I am 14 and he is 19

[iN_LOVE14]

Hello.

Ok, this has been really hard on me lately and I need some advice. I've been crying a lot over this, and I need some help. Ok, I know this guy, he is 19. He graduated from high school last year. Right now he is in college.

His parents and my parents are really good friends. I can't explain this, but I have never felt that way towards anybody else. When I think of him, my mind goes crazy, and when I realize that he might not like me, I feel like my life is crashing. He is sweet, he likes dogs, and children. He is really nice, and loyal. I've talked to him a lot and each time I like him even more and more. He is a romantic and so am I. I don't know please help! Do you think 19 is way to old for a 14 year old. I am in ninth grade by the way.

[wlfpack81]

In my opinion 19 and 14 is too much of a gap right now. You're just what a fresh in HS going into your Soph yr I assume and this guy is in college surrounded by college women. If he wants to date a 14yr old girl as opposed to college girls then that would sound suspicious. Of course you're going to do what you want to anyways so I don't expect you to listen to my advice but I gave it since you asked for opinions anyways.

[iN_LOVE14]

I told my parents and they are ok with it, because they know him and his parents very well. Everyone in my fam is for it.. i don't know... help please!

[igor512]

Ah...I would like to point out, from personal experience, that being in college does not mean you are surrounded by college girls.

 

You both will get some snickers from friends, but if you know he's a trustworthy guy, try and ease into a relationship. Just make sure you aren't confusing a genuine liking for the man into a physical relationship.

[DN]

Have your parents given you any advice or rules to follow if you do go out with him?

[iN_LOVE14]

Yeah actually they have talked to me about it, and everything that could come up...

[DN]

Do you both belong to a church?

[iN_LOVE14]

Well we are not really religious, but I am baptized.

[DN]

Sorry about all the questions. has he shown any sort of romantic interest in you? By word or in any other way?

[iN_LOVE14]

Well I guess, because he looks at me all the time, and makes direct eye contact, and whenever we are at one place together, he tries to be wherever I am. Umm... well also actually we kissed once.. but he was drunk...

[DN]

To be honest, I think you would be playing with fire - 5 years is a big age gap in the teens. Be very careful and don't get your heart broken.

[Amannamederic]

i agree, kissing once when you are drunk isn't anything to go with. I had the same crush when i was like...12 on an 18 year old and we kissed once and ill be damned if she didn't forget about me the second she hit college.

 

You just gotta accept the fact that he's a little bit too old, college girls are an exciting breed and do you really wanna be hurt once he figures out that they'll do things you might not be comfortable with?

 

-Eric

[Mermaid]

Once you hit 20, people wouldn't think twice if you were dating someone five years older. But you're 14 and he's 19... that's not only illegal, it's just not right.

 

I totally understand where you're coming from. He's a sweet older boy and, likely, it was easy for you to develop a crush on him, because he feels familiar and your parents' connection makes him feel safe. In some years, the five years between you and him won't even count as an age gap. But right now, I'd be suspicious and wary of any 19-year-old showing interest in someone your age.

 

(Some years ago my friends and knew someone for whom the situation was reversed. She was 19, he was 13--we were all horrified and sickened.)

[nanaloree]

This guy is going to hurt you if anything comes of the relationship. I'm sure he thinks you are cute, or sexy....but he's leaving soon and reality is you are not going with him. Long distance realtionships rarely work for teenagers or adults! My advice, don't push this. You will only get hurt. It will pass. But it sure is cool knowing you can knock em dead at 19, huh?

[MyNinja]

not uncommon at all.

 

Give it some time because you're still very young and there will be plenty of guys you will come accross and maybe develop a crush on. I don't want to see you getting your heart ripped out of your chest, and trampled on. when i was a soph. in highschool. i developed a crush on the RA that was like 7 years older than me, but it quickly surpressed when i started to notice other guys. Don't worry about it too much. If this is what God wants of you believe me, you'll know!

[Mermaid]

i developed a crush on the RA that was like 7 years older than me

 

You, at 19, falling for someone who is 26 isn't a big deal. You, at 19, falling for someone who's 14, is.