Is this normal?!?

[RoxyBabe17]

I've been going out with my boyfriend now for a little over 9 months. In my previous relationship ( which lasted 6 months) my ex-boyfriend cheated on me. Usuallay my current boyfriend comes over like everyday except for sometimes when he has projects or doctors appiontments, or other things to do. ( like today, for instance he said that he's not coming over today because he'a getting a (check-up) at the dentist and then he's rebuilding his friends computer ( next door to my house).

 

Well, recently I've noticed then whenever he says he's not coming over because of things like that I get all mad and pissy, I mean I don't tell him off or anything I just kind of get silent or I get into a bad mood. Typically, im not the jealous type what-so-ever but recently I just started thinking that maybe he's just like my ex and I started thinking to myself this is what my ex- did when he cheated on me. I guess im just afraid of losing him. But the question I wanted to ask, Is this normal to think this way? Is it normal to be worried about being cheated on, and if it is how do I overcome the feeling of (well I don't know what word would describe it but is it normal to be worried about a repeat of the last relationship?

 

He constantly tells me he would never do anything like that to me and I want to believe him becuase I have no reason not to but will I ever get over worrying about where he is? Im not crazy, lol , even though it may sound like it, Im just afraid of a repeat of my last relationship. ALl comments are appriciated. Thanks , xxpineapplesxx@link removed

[Pei]

Yes, it is normal to still having hard time trusting, IMO.

 

I was in your situation once. I was engaged to a guy. I found out one day, he cheated on me. We broke things off.

 

Then I found a guy after breaking up with my ex. Took me more than a year to trust him completely. Of course, it really comes down to how your current bf acts to reassure you.

 

What I did was sent email to him to let him know how I felt. And how scared I was. If vocal is hard to communicate, use emails.

[janaka]

As regards doubts concerning cheating, gut feelings always seem to be right.

[greenowl88]

I think that because you have been cheated on, it's only natural that you're going to not be able to trust someone as easily in that department. Don't feel bad, but also don't take your fears of being cheated on out on your boyfriend. Remember, he's not the one that cheated on you. Your ex is. Keep that in mind, and learn to trust your boyfriend. It is totally normal to be jealous, but don't be overly jealous. It could push him away from you because he'll think you don't trust him, which is what it's all about.

[DragonGirl724]

i dont think your cheating ex has anything to do with this. i have felt the same way before with an ex of mine & its simply b/c you may dig the person so much, sometimes too much, and it upsets you that the time you usually have to share with him is interrupted or cut short due to other obligations. its normal, yes, but watch out & get it through your head now that this needs to stop. b/c otherwise you will continue to fester on not being around him that itll make the time WITH him less enjoyable...(implying that attitudes & thoughts like this usually puts the accused person on the defense & thereforeeee provokes unnecessary fights & arguments).

 

i know you feel a little bummed & empty without him around, but instead of getting all bent about it, keep yourself busy doing something fun & enjoy the time alone. go out for a long run, go do something constructive, DO YOUR HOMEWORK! lol, get involved with a cool 1 player videogame, & do other cool things on your own. i find that even going for a casual stroll or drive really allows my mind to clear & escape by myself for a little bit. go over to a friend's house, go bake cookies (and make a special decorated one for your man the next time you see him. )

 

once you involve yourself in other things this will not bother you anymore. and as for your cheating past...dont let it affect your future. you got burned, im sorry to hear that, but all is not over for you, i promise. youll get passed that & you will trust again. if he seems like a sweet guy, dont let some jerk of your past ruin his chances.

 

realize that love is a risk we all take & sometimes it may end up being a very painful experience & other times its really a beautiful one. so cut him some slack & try not to worry .

 

take care,

-DG724

[DN]

I think it is normal after a bad experience but also bear in mind that seeing someone everyday is a lot when you are in highschool. Be careful you don't drive him away by showing your distrust or smother him by going the other way.

[misery12]

I am not sure what to tell you.. but I was wondering something about this..

wouldn't someone get bored of one another if you see him everyday, if you keep doing the same thing .. and there isn't that much excitement?

I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 months, and on average she comes over once during the week, and then we usually hang out all day one day on the weekend.. but im in grade 10, and she's in grade 9, so is that a good amount of time?? sometimes I ask her to hang out, but if she doesnt feel like it, she just says "not today" or something, is this a bad sign, or is it nothing to be worried about.. because she's being open at least. plus she's coming to my cottage with me and my family all weekend too..

any opinions?

[DragonGirl724]

misery,

 

we all need our independance no matter what age. if she is still happy around you i wouldnt think too much into her not wanting to hang out as often as youd like. we are all different. if only seeing her twice a week isnt enough talk it over, but its probably just how she wants to handle things.

 

-DG724

[amour_13]

I think that this is totally normal. I experience the same thing. For me, I get jealous when I know that there is no reason to be. I just want her to be with me and when I think she's going to and then she ends up not being able to I get mad and in a crappy mood. You just have to pay attention to details and learn to trust him. Once you trust him, the worries will go away alot, but they may never disappear completely. Good luck

[DragonGirl724]

its def normal to be a bummed about not seeing your main squeeze but to have it control you & eat you up alive from the inside out will just cause major issues between you 2.

 

-DG724

[RoxyBabe17]

So do you think seeing your "significant other" everyday is a little too much? The more that i think about it the more i think that maybe it is, lol maybe its unhealthy because if i can't manage to be a few days away from him then what's going to happen we break up?

[DragonGirl724]

i think its healthy to have your own life w/o your sig other. do your own thing, see your own friends, dont make your life revolve around your GF/BF. its hard to do sometimes b/c you feel that your sig other makes you feel so happy in such a special way its hard to tear away from it. but hey i think we all should do it from time to time. just to keep a healthy independent life of our own.

 

-DG724