Obsessing over past conversations

[Marshmellow12]

I literally replay conversations over and over in my head and obsess about dumb things I said. I even still obsess about conversations or embarrassing interactions that happened YEARS ago. I can’t make the thoughts stop. I feel like I always say stupid things and I also obsess about whether or not people like me. These thoughts take over me. I’m pretty quiet because I fear saying something stupid that I will replay in my head until the day I die. Any advice?

[Cherylyn]

I'm very similar to you. 

You can't undo the past.  Sure, you can have regrets and / or remorse.  All you can do is learn from your past mistakes, think before you speak and write or remain silent if you don't know what to say or write. 

In the future, you will be better prepared to say the right thing or remain quiet.  Think long and hard and you'll behave wisely from this day forward. 

Whatever you've done in the past was not all in vain.  Wisdom was gained which was your key takeaway.  Transform a negative experience into being more astute and shrewd in the future.  If I can do it, you can, too. 

Don't beat yourself up over this.  The other party isn't.  No sense losing sleep over the past.  Keep moving forward.  Be smarter!

[SooSad33]

2 hours ago, Marshmellow12 said:

I literally replay conversations over and over in my head and obsess about dumb things

Obsessing, not too good 😞 

But, all about what you've said?  Do you really think you are that bad?

We all regret some things we do or say.  I doubt you are that bad...

Maybe you need to try & stop the 'obssessing'... to accept all you've done is not all a bad thing.

Life is often about learning & accepting no one's perfect.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Marshmellow12 said:

I literally replay conversations over and over in my head and obsess about dumb things I said. I even still obsess about conversations or embarrassing interactions that happened YEARS ago. I can’t make the thoughts stop. I feel like I always say stupid things and I also obsess about whether or not people like me. These thoughts take over me. I’m pretty quiet because I fear saying something stupid that I will replay in my head until the day I die. Any advice?

Sorry this is happening. A physician can help you assess this and refer you to Cognative Behavioral Therapy.

There are medical as well as therapeutic interventions that could be helpful in breaking these cycles.

Ruminating and obsessing are symptoms you can get help for.

Cognative Behavioral Therapy challenges these cognative distortions and helps you understand self-defeating thoughts and behaviors.

 

[Rose Mosse]

CBT works. Big fan here. Daily practitioner. Trying, sometimes failing but it definitely works in breaking cycles and patterns of thinking and behaviours, especially ones that are destructive. I think the more you do it the more you'll also notice patterns in distortion in others and learn to avoid people, events, triggers that do not serve you (are destructive by nature). 

 

 

[Marshmellow12]

Thanks for the advice. I used to go to CBT for other things but stopped because it was literally costing me almost the same as my mortgage to keep it up.

[Wiseman2]

Go to a physician for an evaluation. Medical insurance covers a doctor's visit. 

Make sure you simply don't have too much time on your hands. Make sure you are engaging in productive and enjoyable pursuits.

Make sure your are engaging in fitness and self improvement.

[Lisa76]

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