May she still has feelings for me, should I get her back?

[Mr. Sub]

Hi,

 

Recently we broke up after spending 2 yrs together. Things cool down over the last six months and she took the initiative and opened the door for her ex. They were together for 7 yrs before they called it quit. I took her into my arms when her ex let her down. However, couple months after we started she were still missing him and decided to end our relationship. Eventually she came back to me about a month later and we tried again. I have to admit that I didn't try 110% over the last six months, but my heart has been with her. I didn't express my feelings in the most effective way, and she gave herself and her ex another chance.

 

Once we talked after the break up and she finally realize my feelings for her but just lacking in communication. She cried while I had tears on my chin. I know she wants a fresh start with her ex at the moment. There is nothing I can do. She wants stay friends, which I know can put me in pain and give me false hopes. But I want to take the initiative and show her deep down inside my heart.

 

I will not just sit here and beg the chance to come. I want to move on and become a better person, maybe one day I can have another opportunity. What are you opinion? Is the reality to cruel for me to stay truth with my heart?

[Ms Omaniac]

wow...you must be in agony. im sooo sorry.

 

it sounds like she never got over her ex though. i think even if you proclaim your love to her...she will still pick him. she has the choice now to pick either one of you and she is choosing him. i believe this man might still have most of her heart.

 

but since she wants to stay friends with you..it sounds like she still has feelings for you. but you probably shouldnt stay in contact with her...that is too painful for you and not fair. you will be able to heal much faster with her not around.

 

also...she seems to always go back to you when things with her ex dont work out. that isnt fair to you. that must also do a number on your self-esteem and make you feel 2nd. you need to find someone that makes you feel like youre the only important person in their life. you deserve that.

 

i dont think your ex is a bad person. i just think she loves both of you guys but most of her heart still belongs to her ex. when she started dating you...you might have been the rebound guy for her. and the rebound guy usually makes you feel good about yourself because they are usually into you much unlike her ex. it's not fair though that she can go to you to feel good and you cant go to her.

 

- ivy

[WebChick]

Hey there...I am sorry to say it sounds like your ex is playing games with you. My opinion of course, but if she is involved with someone,

then why is she contacting you in the first place?

I would not worry about it too much, or put too much stock into it.

I am not trying to discourage you, because I know you are somewhat

disappointed, I am just trying to be realistic.

Use NC on her...that is the surest and fastest way to see how sincere her intentions really are. It's also the surest and fastest way for you to heal and move on in the process.

Good luck to you

[Hope75]

I'm sorry but it really sounds like your ex is very confused and you are not getting what you want from this relationship, she is pulling and pushing you every which way and it's not healthy and not condusive to moving on either.

 

Since you can't control how she feels, you need to go with what you can control, how you react to her and what you do from here.

 

I think the best thing for you is to leave her be and chalk it up to bad timing. Perhaps NC would be a good idea for you for awhile as well, to give you the time and space you need to move on with your life and heal.

 

Best of luck.

[Mr. Sub]

Thanks for all your thoughts.

 

It is silly that similar situation like this has had happened before in my life. My previous girlfriend abandoned me because she couldn't be with her boyfriend anymore. It hurt because she made excuses to push me away and basically tell me in the face that she was using me. But looking back I wasn't getting any true love afterall.

 

But my ex is different. Although she tried to back out (like my other girlfriend), I felt true love from her. I understand she has true love for her ex as well. But for the 2 yrs we were together I felt sole attention from her (maybe my perception was wrong).

 

Getting over her is difficult, but I am on my way.