Oh my god my father is cheating on my mother??

[thejigsup]

I have a good friend whose husband cheats on her often. She doesn't really care because they have an otherwise good marriage. She gets annoyed when I confront her with his actions. She just says they are best friends and that he will never leave her and she will never leave him. It seems true. They go everywhere together and laugh together a lot. Her grown kids love him (he's their stepfather), the grandkids are always over their house, and he has stuck by her through cancer, hand-fed her when needed. It has made me think that there are worse things than having a husband that cheats. He could abuse or ignore you, or not support you. He does none of these things. To each their own, I guess.

[Taylor527]

If I was in your shoes I would confront the family friend. Why wait in 2 weeks of agony until your parents get back from their vacation?

 

Although I know you said you didn't want to - but I think you tell your mom what you saw - she has a right to know.

[george237]

I was just thinking about FDR and how he cheated on Eleanor. When he finally admitted the affair to his wife, he promised never to see the woman again. The Roosevelts' daughter eventually began to help her father meet up with the woman he loved. I don't think I'd be able to do that.QUOTE]

 

That's because she was a lesbian.

[Enigmatika]

if it does come down to him cheating on your mom i would say something. this is not something you ignore. i know id say something if i caught my dad cheating on my mom.

 

Been there and done that.

 

One way or the other it will come out...but your dad will most likely DENY the whole thing....LOL ...and blame you for "misinterpreting"... as did my father..

 

The nature of cheating is deceit and lies. Layers of it.

 

Nothing worse than being the last one to find out....your mom will be hurt like hell. It may even be the last straw for her for all you know...

....were it me...I'd want to know...Living a lie is worse.

 

You may want to drop the bomb on your dad Pre-Vacation....it will give him the time to come clean with mom....and her the time without family around to let him have it full blast.

[omgobserver]

It's extremely funny to read comments here. I knew as soon as you mentioned there is potential cheating but with it being between your father and mother then opinions on what to do with others would be a case of morals and personal experience.

 

For some reason the majority of people here are saying confirm what happened with the "family friend" but then do nothing basically. I think the reason they say that is because those of us wether we had 2 active parents or 1, step or full always wanted a "perfect" family like on a disney movie. They couldn't picture their parents splitting up and them being the cause.

 

Well wake up people I'm pretty sure if you were being cheated on by your partner or husband your parent(s) would tell you they wouldn't let you continue to waste your life blissfully unaware do the same and tell the truth You will not be the "bad guy" It is (in this case) your fathers fault for breaking that trust people should have to deal with their actions, don't let your mother lead a lie. As someone said before there could be plenty of issues you don't know about between your mother and father trust me as a parent myself now we can hide a * * * * load from our children and they'd be non the wiser just as I'm sure they don't know certain things about you.

 

Again the comments here really annoy me, I am a guy and I have an ex friend who constantly cheated on his wife, I was disgusted but still blinded by our friendship and said nothing. One day I asked him why he did it? He said " Even if I'm caught, she'd never leave me. She'd try to make it work for the kids or just let me keep doing it" I was disgusted. I told her the next day she told me she's known for years appreciates my honesty but she's never leaving him... because of the kids .

 

As long as some women are happy to put up with their cavemen another generation of cheating men will continue to rise with wifes/girlfriends too scared to break up the family, and friends and family members too scared to tell the victim they're living a lie while the other literally had/having their cake and eating it.*yawn*

[bulletproof]

I told her the next day she told me she's known for years appreciates my honesty but she's never leaving him... because of the kids .

 

I think this is why a lot of people advise not to tell- because some people do conduct their marriages this way, and sometimes interfering can cause more harm than good.

 

To the o.p., I just wanted to tell you that I have a friend who found herself in a very similar position to yours, although she was a bit younger when she found out her father was cheating on her mother. I forget how she found out; it was something extremely subtle that she picked up on. What she did was write her father a letter (even though they all lived in the same house at the time, she felt that she couldn't confront him face to face effectively) and told him that if he didn't tell her mom, she might have to. Her father did own up to it, did tell her mother, and now they are divorced and he is living with the woman he cheated with.

 

Regarding the other woman in all this... there's zero reason to confront her. It won't change anything and she is not particularly relevant to your life. The person you need to talk to is not the other woman or your mom, just your dad. At this stage, you just need some answers from him because you don't really know what happened.

[ecullena]

hi i am 22 year old and my father is constantly cheating on my mom i heard him too over on phone talking to another women he thaught i went with my mother and other 2 sister to a birthday party and as soon as he entered home my room door was open and i didnt went to say him hello he thought he is alone in home so he was talking to her with speaker on. and i was shocked what i heard. but he thought i didnt hear now he is acting really strange he is not bringing his salary at home. house is running on mine and my sister's salary and on my mom salary and he keep on taking loans from different ppl. please tell me whta should i do should i ask my grand pa to sit and talk to him? or should i tell my mom?

[annalisa84]

I'd definitely go and talk with the other woman as well. A confrontation is what she needs, so she'd never come to the house again. EVER. To come to the house of the woman who's husband is having an affair with you?! How disgusting!

 

I'd also talk with the father after they're back, cos it must be awful and so shameful for your father to see that you know about the affair.. I bet he'd think twice before doing it again.

 

I'd let him tell your mom. And then I'd tell the mom that you knew about it and you talked with the woman. Everyone needs someone to step up and protect them once in a while. You're mom will be hurt and even ashemed cos the children found out before, but.. at least she doesn't have to see that $#$#^ then!

[unknownme]

hi i am 22 year old and my father is constantly cheating on my mom i heard him too over on phone talking to another women he thaught i went with my mother and other 2 sister to a birthday party and as soon as he entered home my room door was open and i didnt went to say him hello he thought he is alone in home so he was talking to her with speaker on. and i was shocked what i heard. but he thought i didnt hear now he is acting really strange he is not bringing his salary at home. house is running on mine and my sister's salary and on my mom salary and he keep on taking loans from different ppl. please tell me whta should i do should i ask my grand pa to sit and talk to him? or should i tell my mom?

 

I suggest you sit and talk to your mother about this...(That's what I would do if I were in your shoes) Good Luck, and I'm sorry for what your going through..

[Blunt]

Don't say anything. It will be a big mistake. Let it go.