Laura Ashley Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Hi everyone I think I might be on love with this guy who I know. I find myself thinking about him all the time. The only dilema im facing is the boundries. You see we cannot be together because his and mine job. He doesn't know I feel this way nor can I tell him without akwardness and confusion. But how do you know when your truley in love with someone and it's not just a phaze crush sort of thing? LA Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 I would say that the first thing that you need to do is know what love means. I'm affraid that thinking of a person "all the time" doesnt qualify. Once you have found out what love means then you are able to say that you love the person or you can say you are in love with him. What it seems like in this stage is that you have INfatuated with him which doesnt have anything to do with love. I would first try to explain the difference between in love and love, if you can make the distinction then you are on your way to understanding what love actually means. If you cant explain the difference then you have more learning to do. Link to comment
kungfumaster Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Yah - I think you are just infatuated now. Love is something more. WARNING: What follows is off topic from original poster. As to what Day Walker brought up, I am always intrigued at the difference between "in love" and "love". I agree with this, no doubt. I'm not sure if anyone else feels this way, but I always get mad when people use this as a reason to break up, i.e., "I love you, but I'm not in love with you". Basically, what this person wants is the "honeymoon period" all over again, and I hate that. The honeymoon period is over - and if he/she is willing to work a bit harder I think, he/she will experience something even more better than the honeymoon period - I haven't experienced this myself, but that's my guess. Anyways, that's just my 3 cents. Link to comment
Laura Ashley Posted May 5, 2005 Author Share Posted May 5, 2005 Okay ... I'm feeling very confused now. Link to comment
kungfumaster Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Sorry for confusing you Laura. I think we just wanted to tell you that we don't think you "love" this person in the "adult", "mature" sense of the word - whatever that means. I mean, of course, what you have now COULD be the BEGINNINGS of love, but not love yet. Aeeeeyyy - hope I didn't confuse you more. In anycase, you will find out in your own sweet time sweetie. Link to comment
NorthStar90745 Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 oh is that what love is?..... Link to comment
Elfdrinkingtea Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Love is unconditional. When you love some one, you will love them no matter what. I was in love with this girl. SHe is quiet boring becuz she doesnt' talk alot, so it is really hard to try to commute with her. But that doesn't seem to bother me at all, becuz i am in lvoe with her. When you're in love with some one, sure you think about them all the time. Whenever she is upset or basiscally not happy i would too get upset and not happy. It like her problems becomes my problems. Link to comment
Strandysmommy Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 I think in order to be in love with someone you have to love them first. I guess I could put it the way my boyfriend put it when I asked him about why he's in love with me. (Because not too long ago he came out and said he is falling in love with me, and now it's confirmed The feeling is mutual) OK, here's what he said, or so to speak: "I imagine what it would be like if you weren't here. If by some horrible accedent you were taken away from me. It's a horrible HORRIBLE feeling in my heart." Of course that's not all there is to it. Being in love means that you are willing to take them for who they are, with all their faults. It means you would be willing to do a lot for them. This includes backing off if they were to break up with you, or to call them out on something you see harming them. When you're in love with someone you have this...gosh...I don't know- bond this weird unspoken bond, a secret language that you only know. It's really hard to put into words, honestly. I won't discount how you feel right now, no. Pretty much anyone who is in love has been where you are. Yeah it's infatuation, but it shows that you have great affection for this guy. What concerns me is that he doesn't seem to know this is how you feel. Love doesn't HAVE to be a two way street, but it really is the best scenerio. It's the one that doesn't nessascarily end in a broken heart. I don't know if any of this made sense...that's just how I see it. Link to comment
nexus532 Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 To find out if your in love ask your self, can i be with this person for the rest of my life? When you answer that you will know the answer. Link to comment
kungfumaster Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 i got it! *sunshine comes through the windows* you "love" someone when you realize you can live without them, but would prefer not to. you are "in love" when you realize you can't live without them! hah! *ducking some tomatoes thrown at high velocity* Link to comment
Laura Ashley Posted September 6, 2005 Author Share Posted September 6, 2005 whats the cure for a common crush? and don't say "keep busy" because that has never worked for me Link to comment
skyjuice Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Hi Is there really anyone in this world you could not life without? If love is unconditional, and you would do anything for your love: Would you kill for your love? Would you do illegal things for your love? To what extend would you do for your love? Would you compromise your principle for your love? Would forgive your love for cheathing and lying to you? Would select someone to love based on thier background? Would you love rationally? Would you give up all you have just for your love? Is LOVE an INSANITY? Just some thoughts and questions I have, thinking about what love is. I would appreciate your opinions. Thanks. Link to comment
Mysterious Gurl Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 is love insanity??? Link to comment
Kyoshiro Ogari Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 is love insanity??? Yes, it is a notch behind Lust, one of the Seven Sins. Love and Lust are very hard to tell apart. Love hurt Someone said this to me or I heard it on a TV show: "You know you are in love with someone when you care more about their feelings than your own." That always stuck out to me. I think the meaning is deeper than the actual words that were spoken. Link to comment
Mysterious Gurl Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 never heard of it like that? thats a good way of thinking. I can never tell the difference between love and lust. It's kinda embarrasing but, I had a strong crush on this teacher last yr. He has left now because he moved to a different school and still think of him all the time ... I thought I would have got over him over summer but I haven't Link to comment
ComputerGuy Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 I think love is something you can feel for someone for many different reasons and in many different ways. For example you can love someone as a friend as opposed to loving them romantically...however you can love them both as a friend AND romantically. For me love is when you care about a person and would do anything for them, and trust them totally. It's when you want to spend every single moment with them, and a minute without them is like a lifetime but a lifetime with them would feel too short. Maybe my view of things is overtly optimistic...and it quite possibly is, however to me it doesnt seem unrealistic at all. Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Its someone that you work with??? eeewww this is always a tabboo sort of thing. Complicates matters. Used to follow a rule.. "Don't poop where you eat" ... Notice that I said "Used to..." hmmmm. Sooo you want to avoid the lust trap? Then its NC all the way. Go home... pour yourself a strong one..and stay the heck away from him. Go out with your GF's and find a new target. One that is not so close to home and will break your heart. Link to comment
skyjuice Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Hi Are you suggesting never dated someone you work with? your colleage? your client? your boss? Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 I'm suggesting that it may not be in your best interest to do so. Office romances are rampant and often short lived. They bring with them too many nuances that can ruin your career and reputation if it doesn't pan out. Link to comment
ComputerGuy Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Trust me when I say office romances are a bad idea. From personal experience it's not worth it. I ended up leaving my town, and suicidal after that rather dramatic experience....avoid it happening in the first place is my advice. Link to comment
TheFallenShadow Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 All, I can see the points made, but this is also dependent on how the two truly feel for each other. Had i not been working where I was, then i would not have met the woman in whom i have found a completeness that i could not have ever dreamed of having as i do with her. As for it being short lived well it would depend on how you consider short lived.... Anyways this Lady that i refer to is, she is all Lady and she just sertainly rocks my world...She makes my souls quake everytime i see her....Her touch is as magic, and it becomes more so with every passing day... Hope you all have a good day Link to comment
Laura Ashley Posted September 9, 2005 Author Share Posted September 9, 2005 umn ... im 17 so dated a college tutor or student support proffessor wouldn't be such a good idea... story of my life ... don't touch what you can't have Link to comment
Juha Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 True love is unconditional...It is wanting to take the hurt away from them so they do not hurt...It is the willingness to sacrafice for the other person... I agree with what someone said before that I am not in love with you is a copout for the person who can't handle a little difficulty or like they said always wants the honeymoon period.... If you can get past that it is so incredible and blows thehoney moon period away...But to many people or afraid or too immature to handle and know what they want... So they throw the I am not in love with you line to justify there decision and keep bouncing from person to person with never a meanigful relationship in the bunch... Also it is hard to go out with someone you work with because if it does not work out there will be all kinds of problems after.... Link to comment
Laura Ashley Posted September 22, 2005 Author Share Posted September 22, 2005 If you think someone is beautiful is that the same as 'loving' them?? Because mostly I get confused about looks and love... it confusing. I know what I mean I just don't know how to say it Link to comment
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