Advice for Step Parent

[RunningOnEmpty]

Ok,

 

Sorry but a long story, hoping someone out there has an idea of what to do.

 

Met my wife twelve and a half years ago, she had two adorable little girls. We got married. The girls were 3 and 1 when we married.

 

Since then there have been 9 documented (government involved) cases of child abuse and many family handled ther issues by my wife. The latest, her crack/cocaine addiction was the last straw and I'm divorcing her now.

 

The problem, I started divorcing her years ago when the first incidents of child abuse occurred. I found out that STEP PARENTS have no rights. So I stuck with it, and have tried to do right by the kids. We also have a child together a boy. The biological father of the girls is currently out of prison, but has had no contact with the girls in many years.

 

Now, DCF (Department of Children and Family Services) has temporarily granted me guardianship of the girls, but It's not a permanent solution.

 

I don't think I can do anything in court to help them during the divorce, and the girls are scared to death they will end up with Mom.

 

Is there any way to help them that doesn't involve me staying in this marriage?

 

Thanks,

[Ms Omaniac]

i wish i was an attorney and could tell you what you legally can and cannot do. i would think that the welfare of the child, being the caregiver of the child, your wife having serious issues that could endanger the child or having the children testify that they want to be with you should account for something....even if it's partial custody.

 

unfortunately, the only option i can think of besides seeing an attoreny is to document EVERYTHING...keep a journal on a daily basis and take pictures and video of instances.

 

you sound like a decent man...i hope you are able to get out of your marriage with your step-children.

[DN]

You have to get a lawyer to deal with this. Laws vary state to state and you really need good legal advice from someone well trained and expert in this field.

[kskm]

Laws vary state by state- but the one thing that stays consistantly the same is that if you have adopted them then you can legally get custody. I am not sure if you have yet adopted the two, but if you are still in your marriage you can still do it. It may delay your divorce a few months, but in the end you will be able- more then likely- to get custody of the children... especially with the Mother's condition. I also want to say thank the lord for people like you!!

[blueangel]

You cant exactly make the choice of who they live with but they certainly can.

[avman]

DN is right, you need to see an attorney that is experienced in matters like this. Technically unless you adopted the children you do not have any legal right to custody. However, if both the biological mother and father are not fit, you may be able to work something out with child protective services or see if the parents are willing to give up parental rights.

 

This is very complicated though so please seek professional advice.

[DN]

One thing that is to your advantage is that the girls are over 12 years old and usually judges will give more weight to their wishes than children under 12. But do get a lawyer. Even if the parents agree to give up parental rights, as avman mentions, there is a ton of legal work that has to be done and a good lawyer will know the process.

[RunningOnEmpty]

Thanks to everyone who posted.

 

I do have a lawyer for myself in the divorce but he feels the girls are just stuck.

 

I was told the girls could file for emancipation by someone else, and I have discussed the process with them. The end result of which is I have contacted DCf and they are appointing a Guardian ad Litem and lawyer to represent the girls wishes during the proceedings in the DCF case and are going to see if they can get a TPR (termination of parental rights) completed and have the children permanently placed with me.

 

Hope this all works out.

 

Thanks again.

[Someone6019a]

Forget what your first lawyer said and find another who will only answer the honest hope of victory.

[avman]

You can always find a lawyer who will tell you what you want to hear. What you need is a lawyer that will give you an honest opinion of what they think the merits and disadvantages of your case really are.

[Tigris]

I hope everything works out for you. You sound like a very caring man.

 

Good luck.