for the last 10 years so it’s not a new thing. Is this cheating and how should I confront the situation. Please help.

Sorry this is happening. It's great you ended it and live apart.

How do you know this and monitor this? 

Make sure you stop the on/off drama and stay with supportive family.

Also make sure you have court ordered regular child support for your child and court ordered custody/visitation schedules.

Don't "be ok" with this pretending to be the "cool GF", when it's unseemly and hurtful to you.

What you do need to do is get tested for STDs because what you found was the tip of the iceberg.

Also ask yourself if someone wasting his time and money on sex workers is someone you want to be around.

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Yup, I'd say that's a form of cheating.  The guy's got no respect.

He does not need to go to that extent!  imo, he's got some problems 😞 

You've broken up once, shoulda stayed that way.

I agree, glad you live apart... how about you back off this guy and leave him to his 'ways'.  Is all just a little extreme.

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I wouldn't bring it up, not right now. End it and keep your baby safe. Take care of your child and your own health. Get checked for STDs because you don't know if this was limited to online interaction (emotional cheating) or if he met up with them or had sex with anyone else while with you or while you were broken up. 

Talking about it with him will pull you into heated arguments, loss of trust/privacy issues as a couple, turn an already bad situation to worse. Of course he knows what he's doing is wrong if he's back together with you. You exposing him or spilling the beans won't change the situation or what's been happening (has already happened) for the past 10 years. Those are 10 years of dishonesty or lack of knowing/openness that you will never get back. It would give you about five seconds of anger release telling him what you know and then you will have to still face this person regarding custody arrangements or other details because you share a child. 

Keep working on distancing yourself from him emotionally and make it clear it's finished/over. He's still the baby's father so keep it civil. Don't have sex or sleep with him again for your own peace of mind and physical health. 

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