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How to get their attention...


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So I had a really good friendship with a guy at work, have for a while. We had a wild night out a couple weeks ago and ended up sleeping together. After the fact, he started texting me every day. I’d see him in work then he’d text when we got home. I often catch him looking at me when We’re at work which made me feel maybe he likes me.


The only thing is...he’s very laidback. I have a feeling he’s likely texting others (totally fine he’s single), I see him ‘like’ another colleagues pictures on Instagram who he was texting before me. He hasn’t asked me out and I’m unsure if he will. I know he can do whatever the heck he wants it just bothers me that I may not be the only one in his sights.


I’m unsure how to play it - I’ve been out of the game for a while. My friends tell me I should ask him out but I don’t know if my pride could take possible rejection! Do I lay off the contact? I’m normally pretty quick at texting him back etc. The old classic ‘play hard to get’..(yes we slept with each other but it was a bit of a drunken disaster if you know what I mean..)

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Hey, have you ever spoke to him about what happened, or have you sort of ignored the situation and continued being friend? If not I would definitely try talk to him about it and see how he feels about it, because it would not have happened if there was not some sort of connection/attraction in the first place. About the whole liking pictures, don't worry about it, I know plenty of guys who like heaps of peeps pictures and it doesn't mean that they are attracted to them, they simply just like liking pictures :-) He is texting you alot so he definitely cares about you whether that's as a friend or a potential partner, so I would speak to him about happened. He's properly just shy when it comes to admitting his feelings, and hes maybe waiting for you to make the first move. I wouldn't go for the "playing hard to get card", I mean it's up to you but from my experience it ended up making a guy lose interest in me, so I think honestly is the best policy. He seems like a really nice guy, and if it didn't go the way you wanted it to, I'm sure you would still remain friends regardless :-) So tell him how you feel or least talk about that drunk night, because you will just keep worrying about if you don't!!! Better just to just get it out there

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Thanks for your advice!! We did talk about it but he’s not the best on text, I’m hoping there will be a time in a social situation I’ll be able to speak to him better. I don’t want to scare him off and at the same time need to know if he’s truly interested! I guess two weeks isn’t that long is it?

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Has he ever asked you out on a date or you two just chose to have sex one night when you happened to be out? He might be laid back -my husband is as well- and that has nothing to do with whether he wants to date you - people who are very laid back are like everyone else -they move towards pleasure and away from pain -and if pleasure to him is taking you out on a date he will make the effort to ask you out on a date.


If you want to ask him out there are two things to consider -great likelihood that that will establish a pattern where you will be the one doing most of the asking out -is that ok with you? And second if you don't ask him out on a date you plan that involves staying sober and hopefully public activities, he likely will assume you want to meet up and have sex and start a sexual arrangement rather than getting to know each other romantically and otherwise through dating.


I would not ask him out just because you think he is too laid back to ask you out. Also there is no game here in the sense that the cat is out of the bag -he already knows you're sexually attracted to him and that you're ok with casual sex. Nothing wrong with either of those things but typically the "strategies" with dating - letting someone get to know you at a reasonable pace over time and - are most effective if you don't lay it all out on the table right away.

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What are you hoping for with him? FWB? Casual dating? Hookups? Exclusive relationship? Your approach could be different depending on what you want out of this. Is texting and smiling at work the only way you communicate now? Have you tried talking to him or talking in person outside of work?

So I had a really good friendship with a guy at work, have for a while. We had a wild night out a couple weeks ago and ended up sleeping together.
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