I'll be seeing her in 2 weeks...

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this but sadly the friendzone is an all too common offer after breaking up.

[baradam]

daaaaaaaaamn I was so happy reading how the situation was progressing, and then that last message...

Honestly, I don't know you or her, or your story, but I think there is something here... And you initiated the "getting back together" convo too soon.

Just keep doing what you were doing, but slow it down even more. You don't have to respond to EVERY message she sends and you don't need to see her that much.

take it reaaally, really slow.

 

If you go completely NC on her now (blocking, ignoring, etc.) you can say good bye to her.

Pull away. Don't text her first. Don't compliment her. Don't invite her to spend time with you and don't accept it either. Say you would love to, but you are too busy with work or whatever.

 

If you play this smart, there is a chance for reconciliation.

Something in her messages tells me that... but you need patience.

 

I know... tell me about it! I thought things were going very well too.

 

As Wiseman mentioned, I think there is an element of attempted friendzoning going on, however, there is definitely something still there too.

 

However, there is no reason she would want to be friends with me. We weren't friends before. I, admittedly, wasn't the most pleasant person to her over the month or two before we broke up.

 

Part of me thinks you're right - only message back if she contacts me. But part of me is thinking of messaging later this week taking her up on her offer and just seeing how it pans out, but I know I probably wont do that due to stubbornness. A few good female friends of mine have strongly urged me to do this. They know me, her, and they know the situation - and they feel that she isn't the type of person to just rush in to something (and I agree). I'm nowhere near as emotional about the situation now (this site has definitely helped) and think I can deal with it well. However, I think reconciliation is always a long-term goal. We're 2 months or so down the line. I've accepted that nothing is going to happen in the next couple of months - so maybe for now just leaving it and cracking on is the best option.

 

I'm confused haha.

[baradam]

Can I just add - the main reason we split up was me taking a job on, which meant less time together, which caused a lot of tension and then arguments.

 

Would it therefore be wise to say the reason I can't meet her is because of work? It's basically saying exactly the same as the cause of the break up?

[Doosha]

Baradm - we dont know you, her or your situation. We can only give you general advice from our own perspective which cant be either right or wrong. However, your friends know you well. Are these female friends mutual friends?

 

Who broke up (forgive me if you said it already)?

 

As for the reason why you cant meet her, you dont have to give specific reason. Just say you are busy then, but you would like a raincheck. Then its up to you when and if you will call her up.