Days can be so CRUEL

[MegB]

Sometimes I find myself doing find lately, and BOOM! I’m an emotional wreck for about an hour to the rest of the day. I have a couple of degrees in psychology and have been trying to suppress 14 years of a relationship I never wanted to give up on.

 

My recording of self hypnosis has been doing great as I listen to them while I sleep, but this morning I woke up ready to have a great time with my kids, and all the stupid songs he listen too or sang to me were on the radio.

 

It’s just to cruel to get out and see similar cars that look like his and I know that therapy is helping but I just need a lot more to stop having feelings for him.

 

I did find a friend to talk to, but he has way to many issues and complains every 30 seconds literally about feeling sick and his family ( mom, sister and brother). I thought I had it bad until I heard him, but I know that hearing his issues is not needed today. He is a very hardheaded person, but any-who, I wish that I could just wash my brain of the past decade of knowing him and everything about my ex.

 

I really hope to never run into my ex regardless of how much I love him. Why do I have to miss the one person that hurt me the most? I feel like a walking contradiction.

[jellybean2018]

I feel your pain today, i have had a relapse after years... tears the lot!

 

I never understand my mind... love is so complex and messed up sometimes.

 

It is so cruel... especially when they are fine and moving on! I dunno how to heal myself so any advice would be great,

 

In these situations, NC seems to make things better but not a solution for subconscious sabotage

[leighanna23]

I believe once you love someone that love never leaves us- no matter how many years go by or people we are with. It shapes us; all of it, the pain, the memoires, the regrets. My problem is I get caught up in the wishing I would have done this or that or said something different than I did back then. I tend to live in the past.

 

I also hope I never run into my ex. We both live in a fairly small city and it has happened once in the last 6 months. Sucks. I am always one to say hello and stuff, but my heart aches from it and I still hope he confesses his love one day.

 

I deleted all my old pictures- even the ones that he isn't in. Just the memories of the days that we were together hurts me...