In the hospital, got dumped right after leg surgery, in severe pain, alone

[bumblebee]

Well despite the aforementioned, he's very intelligent, charming and good with words. So someone inexperienced who hasn't interacted with him before could find him intriguing initially before he reveals his flaws.

[saluk]

" Thank you, Cat. It will still take a while for me to get over the break-up, I have his words ruminating in my head, him saying it'd be easier for him to date someone else short term. I'm thinking, since I broke my leg, I became a bit more clingy and he pulled away, so I'm guessing he befriended a girl who sang to his tune and told him what he needed to hear. Then he dumped me because she got into his head. And I feel lost, I feel like I wasn't good enough, I wasn't wild or exciting enough, I was all too predictable. It's hard to maintain a sense of self worth but I'm doing all I can and hopefully when I don't have to take as much morphine for the pain which makes me feel sick and sleepy most of the day, things will very slowly start to go back to normal. "

 

Noooo. He dumped you because he was always going to dump you. Because he never wanted to date long term. He's not capable of it. Someone not seeing your worth doesn't make you unworthy. I don't like picasso, but his paintings are still worth hundreds of millions of dollars. *everyone* gets predictable in a relationship at times. *everyone* becomes clingy at times. The right man will weather those storms, just as you weather the storms when he gets clingy or predictable.

 

He's broken up with you for the same reason 3 times. Time to believe that reason and realize he's not a good match. It may have been rough timing for him to break up with you right when your leg broke, but on the positive side you can finally stop wondering "will he ever stay" and start focusing on *you* again.

[bumblebee]

Thanks, saluk, for the wake-up call. He is currently incapable of dating people long term in general, he's had that issue in his past relatiinships also, getting too close scares him and he runs away. I don't understand why he came back to me twice to work on things, expressing love and willingness for commitment, visibly getting closer and then always giving the same excuse. I don't get why he'd go for me repeatedly if I'm just not long term dating material.

[No1]

The question is not "why does he keep coming back?" The question you should ask is "why do I let him come back?" Rather than trying to figure him out, look within you and dig deep into your own truths.

Sometimes we look outward to what others are doing to distract us from looking inward. Trying to figure him out is really a waste of energy because it just doesn't matter. Just accept that he is a jerk and you are not meant to be with him. He has had 3 chances and he has blown it so what makes you think a 4th would be better? I have never found that spoiled milk gets better if you put it back in the fridge.

Use this time to find your truths. Admit faults and admit defeat. Admit mistakes were made and learn from them.