anal sex and ejaculate

[stronghotshot2005]

my boyfriend and i want to have anal sex, and he wants to ejaculate in there....is this safe? we are both free of any diseases etc.

[RayKay]

I don't have too much time, but if you do a search under my name and with anal sex, you will find a few posts of mine with some lengthy advice about anal sex for first timers including how to get past the initial pain and so on.

 

As for the ejaculate...it is okay to do if you are both clean (tissue is more delicate so higher infection) but the flow after might not be pleasant...

 

Anyway.....but ideally the BEST thing to do is use a condom. The tissues are very delicate there...and the risk of infection for both of you is thereforeeee higher (bacteria can enter his urethra, or you through the tissues). Do NOT go from the anus to the vagina with the penis either in order to prevent transferring bacteria that can cause infections.

[ReadyorNot]

Hey, I just have a quick question.. hopefully someone can help me... I did a brief search on raykay's responses to "anal" questions...

 

So for the last 6 months or so my bf has really wanted to try anal sex... neither of us have ever had it... He gets all excited and begs me to let him try it.... I dont want to try it... BUT ONLY because in August 2004 I had to go to the hospital and have a "scope" done... it was the worst thing ever... it felt disgusting, it was painful etc etc...

 

Sometimes I mention that and he is like "oh right, I am sorry".. but other times he begs and moans and growns, so I get mad and say he can try it, but i am so nervous, there is no way he can get it at all, and what he is doing hurts still...

 

What can I do? Either to make it more comfortable (i dont think simple breathing techniques will help) or what can I do to make him give up?

[RayKay]

Well, I think to make him give up it should just be a matter of if you don't want it, he needs to respect that...it is still your body after all.

 

As to make yourself more comfortable...my guess is mostly you are getting nervous and it is making it more painful.

 

There are two muscles in the front part of the anus which the penis needs to basically get past. Now one of them is a bit more voluntary, so if you relax, it should also relax. The other one is a bit higher up and this one is an involuntary muscle....meaning that your body naturally wild hold it tighter. The trick to anal is that the penis actually has to get PAST this muscle where all the lube comes in. And when it does get past it, it will likely be painful for about 10 seconds, and then that muscle will just relax and you are good to go....it takes some practice.

 

Position is also very important. The doggy style can be the WORST position for anal the first times you are doing it. Try spooning instead or a modified version of that, or a missionary style position. In both you have some more control over how far in he goes...once you get used to it he will be able to go in further.

 

I think the other key is you need to want it to...so you getting mad and agreeing won't work! Either tell him you don't want it, or work more on that foreplay...he should be using his lubed fingers to play with your anus a bit to loosen it up and get you used to it more as well.

 

If there are any other questions, please ask.

[someguy69]

It's a very good idea to use condoms when having anal sex. There is scientific evidence to show that male ejaculate contains immunosuppressant components. They exist for the purpose of weakening the defenses of the cervix so that sperm may pass through.

 

The vagina has natural defenses to these immunosuppressant agents, but the rectum does not.

 

Yes, if you are both monogamous and disease free, there is little risk if precautions are taken -- i.e. both of you should wash up afterwards, it is still a risky activity.

[Burtee]

I've done that a few times with my ex-boyfriend (he ejaculated inside me). And everytime, I would get stomach aches for a day after and have to go to the bathroom. After that, I said never again. I always made him pull out.

 

I would definitley get an AIDS test first though. Its a higher risk for you to get AIDS through anal sex.

 

Best way to do it - lay on your stomach, make sure you are FULLY lubricated, have him enter very slowly, and continue to do so slowly until you feel you're streatched out enough. The anus is a muscle and stretches, so if he fingers your anus first, it will probably not hurt as much when he enters you . Good luck!

[stronghotshot2005]

stomach aches how? just going to the bathroom alot or you were really having stomach pains?

[RayKay]

stomach aches how? just going to the bathroom alot or you were really having stomach pains?

 

It is possible that it was causing irritation on her tissues (I mean that the ejaculate was) which could of bothered her, or the ejaculate can get high enough up to well, basically cause sort of an enema.....sorry to be so descriptive!

[stronghotshot2005]

oh i see

[Burtee]

Yes, I think RayKay was right about.....the enima thing. Cum just shouldnt be in there to begin with.

[RayKay]

Yes, I think RayKay was right about.....the enima thing. Cum just shouldnt be in there to begin with.

 

Yeah, and there are ways to avoid that and still have anal sex - it can be very pleasurable for some people (both men and women) once they learn to do it right, and with the right partner.