What should i do?? Please help :(

[Anonymous200]

It sounds like you've hashed out a lot of it with others on the forum, but I want to ask if he's invited you to meet his friends or his parents? I could understand him wanting his time with you to be filled with only you, but after 7 months I would think it appropriate for you to become a little more ingrained in his life. I would be worried that no one even knew I existed if I hadn't had some introductions by then.

 

Also, an hour really isn't a long distance relationship. I did two plane flights for awhile. You're seeing this guy about as much as I saw the person who was multiple plane flights away.

 

If you feel like you're growing apart, you probably are - even established relationships need regular time together to keep them going. It also doesn't sound like he's left much room for the relationship to grow and become more intimate. Try having a mature conversation with the guy about how you're feeling instead of labeling yourself as needy. If he really works that much and goes to school, he is very stretched, but it doesn't mean a compromise of some kind couldn't be struck. Frankly, he's not worth it if he doesn't at least hear you out in a kind and compassionate manner. A lot of women would not be okay with the current situation you are experiencing.

 

I've met his parents and his brothers. I know he's told all his friends about me and I've been invited to his best friends birthday party ( This will be the first time I meet him)

 

I think everyone is right in saying that we dont see each other enough and I am going to talk to him and see if we can reach some sort of compromise that works for the both of us. I'll probably godown to see him more often because he is always the one to come and see me.

[MissCanuck]

Wanting to see your partner more than a couple times a month (when it's not really long-distance) is not needy, OP.

 

You said you have offered to come to him, and he has essentially shut that down. There isn't a lot you can do to explore other methods when he doesn't seem willing to compromise.

 

My guess is that, unfortunately, you are more invested than he is.

[mustlovedogs]

Do you ever just, yknow, drive to hang out? With no expectation of staying over?

[Anonymous200]

Wanting to see your partner more than a couple times a month (when it's not really long-distance) is not needy, OP.

 

You said you have offered to come to him, and he has essentially shut that down. There isn't a lot you can do to explore other methods when he doesn't seem willing to compromise.

 

My guess is that, unfortunately, you are more invested than he is.

 

 

I think you're right. I tried to suggest me coming down to him again last night and he is completely against it, his reasoning is that he doesn't want me to spend more money than I have to (Because I dont drive and would have to pay for trains and offered to stay at a hotel for the weekend. Bearing in mind that financially things are a bit tight)

 

He says he'd rather think of something else, he suggested coming down more often, but I think that is putting unnecessary stress on him and I dont see another solution that he could possibly come up with

[Anonymous200]

Do you ever just, yknow, drive to hang out? With no expectation of staying over?

 

I dont drive either but I have suggested taking the trains down to see him just for a day but he doesn't agree with that idea either

[mustlovedogs]

I dont drive either but I have suggested taking the trains down to see him just for a day but he doesn't agree with that idea either

 

Why don’t you drive? Why isn’t he ok with the train? Why can’t you plan dinner dates halfway between you two?

[Anonymous200]

Why don’t you drive? Why isn’t he ok with the train? Why can’t you plan dinner dates halfway between you two?

 

I dont drive because I haven't had the time or the money to take lessons.

 

I have never thought of that before I might look into that a bit more