Road blocks

[Smokey14151]

Here I am again, I guess I’m just really insecure about my whole relationship...... I’m not good at all at this so usally if I have the littlest bit of doubt I come here.

 

I guess my issue is that I feel like I put so much effort into our relationship, just to get nothing back.

 

For example I’ll snap chat her something like “I wish you were here right now” or “I wanna come cuddle” she will respond with a picture and nothing else. Then I might say “Nothing to say?” She will say “I was thinking”. Then I’ll ask “about what?”. Then she will say nothing.... She does this a lot where she doesn’t say anything or try to keep the conversation going. When I talk to her about it she will say “I’m just not one for words” or “My eyes say it all”.

 

Another example is like when we were at my friends graduation party. A lot happened I didn’t like. Most of the other guys there were really good looking and I could almost see the droll coming out of her mouth. She acted like she was almost embarrassed of me. We were sitting next to each other, but she was basically on the other end of her seat much closer to a different guy.... Then later awn we were sitting by the fire and there was a two person seat open(only one). I ventured over to ask her if she wanted to sit there with me. She said what? I said it again she said she thought you said something else then just sat back down in her seat..... So she just kinda blew me off.

 

So I guess I’m just tired of it. I’ve thought about breaking up with her, but I would say the good times far outnumber the bad ones. When we are alone it’s like she’s a different person, but in any social setting its like that.

 

I should say that I really want to stay with her, but I can’t keep going like this. Is it hopeless? Or Should I try to talk to her about it and see what she says?

[melancholy123]

I believe people should always discuss what's on their minds as how is the other person supposed to know what you are thinking?

 

You do sound needy and clingy so maybe you need to work on being less that way.

[purplepaisley]

I'm not sure how to define what's going on, as I don't see any real flags here other than a different way of doing things. I am not one who wants to text and chit-chat all day, and I can see myself responding with a meme or smiley instead of carrying on at length, all day, every day. At a party or in public, I don't want to be joined at the hip or glommed together all the time. I appreciate that we can converse and socialize as separate entities, and I will not join you on a sofa for two if it means I have to be all snuggly and kissy-face with you the rest of the night as if we were alone, all the while completely ignoring the party and people and not being allowed to socialize. Now I can fully understand how you feel when you state she ignores you and talks to other people, but I question if you are being dramatic, expecting a high level of attention all the time, very clingy and needy and insecure, and her behavior is just normal social behavior and you need to put on your big boy pants and enjoy the environment and get jiggy later in private. Does she fully ignore you or does she acknowledge you and include you, just not the hands and pawing and pet names and smoochy behavior that you want...which is rather inappropriate and juvenile in many adult settings.

 

It seems all of this could be cleared up with some discussion on what each other expects as far as daily communication and behavior in public. Talk to her about your insecurities and see if you can reach some common ground.