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bumblebee

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  1. I was stupid, I agree, it's hard when you're head over heels with someone sometimes, no matter how rational you are, and although I see what it was like now, I didn't at the time
  2. I think the reason why I fell for this was because he had a way with words where he could talk you into anything, glib and very socially proficient to get his needs met. I read a lot about covert narcissism and he fits that so well. He was good at talking me into a dream of us living together, working, building a life, talking that he would move here, at certain points talking about marriage even, I think because I was the three year rebound he escalated the intensity of the relationship super fast from the get go, and I fell for it. And about your other question, my friends knew, my family didn't, but unless things get super serious i don't talk to my family about it as a principle. I didn't introduce him to my friends because when we spent time together we wanted to just be together, I was talking to a friend today about his last trip here in October and I came to the realization that he was probably texting her while he was here, and that the cheating had begun prior and suddenly all the good times we had that time got invalidated since it was all a lie. I wish I'd introduced him to my best friends, they would've bern able to read his character and make me aware. Next time I date someone I will bring friends in early.
  3. I think when i started this thread i was super sad thinking how inferior i was and having a sad pity party but now all I have left for him is contempt after talking to many friends and posting here and listening to podcasts and such. So i'm done crying, not gonna waste a single tear on him anymore.
  4. Do you ever hope someone will reach out just to tell them to *** off? That's me when I'm angry
  5. I don't think it's fair to say that I manipulated him into staying. He stayed because it wad convenient for him at the time before he decided to pursue his ex behind my back. I do have abandonment issues, so I recognize that. And there was certainly a power imbalance in the relationship, but I certainly did not manipulate him.
  6. I have removed him everywhere, deleted his number, all the conversation history because after the awful things he said to me I couldn't re-read them any longer. This breach of trust was unforgivable and reconciliation is off the table.
  7. I think while my self esteem is low I've liked giving in all my relationships, and this is my only dysfunctional one so far.
  8. Yes, just keeping his ex in his life at all before he even cheated shows me that he never respected me enough. I put up with too much.
  9. I'm willing to put money on it that if/when things fall apart with her he'll be in my DMs again
  10. Yes agree. Heck, he dumped her to be with me and framed it to me at the time that it was just casual and it was mutual, which was complete bull***, she probably was dumped and felt blindsided. Every time things get difficult, he pursues someone else it seems, which is why I'm thinking he will do it again with her and repeat the cycle.
  11. I'm sure he did a lot more that I don't know about. I think he has a history of monkey branching in relationships because he can't be alone. And yeah, it was not a lot, but the crazy thing is we had been looking at houses to move in together for weeks, and he seemed very happy with the idea. Think last time we did was two days before he dumped me. Surreal.
  12. I'm not sure because his pattern is he reconnects with people he has history with because they're easier to lure in. And to my knowledge this ex was the only one that hasn't burned bridges with him. But he may have other options I don't know about. He'll probably do this to the ex he left me for also when things get difficult, but at least that's her dumpster fire to deal with now.
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