Help please I don’t want to lose him 😢

[Jeantine1]

He's is being straight about it, just not mean.

 

It could be seen as mean because he’s texting and calling me I’m not contacting him so if he doesent want me in his life why would he continue to do that ???

[abitbroken]

It could be seen as mean because he’s texting and calling me I’m not contacting him so if he doesent want me in his life why would he continue to do that ???

 

To alleviate his guilt, to have someone to talk to "no strings attached" or out of habit. He's not being mean because you are eagerly or at least compliantly accepting his contact.

 

Why don't you actually leave him alone -- he told you that he doesn't want a relationship so why don't you stop answering his calls all the time and texts? Be busy. If he says "why aren't you talking to me?" then say that he was pretty clear he wasn't interested in dating you anymore so you are moving on.

[boltnrun]

He wants you in his life on his terms. You provide attention, emotional support and ego boosts. And he doesn't have to do a thing to get those things from you. All he has to do is send a text (which is zero effort) and you leap all over it, responding eagerly and hoping each text is the one that says "I want you back".

 

And yes, he knows all this.

 

Question is, how long do you want to keep "hoping"? Years?

[abitbroken]

He wants you in his life on his terms. You provide attention, emotional support and ego boosts. And he doesn't have to do a thing to get those things from you. All he has to do is send a text (which is zero effort) and you leap all over it, responding eagerly and hoping each text is the one that says "I want you back".

 

And yes, he knows all this.

 

Question is, how long do you want to keep "hoping"? Years?

 

This is very good advice.

 

I will also add if you really want this man, you have to let him go. Because if one day he is serious and realized that he let you - "the one that got away" get away --- he will treat you right vs just hitting you up when he doesn't have something else going with someone else. I would cut this off. I would go on coffee dates with new men.

[Jeantine1]

This is very good advice.

 

I will also add if you really want this man, you have to let him go. Because if one day he is serious and realized that he let you - "the one that got away" get away --- he will treat you right vs just hitting you up when he doesn't have something else going with someone else. I would cut this off. I would go on coffee dates with new men.

 

Thanks but I’ve no intention of going on dates with other men right now ..coffee or otherwise lol I’ll just do like you advised stay right away though feel bad to ignore him when he reaches out again .,

[boltnrun]

You don't have to ignore. Short answers.

 

If he texts "How are you?", answer "Well, thank you". If he texts complaining about his situation, simply reply "I'm sorry you're having a rough day". If he texts whining about being hungry and no food in the house, simply reply "I hope things get better for you". Don't offer to go over with food, don't ask him why he's having a bad day, don't ask him how he is. You'll find out real quick if it's you he's interested in...or if he's just interested in what YOU can do for HIM.

[Jeantine1]

You don't have to ignore. Short answers.

 

If he texts "How are you?", answer "Well, thank you". If he texts complaining about his situation, simply reply "I'm sorry you're having a rough day". If he texts whining about being hungry and no food in the house, simply reply "I hope things get better for you". Don't offer to go over with food, don't ask him why he's having a bad day, don't ask him how he is. You'll find out real quick if it's you he's interested in...or if he's just interested in what YOU can do for HIM.[/quote

 

Thanks ..so answer the question but don’t elaborate... i can do that 👍

[abitbroken]

You don't have to ignore. Short answers.

 

If he texts "How are you?", answer "Well, thank you". If he texts complaining about his situation, simply reply "I'm sorry you're having a rough day". If he texts whining about being hungry and no food in the house, simply reply "I hope things get better for you". Don't offer to go over with food, don't ask him why he's having a bad day, don't ask him how he is. You'll find out real quick if it's you he's interested in...or if he's just interested in what YOU can do for HIM.[/quote

 

Thanks ..so answer the question but don’t elaborate... i can do that 👍

 

And if you are having lunch with a friend, are at a movie, are at work, don't get back to him -- its okay to be busy and answer hours or a day later.