Exhausted issue..

[greenie35]

Yeah it's long,

 

First off, I would like to say I have posted about the same situation too many times as it is. I hope that those of you out there who know my story aren't too annoyed by me continually posting about this. Ya see, I don't have anyone here to talk to. My girlfriends live hours away and I call and talk to them about it occasionally but I still like to get others perspectives.

 

Well...ok beautiful man at work and I have been making eyes at one another for months. Problem is he has a girlfriend. However I have this sneaking suspicion that they are broken up now. She used to pick him up from work a few times a week, but lately he has been driving him self. Since finding out I had a crush on him, he has really stepped up his flirting. I can't help but look back at him when he gives me those eyes. A friend of his that works there, who I actually talk to has been telling me I should go see the hot guys band play. He told me he would let me know when they are playing again. I don't know anyone here I could go with, so that's a problem. Well, yesterday I saw the two of them talking and the hot guy kept looking over at me occasionally. Then after he left his friend came over and gave me a flyer for his show this Friday. I would love to go but I don't have anyone to go with. Today at work he made every effort he could muster up to make sure I saw him staring at me. It was like every time I turned around, there he was looking right at me. I geek out so horribly...but I love it. I keep thinking that he must have broken up with his gf and now he is finally being assertive about things. I dont reciprocate his flirtations as much because of the whole gf thing. I don't know what's going on with that. I don't want to be "that girl". I mean the guy and I have been flirting for about 7 months now even when my ex and I were still together. We have had oppurtunities to talk...but I alwayas look for a reason to get out of it...I look busy or I change directions. Nervous I guess. So should I go to this show by myself? I have a feeling if I had a drink and relaxed a bit I could talk to him, not to mention work is not really the best place to try to get to know someone. I mean if I go later his friend who I get a long with really well will be there. I don't want to look like a loser groupie going there by myself. I'm pretty sure he wants me to go...this is driving me nuts...

 

oh yeah one more thing about this and it's totally and completely ironic. Annoyingly so. My boyfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago. We moved down here together and he is still working at this cafe. Well a bunch of the hot guy from works friends work with my ex at the cafe. I really don't want my ex to know anything about who I'm seeing. I have a feeling it would get back to him if things did end up working out between me and this guy from work. Perhaps I shouldn't care about it too much, but my ex is kinda spiteful and I think he would spread nasty rumors about me or say other mean things.

[Mun]

I'm pretty sure he wants me to go...this is driving me nuts...

 

I think if he wanted you to go he would invite you himself.

 

Be very careful with people at work who have "good intentions." Many times they have their own agenda. Sometimes people are just vicious and want to be involved in the "office drama" ( with you and this hot guy)

 

I personally would not show up just like that. It looks a bit too "pushy."

 

Hey if the man is single and he flirts with you ( and possibly likes you) what's stoping him from asking you out? He doesn't sound like a shy type. Be patient --let him come to you .

[sonjam]

I agree with Muneca, but only halfway. I agree that you should not go to the show alone. But I want to tell you he's definitely interested, but in order for him to be able to let things happen, you need to stop bolting into the other direction the minute he walks in your direction!!

 

Talk to the guy, smile, be available (if you really are interested) and open up your channels of communication.

 

And one more thing..

 

FORGET about what your ex thinks about it. He out of your life. By the time he finds out if something happens with you guys you will have had plenty of time to warn the hot guy about your ex being spitefull, so if it comes down to him spreading rumors, you new guy can shrug it off!

[sasha505]

I say go to the show alone!

 

Act confident and charming to everyone, have a wonderful time and by going alone, you won't seem intimidating to the guy (like a girl surrounded by loud girlfriends can seem to a guy) and who knows what might happen!

 

Be fabulous! Good luck!

[greenie35]

well...i didn't go to the show..but perhaps I should have...

 

A friend from work mentioned that I was going to go his show but didnt have anyone to go with...he basically told her that I could have hung out with him. I haven't said more then 2 words to this guy, so I thought that was a pretty good sign. Also, apparently last thursday he showed up at the bar I normally go to on Thursdays. I didn't go because I had to study. I almost went too...ARGHH. I don't know, this whole thing is causing me a lot of frustration. I don't think he knows what he wants. He's been in his relatinoship for close to 3 years (same as me and my recent ex) I heard this through a third party. Today I walked in to work completely confident and ready for anything he threw at me. It seems like the days I feel like this I get shot down. It's the days I am guarded that he really shows me attention. Well, he made a point to say hello to me...watched me walk in...I said Hi and smiled kind of coyly--it took all I had just to do that without freaking out. After that, he just seemd kind of not interested in me today. Maybe I made a weird face or something. It felt weird, but mostly because I had to look away while I was smiling. His gf picked him up from work the last couple days. I dunno..I think he would break my heart anyway. I'll just be around...that's all I can do. I'm not bold enough to try and instigate something as long as he's with someone. I want him to come to me if and when he's ready. It just sucks, because I am so sick of being lead astray by men. And he is really leading me on with the looks he gives me. He won't let himself go as far as try to talk to me though, not that their really is any oppurtunities at work...it's very busy. I'm up and then I'm down all in the span of the 2 hours I see him at work. It's really sad because I'm so into him that it's what gets me through the day. It makes it a hell of a lot easier to go to work, I'll say that much. I've talked myself out of feeling this way before, and as soon as I do he's back at it again. It's like I really have to work on getting my nerves together so that when and if it really does happen I am ready. But when I put my guard up again I have to start all over once he shows interest. Is there something wrong with me. Should I not be feeling this way? Is he too blame? I think so.

[Mun]

girl if this man has a gf I say forget him, even if he persues you, he has someone and you should not get yourself into a triangle especially because you work together.

 

Find a man who is single. This one has nothing to offer right now. I think you are wasting your time. Sorry

[greenie35]

you're probably right, it's just that the attraction was instant, even when I was still w/my boyfriend. It will be hard to ignore him, but I will put up my guard again...kinda sad...it was exciting, but not worth the frustration.

[greenie35]

but...here's the thing. From what I understand about this guy he's a pretty good guy. I mean he hasn't done anything wrong, anything to be shameful of w/regard to his gf. Sure, she probably wouldn't appreciate the way he looks at me, but I dunno...I just know I wouldnt want my bf checking out girls the way he looked at me...but maybe she's cool with that kind of thing. Regardless...I'm just there, ya know. I'm not chasing him or anything, just really attracted and from what I understand they may be breaking up...I don't know and I'm not counting on anything. I'm just there...and I'll smile and act like he's just some guy at work. In fact that will probably make it easier to just be myself instead of getting all tensed up. I'm having a hard time with life right now, and it's not just this...it's everything. I am completely alone I sprial between deep depression and being just "alright". This bit of drama has served me well...for the most part. I'm ok.