Need some advice

[liasonred]

I'm a caring person, went to a counsellor this week for someone to talk to outside my current situation and the first thing she said to me is that I have a caring spirit.... kinda freaked me out....

 

Background.. me and my GF were together 6.5yrs, lived together 2.5 and were planning to marry May 06. She split with me cos she found someone else, said all the your a better person than me and i need to get my head sorted stuff but ultimately she has turned into someone else with this guys influence and i'm doing my best to move on.

 

The Problem..

When we were together and all was great her Nan passed away. My GF was devestated as she was closer to her Nan than anyone. I also grew to love her Nan too. On her death bed her Nan asked me to promise her that I would always take care of Lisa (my Ex). I did and that promise has stayed with me always. Now that we are not together and none of this is through any fault of my own and did come from nowhere.... she picked the wedding date in march and then decided to split at the end of the month can I let that promise go?

 

Should I tell my ex who knows her nan asked me this that i am letting go of that or am I just being silly and can just forget it?

[RayKay]

I think you are off the hook - it was your ex who broke it off, not you after all!

 

I don't think you need to say a word to your ex about it, just if you believe she is somewhere in spirit say a small apology to Nan and that you tried your best, it might go a long way in helping relieve some of that burden you feel...

 

You are still taking care of her in a way, so don't feel as if you broke your promise either. You set her free when she needed to go - and that is caring.

[litoosh743]

liasonred,

its a very touching post.

Your ex's nan loved her and wanted to make sure she'll have someone to look after her after she's gone....

I think that instead of letting this promise go keep it but in a different way.

For now you are broken up and most likely will stay this way, so for now, let your ex go, live your life and she will live hers, and with whatever choices she makes, but if one day she will need you - then keep your promise and help her, not out of interest to get her back but because you made this promise. That way, you can let it go and still keep a promise and not dwell on it.

good luck

[liasonred]

I gave her a ring.... told her I was letting go and that the only thing holding me back was the promise.

 

she said don't worry about it... Makes me feel a hell of a lot better. Probably won't last too long but now I can heal.

 

I will miss her forever but am still breathing, sure she will miss me too but there as there is someone else for her and i'm sure there is someone else for me too.

 

It is better to have loved and lost than never to love at all.