Does she like me or not?

[DocZ]

Hey I thought I put this in the wrong section so here it is in the correct one.

 

 

Anyways to my problem... This a really long and complicated story so hang in there please!

Well where do I start. End of March my ex-gf broke up with me because I was treating her more like a friend rather than a gf, anyways thats not the point. Well I was feeling bad about the break up and it took about a month or so till i could get back on my feet again to go on with the normal life of looking for a new gf. Ever since I was getting support from a friend, who for the sake of confidentiality I will call Sarah.

Shortly after my break up and stance on getting a new gf, I gave up again because of my travel to Thailand for pretty much the entire summer. No point in getting a gf and letting her wait 3 months till i come back, I was like, lets wait till I get back.

The university in which I am going to has a campus in Thailand and in numerous other countries and we are offered free flights back and forth and easy set up for the program if we want to go to take a couple of courses there. Well Sarah and I have planned this since November of 2004 to go to Thailand. We both go to this same university and will be leaving in about a week.

Anyhow, now comes the confusing and complicated part. Sarah doesn't talk. Don't get the wrong idea, she is not dumb or anything. She can also hear fine. In fact she talks ONLY with her parents. She seems to have this psychological problem and hasn't ever talked to anyone since she first learned how to speak, except again, to her parents. So I have never heard her voice and yeah probably never will. So it is rather hard to communicate with her in terms of flirting and the dating topic. When I usually am talking with her, she has her mobile phone with her and she types up an answer or messages very fast. Or when she asks me something she does it with the messages on her phone and she just shows what she typed up to me. Its rather easy for her.

The point here is that I don't want to try and make her speak to me, thats not the point. I like her just the way she is and if she learns to overcome this problem and starts speaking with me, then thats cool. Anyways as of late, like since about two weeks I have been getting really strange signs. Just also to remind everyone, I am her "friend" and that for about 8 months now. You know how girls always categorize guys; once they are friends, they stay that most of the time and nothing more. Well in this case I am not tooo sure, i have always been interested in her, but I thought she was too good looking for me, you know not on the same level. Anyways people, in fact 3 good friends of mine have been telling that while we have all been going out, they have noticed that she has been looking at me more than normal or than she usually does. That it seems abnormal to them; that she could possibly be interested in me. Once my friends started telling me this, i have also myself been noticing some looks and just her nicer attitude towards me. And whenever i am talking with some girl on the phone or talking about a girl to another friend and she is around she always asks me who it was, who this girl is, which she never did since 2 or 3 weeks.

I talk to her on MSN most of the time and flirt with her online mostly since its easier for her, but its nothing compared to face to face flirting, but of course, she doesnt talk, so I cant get back the same response from her. I don't know if I, myself and my friends are witnessing a psychological effect or not, the fact that she is going to Thailand with me alone might give a more than what is really happening perception. Also possibly that I would really love it to be true, I might also see or feel things that may not really be there and I am making all this up to myself or making myself believe it. I am sure you guys understand what I mean, well some of you. haha

 

To summarize, I think, I am slowly about to get a crush on a girl I have been friends with for 8 months who doesn't talk to anyone but her parents and is possibly or possibly not showing signs of interest for me or she might just think that since her and I will be living together in a bungalow for 9 weeks at the university campus in Thailand, she thought it might be better to act nicer so not many problems arise between us there and I might not drop her off somewhere in Bangkok if i get angry at her. She would be lost, since she cant talk. haha, i know that is mean, sry..

 

So my question to you all is, how do I really find out whether she likes me or not by not directly asking her, which might then possibly ruin the entire Thailand trip which has been fully paid for and there is no cancellation possible? Do I wait it out and see what happens in Thailand? (Oh i didnt mention that. We chatted online once and I was askin her once why she is soo nice to me all of a sudden and she said you will see in Thailand. This of course could mean anything, it could mean that what I want it to mean, hmmm, grr.) Cause waiting 8 weeks can be a long time and waiting could just make it all worse... I am really stuck on this one and I know this is a rare situation since its hard to really have a conversation with her face to face. I am dazed and confused. Help me please

 

Your friend,

DocZ

[Alabama]

If you've noticed eye contact already, then that's a start. Some more signs would be blushing or nervous speech, but since you said she doesn't talk much, than this is irrelevant. I would wait until after the trip, because if it doesn't turn out she likes you, then things could be akward and you're right that could ruin the trip. 8 weeks is a long time to wait, but you'll endure, I'm sure. Good luck!

[smallworld]

DocZ, I PM'd you an essay. But here's my suggestion:

 

If you're willing to risk it (and she seems worth the risk) ask Sarah sometime for some love advice. Tell her you've fallen for a girl, but she's extremely shy and you don't know how she feels about you. Ask her how you should approach her. See what she says. Then do it!!!

[DocZ]

thx so far for replies.. i am working on it.. slowly... more help would be appreciated!

[DocZ]

Ok I will explain what has happened lately in my situation.

 

Our Uni term officially ended last friday, but Sarah had some work she had to do which she is able to turn in tmrw, so she has been rather busy this last weekend. Anyways, I have been flirting with her online quite often, giving her signals; even sending messages on the phone all the time. The problem is that she is very reluctant about showing her emotions, she goes to therapy about her problem and even told me that her therapist said that she usually always jokes around or is not serious when people talk about feelings to her. So this is a really awkward situation. Anyways, since she was soo busy, I got the shock of my life thinking of course, oh it DEFINITELY has to do with me, she has found out and is trying to stay away.

Well yesteday night as two friends of mine and I were walking down a main shopping street, we crossed paths with Sarah and her mom. Her mom kept saying that she should stay with us to hang out and stuff, but Sarah always shook her head and hinted she wanted to stay with her mother. (She doesnt talk, remember) Anyways that hit me hard cause I thought she new about my interest and wasnt interested herself and was uncomfortable about hanging out.

Well this morning when I woke up I had received a new msg from Sarah saying that she wanted to spend time with her mom before she left to thailand and stuff and said she was sry about yesterday.. I sent her a short abrupt answers cause I just had woken up and was still tired and she misunderstood it.. Sayin like "oH dont act like my "ex bf," its not as if I didnt want to hang out because of you or anyone else." So we sent msgs back and forth 5 or 6 times and ended up flirting again.. It settled down again, sitaution is calm now.. WE shall see again how it goes on.

Thats the update so far...

[huszar]

Ask her and talk to her about it, of course don't be like overbearing or you'll look creepy.

 

Worst thing that can happen is she doesn't like you back. If she DOES like you then she'll want something. And then you wouldn't be wasting your time wondering. It's hard to be straightforward, but once you have any success using this method you'll never lose faith. Beating around the bush just increases the stress, ya know?

[DocZ]

Ask her and talk to her about it, of course don't be like overbearing or you'll look creepy.

 

Worst thing that can happen is she doesn't like you back. If she DOES like you then she'll want something. And then you wouldn't be wasting your time wondering. It's hard to be straightforward, but once you have any success using this method you'll never lose faith. Beating around the bush just increases the stress, ya know?

 

Well the worst thing will not be her not liking me back, it will be spending 9 weeks with someone who will be freaked out about me and we will be living in a bungalow together. That would be freaky for her and depressing for me! So if I pull of this method I would sometime during the middle of the trip, but I want to make sure everything runs smoothly. I want obvious signals so I dont ruin anything. I can get over someone if I have to!

[DocZ]

Well I confronted Sarah about my feelings and I am pretty confident.. She at first said she wasnt interested to date a friend because of the risk of losing that friendship if we were ever to break up and those around us, thats the only argument she put up against me. If she really werent interested she could have made up other stuff, or she is just being nice.. hmm anyways she ended the whole thing with "I dont know yet, let us see what happens" This could mean anything...

 

Anyone care to share what they think this could mean??