Shy or extremely flirtacious?

[Caterina]

If you do not want to be the one to ask a guy out, how do you get him to ask you out? I am 80% sure this guy likes me but I think he is too shy. What do I do?

[ShySoul]

Talk to him and be around him a lot. Take an interest in what he's up to and ask him about himself. Just show interest in him and hopefully he'll get the hint and ask you.

 

And if all else fails, ask yourself. Why would you care if you are the one to ask him out? If you like him then you should be willing to take a chance and make the first move. Otherwise it could get into a long and frustrating game where neither person is to shy or afraid to ask the other out. Someone has to go for it or you'll never get anywhere. Why not you?

[p0w3RFuL]

ya i agree for the most part, but a girl asking a guy out is sorta weird to an extent.. If he isnt making a move after awhile and uve tryed ur best to let him know ur interested in him..then my advice is to bring up ur personal life, say ur not doing anything this week and ur really bored and nothing planned, this SHOULd get him to ask u out..if not i dunno whats wrong with him lol

 

To sum it up if ^^ is not straight forward.. Make sure u let him know info about your personal life, let him know ur single, and then say u have nothing to do on the weekend, and are really bored if he still isnt willing to ask u out on a date or w/e u should say 'wanna do sumthin this week to pass time?' if he reacts weird then ya i would say he isnt mature or he isnt experianced in dating girls..

[Caesium]

I agree on this.

[Shidoshi]

but a girl asking a guy out is sorta weird to an extent

It is absolutely not weird. I've had girls ask me out and I was actually flattered and wanted to get to know them because they were interested. I wasn't into ALL of them, but I found nothing wrong with being asked out.

I am 80% sure this guy likes me but I think he is too shy.

I'll advise you just like I would a guy. Just ask the dude out, chances are if he's shy he won't make a move. Believe me, you'll have plenty of opportunites to be asked out in the future, that's something most guys don't experience anyway. Stop worrying about the outcome and just take a chance. The more you "think" about it, the more "pressure" you place on yourself.

[blueangel]

What feels natural to YOU. Focus on that rather than conditioning yourself to his preferances or what you'd believe them to be.

[Desired1]

Just try and put urself in a situation that you will be able to find out. Ask ur friends 1 day if they want to play spin the bottle, truth or dare etc. It works

If that fails just be confident and ask him

[Caterina]

I definetly not going to ask him...I am not willing to take the risk of the slightest chance of my hunch being wrong. Altho I asked if he wanted to hang out at a movie with me and he said he didn't want to...but he has this thing where he doesn't like to spend money...altho, maybe my hunch is just completely wrong. See, he asked me out when we first met, but I didn't know him well enough and something came up so I didn't go out with him...now, I really like him, and he does flirt with me a lot A LOT, but never actually asks me out.

[ShyGuy444]

maybe he's not asking you out because he already did and you turned him down. So i think you have to tell him straight up how you feel for anything to happen

[ShySoul]

Ya, if he asked you once and you said no then he may be scared to ask you again figuring you'll turn him down again. Did he give a reason for not wanting to hang out at the movie?

 

I know how scary it is to ask someone out, hence the reason I never have. Do you know where that's gotten me? No dates, no relationships. Someone has to make the first move. If you ever want to get anywhere you have to be willing to take a risk. If it works out, that's great. If not, at least you tried. But if you don't say anything then you'll always have to wonder what if, and that wondering will drive you crazy.

[ShyGuy444]

shysoul,

 

You say all these things, but how come you've never taken the risk? c'mon man, it's a part of life, if you want something, you have to take a risk to get it....nothing is given to you, that's why you've never had a date in your life....sorry, but i'm just trying to help you out

[ShySoul]

ShyGuy444,

 

Thats ok that your saying that. And you were polite about it, unlike alot of people I've dealt with, so I'm more likely to listen to you. Plus the fact that its coming from another shysoul makes me listen to you more. It's not like I don't know this. That's why I'm so adament about what I say, because I don't want others to make the same mistakes I have in not taking a chance. I can't change what I failed to do in the past, but I can help others learn from my mistakes, spare them a little of the mess I've gone through in my life.

 

In my case it's more complicated then just taking a risk. I won't drag up all the messy details, but things and experiences in my life have made it exceedingly difficult to open up. So taking a risk and asking someone out isn't just asking them out, its exposing myself to places I can't stand to revisit. I know its no excuse, and I'm working on it. Add to that the fact that I've always been different, not thinking like most people or liking the same things as people my age... and opportunitites are rarely there to begin with. Only a handful of girls, 6, have ever had enough in common with me to even been remotely considered as potential relationships. And only one girl, just recently, has demonstrated any interest in me.

[Caterina]

Shysoul, don't worry, you will find the right one. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, I say. I am sure more girls were interested, they just didn't show it. And if you are shy, it makes it harder to know girls b/c you aren't meeting as many.

 

Anyways, partially why I won't ask him is that I am a bit unsure myself. If I think that he is sure about it, I will go for it, but even though there are feelings, both of us know it would take some work b/c of practical differences.