Just found out my ex is on a new relationship.

[Dadadaisy123]

7 months since the breakup. I know i should expect this by now... but it is still shocking. I wonder why am i still single.... I guess its because i CAN. Because I can wait for someone special. I can dare to be alone, hurt alone, heal alone.

[Dadadaisy123]

We used to break up all the time. i mean, she would break up with me at the end of every year we've been together. My friends say she would do that to have sex with other people. I feel so stupid. I thought this time she would come back.. or at least miss me....

[Clio]

This was a toxic person. She is still that toxic person. She hasn't changed. Chances are that the new person is in for the same nasty ride once the honeymoon hormones wear off.

 

Regardless, keeping tubs on her love life is a huge mistake. You are keeping yourself stuck and hurting yourself with negative self talk. You need to treat learning any new info about her as toxic and do your best to avoid it.

 

She is still a toxic person. She hasn't changed. You need to let go and move on. Blocking any new information from reaching you is key. Good luck.

[bluecastle]

In agreement with Clio, and can in ways relate to where you're at.

 

I'm 7 months out of a relationship that I had to come to terms with was just pure toxicity. Did a real number of my self-esteem, self-worth, and all that fun stuff. For me, therapy has been a blessing—it allowed me to stop looking to my ex for validation and start looking into myself, asking the hard questions about my own broken pieces that lead me to crave validation from someone who had no ability to give it in a genuine form. That's been hard too, but ultimately empowering. It's allowed me to feel pain I've ignored for a long time, and in feeling it, and surviving it, finding validation from within.

 

My ex has been jumping into new things left and right. Hell, it's what she was doing toward the end of the relationship, so while it hurt, it wasn't much of a surprise. I know she remains deeply troubled and unhappy—she continues to reach out to me in hostile ways, and I assume that's only when some other guy has failed to fill the void. At this point it's just sad, and frankly just another reminder of how much better off I am on my own.

 

If you can start seeing it like that, you'll be in a better place. Just let this wave of pain wash over you and you'll come out stronger.

[singingstick]

It happens... the measure of success in life has nothing to do with relationship status. Remember that.

[ThatwasThen]

We used to break up all the time. i mean, she would break up with me at the end of every year we've been together. My friends say she would do that to have sex with other people. I feel so stupid. I thought this time she would come back.. or at least miss me....

 

I would like to see you get the help you need to overcome your codependency and lack of self-worth. No man worth having would take back an someone who would use them as filler while she was scouting out new meat.

 

I'm sorry to be so blunt and by being so it doesn't mean I don't have empathy for your pain but you need to forget her because she's not worth your thoughts, your pain or your addiction to her and you need the help because you're not progressing towards acceptance or indifference to the likes of her.

 

Getting help to forgive yourself for taking her back time after time is where you need to start in order to put her in the past where she belongs.

"Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity." ~ Albert Einstein

[Dadadaisy123]

I would like to see you get the help you need to overcome your codependency and lack of self-worth. No man worth having would take back an someone who would use them as filler while she was scouting out new meat.

 

I'm sorry to be so blunt and by being so it doesn't mean I don't have empathy for your pain but you need to forget her because she's not worth your thoughts, your pain or your addiction to her and you need the help because you're not progressing towards acceptance or indifference to the likes of her.

 

Getting help to forgive yourself for taking her back time after time is where you need to start in order to put her in the past where she belongs.

"Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity." ~ Albert Einstein

 

Im actually very young. This was my first relationship... I didnt know my ex did this. When she would breakup with me, she used to do it after some fight, and would give me a plausible answer. It was always something I did, said or was. So i would always think i was the done to blame...Also, i never knew she would date other people. Now that i know that, i realise she was somewhat abusive and this relationship was very toxic....

[Dadadaisy123]

In agreement with Clio, and can in ways relate to where you're at.

 

I'm 7 months out of a relationship that I had to come to terms with was just pure toxicity. Did a real number of my self-esteem, self-worth, and all that fun stuff. For me, therapy has been a blessing—it allowed me to stop looking to my ex for validation and start looking into myself, asking the hard questions about my own broken pieces that lead me to crave validation from someone who had no ability to give it in a genuine form. That's been hard too, but ultimately empowering. It's allowed me to feel pain I've ignored for a long time, and in feeling it, and surviving it, finding validation from within.

 

My ex has been jumping into new things left and right. Hell, it's what she was doing toward the end of the relationship, so while it hurt, it wasn't much of a surprise. I know she remains deeply troubled and unhappy—she continues to reach out to me in hostile ways, and I assume that's only when some other guy has failed to fill the void. At this point it's just sad, and frankly just another reminder of how much better off I am on my own.

 

If you can start seeing it like that, you'll be in a better place. Just let this wave of pain wash over you and you'll come out stronger.

Im in a very similar situation! My relationship was very very toxic.and i bet my ex jumped in the first relationship she found. I think it is really sad.although we hate each other right now, we had a very close and special relationship... she used to say i was the love of her life. So, despite being over, i know its not easy to replace something like that. That why i dont even try. Lately ive been trying to do my own thing. It hurts a little bit, but i want to be single until i find someone i really want to date. I suffered a lot in this relationship and always thought my ex was stronger than me. I have to say Im really proud of myself for surviving alone :)

So be proud too! We won!

[wgmitch]

7 months since the breakup. I know i should expect this by now... but it is still shocking. I wonder why am i still single.... I guess its because i CAN. Because I can wait for someone special. I can dare to be alone, hurt alone, heal alone.

 

This is always a hard thing to learn about your ex. But as someone said above please stop checking on her. If people are offering information on her, just ask them to stop. Do not waste another single moment thinking about this person, you are better than this.

 

You said you are young and that in itself is a blessing. You have learned a valuable lesson at a young age and can now move forward. You will find someone when the time is right and they will treat you with respect.

 

Keep working on you and be selfish, you deserve it! Dive into work or school or both to get yourself as busy as possible. Seek out therapy or faith to move you forward.

 

Do not look back and just keep moving forward.

 

We are all here for you.

 

Mitch